Thoughts both serious and not

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BEING PRACTICAL

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a Chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers "Yes".



Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."



Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."



Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."



Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."



Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety; the works!"



Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."



Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes. Why do you ask, is there something I can help you with?"



Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to nominate your store as our Bridal Gift Registry."


posted by bussorah at 6:03 PM

 
I SHOULDN’T LAUGH

There are teachers, and then there are educators.


Lipstick in school:

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of year 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that
something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was
required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators.

posted by bussorah at 9:43 PM

 
TENNESSEE AGAIN:

Tennessee Highway Patrol under investigation: "Members of the Tennessee Highway Patrol are currently under an official state investigation after whistleblowers raised allegations of fraud inside the department. Law enforcement officers are claiming a THP officer has been building $300,000 houses while officially on- duty as a state trooper -- and they say he’s been doing it for years. Lt. Larry Parsley is better known to Volunteer Fans as the man who guards UT Football Coach Philip Fulmer during UT football games. But law enforcement officers in two counties now claim he’s tarnishing the reputation of the majority of THP officers who are committed to public safety, honesty and THP ethics. The worst part, say sources, was that THP leadership, including Captain Charles Laxton, were fully aware of what was going on."



posted by bussorah at 7:10 PM

 
Two Irishmen

This is a silly joke but it did make me laugh

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go to the bird section and Mick says to Paddy,"Dats Dem". The shopkeeper comes over and asks if he can help.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere", says Mick."Put dem in a pepper bag".

The shopkeeper does as asked and the two pay for the birds and leave.

They get into Mick's van and drive until they reach a cliff with a 300 foot drop.
"Dis looks loike a grand place," says Mick. He then takes the four birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'Splat!'
As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says "Fock Dat, is budgie jumping is too fockin dangerous for me..."

A few minutes later, Seamus approaches. He too has been to the petshop and he's carrying the familiar 'pepper bag'. He then pulls a parrot out of the bag and Paddy notices that in the other hand Seamus is carrying a gun.

"Watch this Paddy," he says, as he launches himself over the edge of the cliff.

Paddy watches as half way down Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is another 'Splat!' and he joins Mick at the bottom of the cliff.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "An' oim never troyin that parrotshooting noider..."

After a few minutes, Sean strolls up. He too has been to the petshop and walks up with his 'pepper bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag and launches himself off the cliff with the usual result.

Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Mick wit his budgie jumpin, den Seamus parrotshooting - and now you, - fockin' hengliding."


posted by bussorah at 7:38 PM

 
WHISTLEBLOWERS

I don’t normally agree with Salon but we badly need whistleblowers in any bureaucracy -- but the bureaucrats, of course, are very clever at penalizing it. Betrayal of the whistle-blowers: "Many federal whistle-blowers -- including the one who exposed the security flaws at U.S. nuclear plants -- have had their careers destroyed because of a glaring loophole in the law designed to protect them: If their security clearances are revoked, as frequently happens to whistle-blowers, the special federal agency that investigates their cases has no power to restore it -- and the federal appeals court that is their last recourse is a kangaroo court that almost never rules in their favor. Even if a whistle-blower is vindicated, the crucial security status is often not restored -- in effect ending a career."


posted by bussorah at 7:29 PM

 
SOCIALIST AMERICA

This article is a bit exaggerated but still has a lot of truth in it. Worth reading the whole thing

Excerpt:

“The people's republic of the United States of America: "I say this because this country has now fulfilled, to at least some degree, all of the recommendations that Karl Marx made for his proletarian dictatorship. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, do not fool yourselves. By Marx's own measure, we now live in a communist country. If you have any doubt about it, I will now show and prove it. I urge everyone to read The Manifesto, sometimes called The Communist Manifesto."


posted by bussorah at 5:51 PM

 
SELFISH SAVAGES

"Noble savages" who don't know their place in the weird world of the Left: "Environmentalists often cite native Americans as a model for protecting nature. The groups are working together to restore Maine's Penobscot River and oppose natural-gas exploration on Navajo lands. But just as the 1854 speech attributed to Chief Seattle of the Suquamish tribe ('We are a part of the earth and it is part of us') is now considered a myth, the collaboration of environmentalists and Indians has been tenuous at best. And today it's being tested, as some tribes assert their rights to exploit -- as well as preserve -- natural resources."



posted by bussorah at 5:27 PM

 
MAD MOTHER TERESA?

An amazing article on Mother Teresa by Christopher Hitchens. I think Hitchens probably goes a bit overboard in condemning her but I have always doubted that her extreme religious fanaticism was a good thing. I think the point that she glorified poverty rather than doing anything to alleviate it is pretty right.



posted by bussorah at 5:40 PM

 
LLAMAS, MAREMMAS AND PROTECTING SHEEP

A delightful story about Llamas protecting an injured farmer because they saw him as part of their flock. The fact that Llamas are now often used for flock protection reminds me of those wonderful Italian sheepdogs, the Maremmas. Maremmas look rather like sheep, identify closely with their flock and live among their flock. And they fiercely attack any wolves that come near their flock. But, unlike Llamas, I guess, they do not produce useful wool.


posted by bussorah at 6:20 PM

 
MAHATHIR IS WRONG BUT NOT STUPID

I guess people will be falling off their chairs to hear me saying this but I fear that Krugman was right about Malaysia’s Prime Minister Mahathir. Like it or not, the Islamic world is thoroughly anti-Jewish and to be taken seriously in the Islamic world, Mahathir had to say the anti-Jewish things he did. And the rest of his speech was a thoroughly Western diagnosis of what is wrong with the Islamic world. Mahathir does lead the world’s most prosperous non-oil-producing Islamic State so he has the potential to be listened to by other Muslims and they would be transformed in thoroughly desirable ways if they did. Krugman’s point that Mahathir is doing a balancing act is one that I have also made on this blog on September 4th.

posted by bussorah at 5:10 PM

 
KIND AND GENTLE NEW YORKERS?

New Yorkers congratulated themselves for the low level of looting and crime during the August 2003 blackout when compared with their 1977 blackout. The claim was that New Yorkers had suddenly become a kinder, gentler people. What a laugh!
It was better policing that made the difference: “Liberal criminologists also have a few things to learn from the city’s recent relative calm: policing keeps streets safe”



posted by bussorah at 6:50 PM

 
ROCKWELL ON THE PLEDGE

Rockwell seems foolishly extreme on some things but I think he is right here. Conservatives in other countries seem to get by quite well without such pledges

The latest baloney distracting the right from serious engagement in public affairs is the prospect that the Supreme Court may rule negatively on the phrase 'under God' in the pledge. For my part, I wouldn't care if the entire pledge were scrapped. It has nothing whatever to do with the history of America, and expresses no ideas that are distinctly American."


posted by bussorah at 5:38 PM

 
TENNESSEE AGAIN

"This column regularly criticizes Tennessee's low ranking for K-12 per pupil funding. Never again. Saturday at Cason Lane Academy, the state's education bureaucracy and local teachers showed why the national ranking of 48th is quite appropriate. And they showed why improving that ranking would not necessarily help our children. ... The education establishment prefers spin. ... Taxpayers have learned ... that the words 'accountability' and the 'state of Tennessee' don't credibly go together."


posted by bussorah at 5:38 PM

 
LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are.

Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for
old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the
places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.
but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do
before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things.

No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.
Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm
water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,fried
eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can
always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.

Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's
no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks
to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different.

A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city
guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice,
but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the
school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't
bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals
for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk
head and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at
home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't
even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to
wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break
real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about
the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake
He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's
6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get
onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Gail


posted by bussorah at 5:22 PM

 
New chemical element found: "Governmentium"

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert, however, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it.


posted by bussorah at 5:11 PM

 
LOVE THROUGH THE EYES OF CHILDREN

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails any more. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when
his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know
that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and
they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your chips without
making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before
giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you
still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like
that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
presents and listen"
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you
hate"
Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends
even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the
only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore,"
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me
to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all
day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes
and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come
out of you."
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's
gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean
it, you should say it a lot. People forget that."



posted by bussorah at 5:30 PM

 
There is a site (not quite a blog) called The New Conservative Revolution that seems to have some good stuff on it. Like many conservatives, he seems suspicious of Schwarzenegger’s amorality on sexual matters but I think that is simply modern. Republicans would stay out of office forever if they still insisted on the sexual restrictiveness of the past.


posted by bussorah at 5:44 PM

 
.THE SIMPSON CASE A-TYPICAL?

The article below argues that we should NOT let the O.J. Simpson case undermine our faith in American justice.

"Today, the Simpson case, oddly enough, is relevant to the war on terrorism and to civil liberties. Since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, many conservative lawyers and pundits have repeatedly raised the specter of the Simpson verdict to argue that America's civilian criminal justice system is broken -- and that consequently people accused of terrorist offenses ought to be tried before military tribunals."

The writer is one hell of an optimist. However, you cut it, the Simpson trial was a farce and it was far from alone in that. If the justice system muffed such a prominent case as the Simpson case, how bad must they be when they are not trying?

posted by bussorah at 5:15 PM

 
THE WISE BUDDHA

The following saying is said to be by the Buddha. From his emphasis on finding out the facts, it sounds to me that he must have been a conservative:

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."



posted by bussorah at 8:41 PM

 
UNORIGINAL WRITERS AND ARTISTS

Pathetic: Why are US writers and artists so down on the American dream? “More than anything, it seems that America is associated with success and achievement and pursuing a path towards improvement - all ideas that are thoroughly contentious nowadays..... It seems peculiar that when artists and critics believe they are being so radical, there is a bland consensus underpinning much of their dialogue and work. Perhaps the most radical thing today, considering the American effect, would be to outline the advances in medical research and biotechnology, in GM foods and communications. Or how the standard of living has improved year on year and how we live longer and healthier lives than ever before... How sad that we are living through times where those who think they are the most cutting edge are in many ways the most entrenched and conservative.”


posted by bussorah at 5:18 PM

 
What Would You Do?

You are the President of the United States.

Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at approximately 2:30 A.M.

The meteor is large enough to completely wipe France from the face of the earth forever.

France and the United Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could be sending are many that are being used to fight he war on terror overseas.

As the President, you must decide: Do you...

A) Stay up late on the night of the impact to watch the coverage live?
B) Tape it and watch it in the morning?


posted by bussorah at 5:38 PM

 
SOME REGULATIONS ARE LESS EQUAL THAN OTHERS

The “alternative medicine” freaks are up in arms now that the EU has trained its beady eye on them. The EU is taking the first steps towards ensuring that “natural” medicines such as vitamins, minerals and herbs are safe and effective. And the “alternative” brigade hate it. As they earnestly explain, many of them take such stuff in “a conscious effort to avoid being beholden to the multinational pharmaceutical industry and its ‘cure-all’ drugs – drugs that reap billions for the corporations and cost us our health.” If the EU really insisted that the stuff be shown as effective before it was sold, there would be a lot of empty shelves. The motto of the freaks seems to be: “Regulation is good for others but not for us”! Maybe they will learn something from it all.



posted by bussorah at 5:41 PM

 
Disgraced Republican President Richard Nixon was much more of an intellectual than is generally realized. He was the most well-read President since Wilson


posted by bussorah at 7:38 PM

 
The Vatican claims that condoms don’t stop AIDS. They should know -- given the number of queers in the Vatican.

Even if we accept that condoms are impermeable to the AIDS virus, what happens if the condom slips off? -- as they tend to do if the wearer is uncircumcised.



posted by bussorah at 8:14 PM

 
A good question: The USSR Renounced Socialism; Why is America Embracing It?


posted by bussorah at 8:02 PM

 
"UNCENSORED" COMMANDMENTS

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked
if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand,
stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off
thy neighbor's wife."


posted by bussorah at 9:56 PM

 
LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE SWINGERS!

Maybe I shouldn’t be amused but there is an article here saying that swingers are a harmless but persecuted minority whose activities would be praised if the participants were homosexual.


posted by bussorah at 7:16 PM

 
THE HERO OF THE AMERICAN LEFT AND HIS “COMPASSION”

"Cuba today is wracked with silent fear. In the wake of a massive spring crackdown on independent thought and action -- Castro has tossed nearly 80 dissidents in jail, executed three boat hijackers, shuttered home-based businesses, and closed at least one popular discotheque -- few feel secure. ... Black marketeers sweat the sales they need to survive. It’s as if Havana were the setting of a metropolitan hide and seek, with all the citizens holding their breath to keep from being found by Fidel. Amid such suffocation, nearly everyone must consider an immediate shift in course -- especially in Cuba, where an estimated half of all retail transactions take place in the black market."

posted by bussorah at 8:54 PM

 
Study Finds Direct Link Between Socioeconomics and Obesity

Translation: It’s mostly dummies who get fat.



posted by bussorah at 8:54 PM

 
“THE POOR” -- LARGELY A MYTH

Nobody needs to be poor in modern Western society and very few are

"The poor": "91 percent of those in the lowest 10 percent of households -- all of whom are officially poor -- own color TVs; 74 percent own microwave ovens; 55 percent own VCRs; 47 percent own clothes dryers; 42 percent own stereos; 23 percent own dishwashers; 21 percent own computers; and 19 percent own garbage disposals. When I grew up in the 1950s, only the wealthy owned color TVs, clothes dryers, stereos, dishwashers and disposals. These were all considered luxuries. We got by with black and white TVs, hanging our wet clothes on a line to dry, washing dishes by hand and throwing our potato peels in a pail instead of down the drain"


posted by bussorah at 5:27 PM

 
REAL REFUGEES OK

Robert Locke debunks the view that a more open 'immigration' policy would have saved Europe's Jews in WW2. He does however argue that there should have been a more generous REFUGEE policy. The lesson for today is that the people smuggling of illegal (usually economic) immigrants is the great enemy of humanitarian refugee policies. Locke says: " Bottom line: refugee policy should not be used as a humanitarian excuse to increase immigration. And it is an insult to the victims of the Holocaust to make them pawns of the cheap-labor lobby."



posted by bussorah at 5:07 PM

 
DANGEROUS BUREAUCRATIC MADNESS

And who would this be? "Fighting to send arms to Saddam, resisting post-9/11 attempts to toughen visa requirements, struggling to keep American parents from rescuing their kidnapped kids in foreign countries, doing everything it can to shut down the Iraqi democracy movement"

It’s The U.S. State Department!


posted by bussorah at 5:05 PM

 
MAN BITES DOG

The Guardian had a surprising blast of common-sense some time ago about the new wave of antisemitism that is sweeping the Left of the world today: "We should know better than to fall prey to what amounts to a latter-day socialism of fools. When August Bebel first coined that phrase a century ago, he was urging German workers not to be duped into hating Jews when their real foe was capitalism. Today's brand of anti-Israelism risks becoming a new socialism of fools - blaming the Jewish state for the Islamic world's troubles, rather than the vast, structural malaise afflicting that region."



posted by bussorah at 5:12 PM

 
I THINK WE ARE BEING HAD

I recently received an email to the following effect:

America is typically represented by an eagle.
Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages.
The following verse is from the Quran, (the Islamic Bible)

Quran (9:11) -
For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.
The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced;
for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
(Note the verse number)

My copy of the Holy Quran is printed in India under the distinguished auspices of the Nizam of Hyderabad and there is nothing in Sura 9 that remotely resembles the “quotation” above.


posted by bussorah at 5:47 PM

 
ON THE INEVITABLE DECLINE OF SOME SMALL TOWNS

I recently received the following brief email with the subject line: “Re: Small Towns”:

“Please refrain from comments about agriculture subsidies until you have some knowledge of the subject.”

I sent the following brief but factual reply:

“I grew up in a small town reliant on a heavily protected agricultural industry”



posted by bussorah at 5:46 PM