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ANOTHER IRISH JOKE

(Or maybe it’s a BMW joke!)

On a golf tour in Ireland , Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?, asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on the God's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!".


posted by bussorah at 5:17 PM

 
A SURPRISING BIT OF HISTORY

The last great cavalry charge in history:

"Dawn found Sgt. Alberto Giadorno gripping the reins of his mount in one hand and his Mo. 1891 carbine in the other – which was not easy, as both hands were sweating profusely. His was one of the squadrons on the left wing of the Savoia Cavalry regiment. The Savoia, one of Italy’s oldest and proudest military formations, was among the units Mussolini had "contributed" to his ally Hitler’s invasion of the Soviet Union. Their orders this day were to delay the advance of a large Soviet column moving across the Isbuschenski steppe.

After dismounting one third of their men to fight on foot, the rest of the regiment deployed for a mounted attack. His captain instructed Alberto to order his men to load their carbines and make ready. In a scene reminiscent of an earlier time, the bugles sounded and to the cheer "Avanté Savoia!" the last great cavalry charge in military history began. Within three hours, 600 Italian troopers would wipe out two Red battalions, force a third to retreat in panic and capture more than 500 prisoners, large quantities of weapons, vehicles and supplies. While the record of the Italian army in World War II was not always a proud one, the Savoia’s charge that August 24, 1942 showed that the fighting spirit of Rome’s ancient legions still lived….."

Taken from “Shotgun News” issue of August 20, 2003 - written by Paul Scarlata with photos by James Walters. This was an article about the Fucile di Fanteria Modello 1891, otherwise known in America as the 7.62 x 52 calibre Carcano.

The original source of the article appears to have been: ” The Last Cavalry Charge in WWII” by Sergio Andreanelli -- published in March 1990 and indexed here. Other accounts of the action concerned, however, suggest that the scale of the victory was much smaller than is described above. But a victory of horses over machines it was.


posted by bussorah at 5:13 PM

 
LIBERTY AND MORALITY THREATENED FROM ALL SIDES

"In their blundering eagerness to coerce us all to behave properly in their different terms -- for liberals, meaning we should all be made to share the wealth, for conservatives mainly that we should all be marched toward heaven -- liberals and conservatives promote policies that basically make moral choice impossible. They want government to regiment how we will behave. Because, however, their terms ignore what is most significant about people, namely their free will, they both work to destroy genuine moral responsibility."


posted by bussorah at 5:18 PM

 
THE CAUSES OF THE BIG BLACKOUT

"The power industry is no more 'deregulated' than are the airlines faced with government-owned airports, State-mandated and -controlled security measures, antismoking rules, passenger mandates, and the thousand-and-one other laws and regulations dictating how they can operate their businesses. But to the statists and the collectivists, any small loosening of the chains is equivalent to total freedom. Then, when the hobbled man is unable to run a four-minute mile, 'deregulation' is deemed the culprit, and the industry must be reined in like a recalcitrant stallion on the verge of escape."

posted by bussorah at 5:28 PM

 
CHOCOLATE

I love dark chocolate so this is good news: “Two research letters in the Aug. 27 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association found dark chocolate and drinkable cocoa had beneficial effects on certain measures of heart function”



posted by bussorah at 5:27 PM

 
An Irish joke

Irish they were and drunk for sure and they sat in the corner of Mulligan's newly refurbished bar. Across the wall opposite was a huge mirror, fourteen feet long and stretching from floor to ceiling.

Glancing around the room Pat suddenly spotted their reflection in the mirror.

'Mick, Mick,' he whispered. 'Don't look now but there's two fellas over there the image of us!'

'In the name of God,' said Mick, spotting the reflection.

'They're wearing identical clothes and everything.'

'That does it,' said Pat. 'I'm going to buy them a drink.'

But as Pat started to rise from his seat, Mick said, 'Sit down Pat one of them's coming over!'


posted by bussorah at 5:03 PM

 
..
posted by bussorah at 8:15 PM

 
A NEW ZEALAND JOKE

You may need to have heard a broad New Zealand accent to follow this one:

Wiremu, a New Zealander, landed at Heathrow in London to watch the All Blacks play a big football test match. He was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I don't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had prostate problems, and that the only cure was an immediate testicular removal.

"No way doc, I'm here for the Rugby" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Pommy doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment. Wiremu was devastated but, with only hours to go before the All Blacks opening game he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust. The Kiwi doctor examined him and said "Wiremu, you huv prostate suckness ey".

"What's the cure thin doc ey?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls." "Phew, thunk gud for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Pommy bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

posted by bussorah at 8:11 PM

 
A SCHWARZENEGGER JOKE

This is an old joke but topical at the moment:

WHAT AM I?

Schwartzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use his.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?


Answer below!

(This is really good)

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*


The answer is:


"A Last Name."



posted by bussorah at 8:09 PM

 
NO POWER TO THE PEOPLE?

In the light (or darkness) of the US North East's black out the techies are pointing out that a global energy grid would provide the cheapest and safest power -- an idea originally put forward by that truly original thinker Buckminster Fuller. I cannot see it happening. Ignoring the Greenies would be a more likely solution. The Greenies have done their level best to prevent the building of more power stations everywhere so it is no wonder that what we have sometimes gets overstretched. The fact that the Lone Star State has its very own independent power grid must be causing a lot of not so quiet satisfaction at the moment but Texans do of course pay a bit more than they otherwise would for their electricity because of that. I am sure, however, that they are now totally convinced about that being worthwhile. So what price a global grid? No way.

posted by bussorah at 6:10 PM

 
U.S. GOVERNMENT WASTE

See what the U.S. government’s own agency (the GAO) says about how the U.S. government uses and looks after the assets that the taxpayer has been bled to provide for it:

“Over 30 agencies control hundreds of thousands of real property assets worldwide, including facilities and land, which are worth hundreds of billions of dollars.
[M]any assets are in an alarming state of deterioration; agencies have estimated restoration and repair needs to be in the tens of billions of dollars. Compounding these problems are the lack of reliable governmentwide data for strategic asset management, a heavy reliance on costly leasing instead of ownership to meet new needs, and the cost and challenge of protecting these assets against potential terrorism.

Restoration, repair, and maintenance backlogs in federal facilities are significant and reflect the federal government’s ineffective stewardship over its valuable and historic portfolio of real property assets. The backlog is alarming because of its magnitude—current estimates show that tens of billions of dollars will be needed to restore these assets and make them fully functional.
DOD (Department of Defense) reported in 2001 that the cost of bringing its facilities to a minimally acceptable condition was estimated at $62 billion; the cost of correcting all deficiencies was estimated at $164 billion.

DOD (Department of Defense) estimates that it is spending $3 billion to $4 billion each year maintaining facilities that are not needed. In July 1999, we reported that vacant VA space was costing as much as $35 million to maintain each year.”

More here


posted by bussorah at 5:30 PM

 
THE NEOCON INFLUENCE

The article below implies that neocon influence is behind GWB’s big-government policies. Very dubious. I think GWB just wants Democrat votes. But it is true -- and regrettable -- that the neocons lack the opposition to big government that motivates other conservatives. One cannot be too critical of the neocons for what they see as a “realistic” approach, however. Not even Reagan managed to rein in the size of the U.S. government overall. So trying to kick the neocons on those grounds is pretty stupid. Since neoconservatism is mainly the creation of Jewish intellectuals, I suspect a bit of covert Jew-baiting here. Is Bush doing bad things? Blame the Jews! Disgusting.

"For some months, we have been hearing a lot about how neoconservatism underpins the Bush administration's foreign policy, especially the war in Iraq. Now, some neoconservatives are saying their philosophy underpins the administration's domestic and economic policy as well. The evidence for this contention is strong, a fact that will undoubtedly exacerbate tensions between President Bush and traditional conservatives. To understand what this debate is all about, one needs to know what neoconservatism is and where it came from."

More here

Update:

Pat Buchanan has got the real handle on it: “Indeed, it has been the great success of Bush-Rove to talk the talk and affect the swagger of cowboy conservatives while occupying the center and the center-left and crowding out the moderate Democrats.”

posted by bussorah at 5:30 PM

 
SADDAM'S PROGENY

Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known family
members are coming to the attention of American authorities.


Among the brothers:

Sooflay ............the restauranteur
Guday...............the half-Australian brother
Huray...............the sports fanatic
Sashay..............the gay brother
Kuntay & Kintay.....the twins from the African mother
Sayhay..............the baseball player
Ojay................the stalker/murderer
Gulay...............the singer/entertainer
Ebay................the internet czar
Biliray.............the country music star
Ecksray.............the radiologist
Puray...............the blender factory owner
Regay...............the half-Jamaican brother
Tupay...............the one with bad hair

Among the sisters:

Pusay...............the > '> loose> '> 22 yr old
Lattay..............the coffee shop owner
Bufay...............the 300 pound sister
Sapheway............the grocery store owner
Ollay...............the half-mexican sister
Gudlay..............the prostitute

More will no doubt be discovered.


posted by bussorah at 5:23 PM

 
RELIGIOUS HUMILITY NEEDED

Christ preached humility but some Christian moralists seem not to have heard:

"Some people think that homosexuality needs to be an exception in the arena of discrimination because they consider such behavior to be sinful. They have every right to that belief. But others, including a significant number of religious institutions, don't have a similar mindset. Witness, for example, the recent Episcopal election of an openly homosexual priest to the level of Bishop. They, too, have every right to that belief. Just as we don't discriminate against people for their beliefs in this country, neither should those people use their beliefs as a rationale to actively discriminate against others."

More here


posted by bussorah at 5:12 PM

 
HIP-HOP -- CAUSE OR EFFECT?

There is an article
here that points to how the "hip hop" culture holds back American blacks:

“Not long ago, I was having lunch in a KFC in Harlem, sitting near eight African-American boys, aged about 14.... They were extremely loud and unruly, tossing food at one another and leaving it on the floor.... These teens clearly weren’t monsters, but they seemed to consider themselves exempt from public norms of behavior— as if they had begun to check out of mainstream society. What struck me most, though, was how fully the boys’ music — hard-edged rap, preaching bone-deep dislike of authority— provided them with a continuing soundtrack to their antisocial behavior”

What it might have asked is WHY blacks gravitate so readily to such values. Yeah, yeah -- they bin discriminated against -- I know. But I don’t believe it. They are just the same (or worse) in Africa itself -- look at the youthful thugs destroying Liberia at the moment -- and all of them have never known anything but black-rule.


posted by bussorah at 8:36 PM

 
YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST A LAWYER

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for Ten million bucks. This bookkeeper happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookeeper's temple, cocks it and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger.


posted by bussorah at 5:20 PM

 
WHY GWB ACTS SOCIALIST

"It pains me to say this, but the Republicans in Washington seemingly have forgotten who they are and why voters sent them to the capital in the first place. Even though we now have GOP control of the White House, the Senate and the House, the bloated $ 2.25 trillion federal government has grown more rapidly on President Bush's watch than it did under Clinton. What in the world is going on here? Aren't the Republicans supposed to be the fiscally conscientious, anti-big government party?"

It pains me too but at least I know why it’s happening: GWB is dead-scared of ending up like his daddy who ended up a one-term President despite HIS Iraq war. So he is trying to be all things to all men and capture Democrat as well as Republican votes.



posted by bussorah at 9:31 PM

 
MUCH TRUTH CAN BE SPOKEN IN JEST

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,

"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...

...O...o

...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?!?",
"Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles)

...o...O

I said (pointing to the small circle) "this is your butthole before prison, ..."


posted by bussorah at 5:30 PM

 
Interested Participant has some good posts up at the moment: abortion in Russia, doctor decapitated by an elevator door, U.S. Border Patrol not allowed to make arrests etc.
posted by bussorah at 10:39 AM

 
A SAVAGE DICTATOR DIES -- PEACEFULLY!!

Hooray! Idi Amin the brutal former dictator of Uganda is dead! What a pity he died in bed at age 80. We can thank the Saudis for that. Lucky for Amin that he subscribed to the religion of peace!

Amin called himself "a pure son of Africa," and he was much admired in Africa during his reign of terror. His bizarre and murderous eight years as president of Uganda were probably not the worst of the continent's military dictatorships. Rwanda and the Congo spring to mind, for instance. And Zimbabwe at the moment is very reminscent of the early Amin regime. On all the evidence so far there is no hope for anything like a civil society in Africa. Intervention by the USA and Europe will always be called for.


posted by bussorah at 5:17 PM

 
THE ONE REASON WHY THE DEATH PENALTY IS A BAD IDEA

"Since 1973, 111 people waiting execution on death row have been released because they are actually innocent. That means 111 could have been wrongly executed in our names. How many of the nearly 900 executed during these years have been innocent? We will never know for sure, though there is a long list of possibilities based on reporting by journalists and filings by attorneys.”


posted by bussorah at 5:24 PM

 
AN OLDIE BUT A GOLDIE

A major law firm recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please as a courtesy, don't eat any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised they would not.
A year goes by and finally the unthinkable happens; one of the secretaries is missing.
So the head of the Executive Committee calls them into a meeting and says, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you and your performance. However, sadly, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"
A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool!!! For one whole year we've been eating attorneys and no one has noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!"



posted by bussorah at 5:21 PM

 
THE TWO ROBBERS

The USA and the EU have finally agreed on something -- they are both going to continue ripping off their own consumers and poor farmers in Third World countries. What a disgrace! Neither rationality nor morality is evident in either of them. Neither have the guts to tell their own farmers to get a job that they are better at.



posted by bussorah at 5:25 PM

 
DEREGULATE MARRIAGE!

The uproar over homosexual marriage does tend to focus attention on why the government gets involved in the issue anyway. Wendy McElroy says marriage should be privatised. And if marriage were left to private contracts people might well sign tougher agreements than exist under family law today. So feminists would probably oppose it, especially as privatisation would undermine many justifications for State support of single parents.

The contract system was used for marriages in Ancient Egypt and their civilisation seems to have been pretty stable for a long time.


posted by bussorah at 7:12 PM

 
THE EUROPEANIZATION OF BRITAIN

Britain looks set to agree to the new EU "Constitution". So what is the EU constitution like?

Economist William A. Niskanen compares the US and EU constitutions: "A successful working constitution, like that of the US, is concise and provides a clear political and legal framework -- unlike the counterpart proposed for the EU... One sentence alone, for example, commits the Union to "work for a Europe of sustainable development based on balanced economic growth, with a social market economy aiming at full employment and social progress," a sentence that includes at least five ambiguous terms."

Peter Hitchens delivers a more polemical attack on the same EU constitution under the heading: "The New Soviet Union of Europe is upon us". I want to make your flesh creep, to frighten and perplex you. I can see no other way to alert this country and its people to the approaching end of a thousand years of history. We are about to be extinguished as an independent nation. We are about to lose the power to control our own destiny, to make and enforce our own laws.
The threat comes from a bundle of paper, from a tedious conference in that grey, foggy capital of dullness, Brussels."

posted by bussorah at 7:06 PM

 
NAUGHTY PRIESTS

Three priests went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and were exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom". As they were crossing an open area, a group of ladies came along from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, two of the priests covered their privates, but the third one covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the first two priests asked the third why he covered his face rather than his privates.
The third replied, "I do not know about you, but in my congregation, it is my face they would recognize."

posted by bussorah at 5:11 PM

 
A REALLY GOOD ONE

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until, one day, he comes across a beautiful Honda Gold Wing with a for sale sign on it. The bike seems even more beautiful than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolutely mint condition.

He immediately Buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, In the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he Reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and has her right there in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when He sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body", he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his motorcycle, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts: "All right, enough already, I'll do the dishes!



posted by bussorah at 10:41 PM

 
BUREAUCRACY

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told
the loan ould be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel
of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property
dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following
reply:


(actual letter)


"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and
presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:


(actual letter)


"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received.
I note that you wish to have title extended further back than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the
land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had
acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain.

The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery
made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus
Christ, the Son of God.

And God, as it is commonly accepted, created this world.
Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope the hell you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we please have the #$%@ loan?

The loan was approved.





posted by bussorah at 5:09 PM

 
MORE BETRAYALS OF CONSERVATISM BY GWB

Commercial war: "In the spring of 2002, Bush signed into law a witches-brew of protectionist legislation designed to stifle foreign trade in the name of free trade. ... Bush's justifications for these measures are not new. On the contrary, they are as old as the republic. All that is new is the effrontery of an administration that practices protectionism while boasting of its commitment to free markets and free trade."

"In recent weeks, President Bush has started to come in for the first meaningful criticism from mainstream conservatives during his presidency. While nascent, it could become the only real barrier to his re-election next year unless dealt with quickly... He continues to move left on domestic issues — especially the budget-busting prescription-drug-subsidy bill. Mr. Bush has also signed into law a campaign finance reform bill that most conservatives view as blatantly unconstitutional, endorsed an education bill written by Sen. Edward Kennedy, Massachusetts Democrat, and initiated more trade protectionism by any president since Nixon.”




posted by bussorah at 6:58 PM

 
CAN YOU STAND IT?



There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and
they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in
the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the
heat haze, a tree, off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher
upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy
nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke (Don Pedro). "ees a bacon tree!!!
We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the
prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the
sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend
quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying
Pepe.

"Pepe!!
Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run, amigo, run!! ees
not a Bacon Tree"...................................

.....
.....
......
......
.....
.....

..... 'It's a Ham Bush!'




posted by bussorah at 9:22 PM

 
PSYCHOLOGISTS AT WORK

An amusing story appears on page 106 (10.8 Education and Development) of Marvin Minsky's book "The Society of Mind" (Picador Edn 1988). The story relates to the psychologist Piaget's experiments on children concerning their understanding of “conservation of quantity” under different conditions:

“All this reminds me of a visit to my home from my friend Gilbert Voyat, who was then a student of Papert and Piaget and later became a distinguished child psychologist. On meeting our five-year-old twins, his eyes sparkled, and he quickly improvised some experiments in the kitchen. Gilbert engaged Julie first, planning to ask her about whether a potato would balance best on one, two, three or four toothpicks. First, in order to assess her general development, he began by performing the water jar experiment. The conversation went like this:

Gilbert: "Is there more water in this jar or in that jar?"

Julie: "It looks like there's more in that one. But you should ask my brother, Henry. He has conservation already."

Gilbert paled and fled.

Moral: Don't try to perform psychological experiments on the children of psychologists

posted by bussorah at 5:19 PM

 
PUBLIC TRANSPORT IS A HEAP OF NONSENSE

The Spectator says 'stay sane, avoid public transport'.

The same article says: "..Congestion on the roads costs Britain an estimated £10 billion a year in lost business. The £60 billion railway investment programme announced under the government’s ten-year transport plan would reduce road congestion by a mere 1 per cent, says John Dawson of the AA. Yet a small programme of road improvements targeting a few key bottlenecks could reduce inter-urban road congestion by 13 per cent. ‘Pound for pound, road improvements are in the order of 100 times more efficient in reducing road congestion than the rail programme." So much for the Greenie argument!


posted by bussorah at 7:45 PM

 
THE COULTER

An interesting article on Slate about the outspoken Ann Coulter and her latest book. Apparently, even some conservatives see her comments as over the top. Interestingly, however, one comment she made shortly after 9/11 -- that the way to stop Islamic terrorists was to to "invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." -- was much decried at the time for its crudity but seems to have come about anyway -- with American troops having done exactly what she said in Afghanistan and Iraq and Christian missionaries champing at the bit to go in there too.

And I fail to see what is wrong with defending JFK'S friend, Joe McCarthy. The Leftists made a demon out of McCarthy for suspecting them of having been Soviet collaborators but we now know (after the collapse of the Soviet Union) that lots of them WERE collaborating with the Soviets. McCarthy was right.

I guess I must be "outspoken" too. If telling it like it is counts as "outspoken" I think we need more of it.


posted by bussorah at 6:12 PM

 
DARWINIAN AWARDS FOR 2003

For those of you not familiar with the Darwin awards, they are awarded annually for the most extreme act of (usually terminal) stupidity. They are now in for 2003. Enjoy.

Some of these are actually oldies -- but definitely goldies

Firstly, the honourable mentions: The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

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A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.

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An American teenager was in hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

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A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)

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A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

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Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he would just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

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As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." ********* The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they were not available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

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Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

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HERE'S A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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And Finally - First Place - The 2003 Darwin Award Winner. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


posted by bussorah at 7:43 PM

 
AN OLDIE BUT WORTH REPEATING:

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids
in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have
survived, because...

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which
was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or
cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets or other safety gear

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bag, riding
in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted
the same.

We ate dripping sandwiches, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy pop
with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always
outside playing.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one
actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top
speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running
into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were
back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us all day and no one
minded.

We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99
channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones,
no personal computers, no Internet chat rooms. We had friends we went
outside and found.

We played elastics and street rounders, and sometimes that ball really
hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no
lawsuits. They were accidents. We learnt not to do the same thing again.

We had fights, punched each other hard and got black and blue we learned
to get over it.

We walked to friend's homes.

We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school, we didn't rely on mummy or
daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate live stuff, and
although we were told it would happen, we did not have very many eyes out,
nor did the live stuff live inside us forever.

We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.

Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem
solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of
innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and
responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.



posted by bussorah at 5:02 PM

 
GOP SOCIALISM BIG TIME

"The Bush administration has weighed in on the Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education appropriation bill being debated in Congress. Unfortunately, the administration's Statement of Policy on the bill shows how deeply it has embraced expansion of the welfare state. The statement is riddled with complaints about 'underfunded' programs and demands for 'full funding' of new 'initiatives.'"


posted by bussorah at 8:53 PM