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Sunday, February 29, 2004
 
IKE FORESAW ACADEMIC ELITISM IN POLITICS

Ike was concerned about ALL undemocratic influences on government

President "Ike" Eisenhower's 1961 farewell address warnings about the dangers of potential domination by the military-industrial complex are well known, (although, as the dot points at the end of this show, modern interpreters often distort his actual viewpoint). Yet his warnings made at the same time about domination by an academic-scientific elite are almost unknown -- strangely enough:

"the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research....The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present-- and is gravely to be regarded. Yet, in holding scientific research and discovery in respect, as we should, we must also be alert to the equal and opposite danger that public policy could itself become the captive of a scientific-technological elite."

PID comments: "The rise of agenda driven science, eugenics in the early 20th century and greenhouse environmentalism in the early 21st century may be two examples of the capture of public policy by a 'scientific elite'. Would Ike agree? I don't know, but my guess is that C.S. Lewis who warned about the erosion of liberty and human dignity by 'scientism' would consider Ike's warning timely."



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Saturday, February 28, 2004
 
NAMES THAT FIT

"Opinion Journal" has done some amusing lists of fitting names recently. In case you missed them, here are some of the early ones: "British neurologist Lord Brain, Duke psychiatry professor John Looney, sociologist Dennis Wrong and Roger Williams University law professor Carl Bogus, who, as Glenn Reynolds has pointed out, has defended antigun historian Michael Bellesiles's bogus research". And more here.




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Friday, February 27, 2004
 
In 1923, Who Was:

(I don't know if this is true but it sounds good)

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days. Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them. The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper.
2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.
3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen. What became of him? He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The Moral: Screw work. Play golf.



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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
 
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

Just give them a parachute: "The Supreme Court said Monday that it would decide if the government can send immigrants back to countries that have not agreed to accept them, something their advocates contend threatens their safety. The high court is already looking at a related subject, whether illegal foreigners with no country to accept them can be detained indefinitely. That case involves imprisonment. The new appeal deals with the actual deportation. Lawyers for a refugee who has been ordered returned to Somalia argued that the U.S. government, in recent years, has started shipping immigrants to home countries that are in no position to take them."




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Tuesday, February 24, 2004
 
THAT NAUGHTY SPEEDING AND PARKING

Speed trap relativity: "I am not suggesting that everyone should ignore the posted speed limits. That wouldn't get any of us very far because State and local troopers just do their jobs. Getting philosophical with them about why we disagree with the government's enforced laws during a pull-over is not wise. They don't care what your excuses are; they just stop and ticket speeders. But for the sake of conversation, let's delve into why speed limits don't really accomplish what they set out to do."




Fighting for your rights and making a profit. "ParkingTicket.com [is] the first Internet company to help drivers contest parking tickets online..."




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Monday, February 23, 2004
 
KIDDY WINNERS

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little gir l replied, Then you ask him".


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead "


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." .. Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, Take all you want. God is watching the apples".



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Sunday, February 22, 2004
 
BLONDES ARE SMARTER!

Are blondes dumb? Steve Sailer has the answer:

Speaking very roughly, the blonder the country, the more Nobel Prizes it wins per capita. Northern European nations score well on IQ tests, although not quite as high as northeast Asian countries.

Of course, the dumb blonde jokes are aimed at blonde women (frequently by non-blonde women). And the vast majority of blondes are dyed.

Women who go through all the upkeep of being bottle blondes are upping the ante in the sexual attractiveness arms race. It's natural for other women to make nasty jokes about them.


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Saturday, February 21, 2004
 
Catholic Elementary School Test

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. You may need to know the Bible a little to get all the mistakes. It comes from a Catholic Elementary school test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following statements were written by children, not retouched or corrected. (ie: incorrect spelling).

a. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
b. Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
c. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
d. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
e. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
f. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
g. Moses led the Jews to the Red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
h. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert, Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
i. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
j. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
k. Moses died before he ever reached Canada . Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
l. The greates miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
m. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in bibical times.
n. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
o. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
p. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
q. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
r. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
s. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
t. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
u. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
v. The epistels were the wives of the apostals.
w. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
x. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.
y. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.



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Friday, February 20, 2004
 
AN AUSTRALIAN SUMMER

It's midsummer in Australia at the moment and this is what it is like

a.. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.
b.. Hot water comes out of both taps.
c.. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
d.. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.
e.. You discover that in February it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
f.. You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
g.. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.
h.. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.
i.. Your biggest bicycle crash fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the footpath and cook to death?"
j.. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
k.. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
l.. The cows are giving evaporated milk.
m.. The trees are whistling for the dogs.
n. while walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
o. you catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep during the night.


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Thursday, February 19, 2004
 
Desert Islands

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: Two Italian men and one Italian woman Two French men and one French woman Two German men and one German woman Two Greek men and one Greek woman Two English men and one English woman Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman Two Irish men and one Irish woman Two American men and one American woman

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred: One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman. The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island. The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions. The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor store/restaurant/laundry and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store. The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.

The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a cell phone so they could call 111 and get them all rescued off this forsaken deserted island in the middle of nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping...


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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
 
THE APPRECIATED GIFT

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600." The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can! recite the entire Bible. It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:
"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."


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COMPUTER SEX

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House," in French, is feminine-"la maison." "Pencil," in French, is masculine-"le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.



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Tuesday, February 17, 2004
 
SOME CHRONOLOGY

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . .. . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is .. . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.



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Monday, February 16, 2004
 
THE WILD WEST AS A MYTH

Pioneer Americans were mostly good guys who worked hard for their living

The "Wild West" was not the violent place Hollywood and gun control advocates imagine: "Excluding the Indian wars of the mid to late 19th century which were lopsided affairs conducted by the United States government, we find that the allegedly inherent violence of the West was not noticeably any greater than that of points east."






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Sunday, February 15, 2004
 
FACE IT


Jennifer Dawn Langston, 27, of Cabot, Penn., admits she had been
drinking and was talking on the phone while driving when she crashed
and killed a man and left his wife in a permanent coma. As a condition
of her probation, she is required to keep photos of the couple in her
wallet at all times. But Langston balked at the picture Glenn Clark's
family provided her: it shows him lying dead in his coffin.

Tough, says Butler County Judge George Hancher; she must carry the photo "as
provided" by the family. "That's where she put him," said Clark's
mother. "It's what I don't want her to forget." Mark Bergstrom,
executive director of the Pennsylvania Commission on Sentencing, says
"Certain cases just seem to cry out" for such "shaming," but such a
sentence is rare in the state. ...Which is the real shame.

Support for the criminal here




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Saturday, February 14, 2004
 
DARWIN DAY?

Some Western atheists and agnostics say they feel a need for a "Darwin Day" to help combat creationism. They don't know how lucky they are. In many Muslim countries, even scientists who take a Darwinist view can face prison, or death, for propagating agnosticism or atheism.




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Friday, February 13, 2004
 
FANTASIZING MUSLIMS

Deadly Islamic fantasies: "It is to our credit as a nation, a society, and a culture, that Americans instantly grasped the true meaning of 9/11. We understood, as we had not fully grasped before, that we were the declared enemy in an Islamic fantasy... Our efforts to communicate our intent, our good will, our desire for peace to those in the Middle East are wasted on a people so indoctrinated with hatred for the West, that anything we say will be dismissed... For these fantasists, it is not merely Osama bin Laden, the ayatollahs of Iran, or the Palestinian leaders calling upon them, but God himself. This is the fantasy of the Islamic Jihad or Holy War. The Muslims---and we cannot tell who among them is with us or against us---have become our enemies and the enemies of Western civilization. Harris points out that "in the fantasy ideology of radical Islam, suicide plays an absolutely indispensable role. It is not a means to an end but the end in itself. Seen through the distorting prism of radical Islam, the act of suicide is transformed into an act of martyrdom... Thus, as this new century begins to take shape, we confront an enemy for whom death not only holds no fear, but is embraced. It explains the bomber who kills innocent men, women and children in an Israeli restaurant. The bomber in Bali and the attacks on the United Nations and Red Cross headquarters in Baghdad. It explains 9-11.... It tells us that we must find, capture or kill the cancer loose in the world called al Qaeda"




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Thursday, February 12, 2004
 
RELIGION

Today's post is a brief graphical summary of all the world's religions. Click here. (May take half a minute to load).



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Wednesday, February 11, 2004
 
ONLY HERPES IS FOREVER: JOBS ARE CERTAINLY NOT

Changing jobs is part of life. Even Japan has given up on lifetime employment

The bogeyman of lost jobs: "What the manufacturing lobby fails to realize is that the excess jobs will be shed from the industry, regardless of the wants and desires of the workers. The forces of economics, much like the wind and water, cannot be ignored. Productivity will continue to increase so long as companies want to compete in the open marketplace."




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GO SWITZERLAND!

Swiss direct democracy beats the Swiss elites. And human rights treaties be damned if they protect vicious criminals

Still the sanest part of Europe: "Switzerland will jail for life sex offenders and violent criminals who are deemed incapable of reform under a change to the law Swiss voters approved in a referendum yesterday. The measure, which was opposed by the country's coalition government, was approved by about 54 percent of voters in a referendum called after supporters gathered the needed 100,000 signatures to stage the ballot. Critics fear the new law, which will take the form of a constitutional amendment to be prepared by parliament, could contravene international human rights treaties. Under the proposal, violent criminals or sex offenders who are considered very dangerous to society will be examined on conviction by two independent psychiatrists."




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Sunday, February 08, 2004
 
INSIDER TRADING ON THE STOCKMARKET IS GOOD

Even if it is a crime in most places

Mathematician John Paulos argues in favour of legalising insider trading: "It's natural to take an indignant stance toward the corporate fraud and excesses that have dominated business news the last couple of years. This is especially so if you've lost your shirt on a stock like WorldCom, as I unfortunately did. Yet an elementary probability puzzle suggests that one argument against insider trading and stock manipulation--that it costs investors money--is not quite as compelling as it seems."




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Saturday, February 07, 2004
 
THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

Dear Mr. Baker,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day

Cecelia



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ONE FOR THE OLDIES

Some of the artists from the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate the aging baby boomers. This is good news for those feeling a little older and missing those great old tunes . . .

Herman's Hermits
MRS. BROWN, YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY WALKER"

The Bee Gees
"HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HIP"

Bobby Darin
"SPLISH, SPLASH, I WAS HAVIN' A FLASH"

Ringo Starr
"I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPENDS"


Roberta Flack
"THE FIRST TIME EVER I FORGOT YOUR FACE"

Johnny Nash
"I CAN'T SEE CLEARLY NOW"

Paul Simon
"FIFTY WAYS TO LOSE YOUR LIVER"

Commodores
"ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES TO THE BATHROOM"

Marvin Gaye
"I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPE NUTS"

Procol Harem
"A WHITER SHADE OF HAIR"

Leo Sayer
"YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE NAPPING"

The Temptations
"PAPA'S GOT A KIDNEY STONE"

ABBA
"DENTURE QUEEN"





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Friday, February 06, 2004
 
SPORTS COMMENTATOR WISDOM


1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event:
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during
her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse
and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.."


3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly
unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the
one in front of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even
some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again."

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice,
the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford
crew."

9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's
like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing
so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls
and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said !!!



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Thursday, February 05, 2004
 
A Teacher's Story

Sorry to be a bit mushy today

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of
school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked
at her students and said that she loved them all the same However, that
was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was
a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he
did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy
and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be
unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in
marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting
a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each
child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when
she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready
laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be
around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well
liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal
illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him
He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his
home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show
much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes
sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of
herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents,
wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His
present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a

grocery bag Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the
other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a
rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that
was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter
when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing
some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day
just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my
Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic.
Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular
attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come
alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the
year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and,
despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy
became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her
that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote
that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still
the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things
had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would
soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.
Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had
in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he
explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a
little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and
favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer...
The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter
early that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be
married. he explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was
wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place
that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet,
the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was
wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their
last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's
ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for* believing in me. Thank you so much for
making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said,
"Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I
could make adifference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."


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Wednesday, February 04, 2004
 
FOREIGN INVESTMENT IS GOOD

Whether it is Americans investing abroad or people from abroad investing in America

Capital exports and free trade: "The benefits of the division of labor are widely acknowledged. Even the opponent of the market economy recognizes the fact that the coordination of productive efforts yields material benefits for all parties involved. But only the economists are intellectually consistent enough to draw all the necessary political implications from this insight.... Real wage rates in Great Britain constantly increased in the very period in which the country exported capital all over the world... The only relevant question is how free trade stands up to its only logical alternative: government intervention. Can we make ourselves better off by letting government prevent capital from crossing borders? That is the only relevant question, and the answer is in the negative.... No western country benefits more from capital imports than the U.S. Discouraging these foreign investments means reducing American wage rates."




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Tuesday, February 03, 2004
 
A SPENDING CUT AT LAST?

Sounds like window-dressing to me but good if it happens: President Bush plans to increase efforts to reduce improper government spending and will recommend the elimination of about one dozen low-performing federal programs in his fiscal 2005 budget proposal to be released today. Clay Johnson III, deputy director for management at the Office of Management and Budget, said the government could save $100 billion over 10 years by whittling down 'erroneous' payments by federal agencies."




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Monday, February 02, 2004
 
THE MAN THE LEFT LOVED TO HATE

Robert Conquest constantly blew the whistle on the horrors of the Soviet system during the Cold-war era and was uniformly derided by the Left for doing so. “Gross exaggeration”, they cried. After the fall of the Soviets, he had the last laugh, however. Even in the NYT he was eventually called "The Man Who was Right" because his accounts are now known to have been underestimates if anything.

There is an excellent interview with him here about centralisation of power and what we can learn from the Soviet disaster. Just one excerpt: "Rather than a Bolshevik-type revolution, what endangers us now is an evolution toward centralism by slow degrees. We're getting a bit of that in Europe today, where the European Union bureaucracy in Brussels is absolutely frightful and intervening in all sorts of tiny matters... We are not really conscious of it, partly because a large section of the intelligentsia insists "these ideas are right, all we need now is to have government enforce them." This is a very primitive notion, a precritical notion. This is a serious problem in academe, more so than in the population as a whole. The population as a whole may not have very clear ideas, but they have much better instincts. Although they want the state to do things, they don't want to be interfered with"


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Sunday, February 01, 2004
 
ANTI-GUN NUTS

Results don't matter to anti-gun nuts: "For nearly 30 years, the D.C. government has conducted a public policy experiment based on the theory that if you deprive citizens of their constitutional right to keep and bear arms, you'll reduce crime. Two weeks ago, federal district court judge Reggie Walton, a George W. Bush appointee, ruled that that experiment should continue. In his decision in Seegars v. Ashcroft, et al., Judge Walton rejected a Second Amendment challenge to the District's comprehensive gun ban. Of course, Judge Walton is under no illusions that depriving citizens of their right to keep and bear arms actually results in a safer city. Nor, interestingly enough, is the D.C. government attorney defending the ban in Seegars."



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Thoughts both serious and not

For some serious thoughts about our strange systems of justice, see HERE



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