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HAPPY NEW YEAR .......in English!

koll sana w enta taeb....in Arabic!
FELIÇ ANY NOU......in Catalan!
Xin Nian Kuai Le....in Chinese !
Felican Novan Jaron....in Esparanto!
Bonne Annee....in French!
Bo Nadal e Feliz Aninovo....in Galician!
Prosit Neujahr....in German!
Kenourios Chronos...in Greek!
Boldog Ooy Ayvet...in Hungarian!
Selamat Tahun Baru....in Indonesian!
Felice anno nuovo....in Italian!
Akimashite Omedetto Gozaimasu....in Japanese!
Saleh now ra tabrik migouyam...in Persian !
Szczesliwego Nowego Roku...in Polish !
Feliz Ano Novo.....in Portugese!
AN NOU FERICIT.....in Romanian !
S Novim Godom....in Russian!
Feliz Ano ~Nuevo.....in Spanish!
GOTT NYTT ÅR! /Gott nytt år!.....in Swedish !
Naya Saal Mubbarak Ho....in Urdu!






THE NEWS

Give peace a makeover: "Cindy Sheehan has blamed the media for retarding the peace movement in the United States. But according to 'The Babe Theory of Political Movements,' which Sheehan should study closely, the peace movement has a problem: it's ugly. The media doesn't forgive ugly. If Sheehan wants to give peace a chance, she'll need to give it a makeover. A disheveled woman with leathery skin and a dopey inflection is not going to get the attention she craves."


I love the last sentence of this report: "Would you pay $175 for a pound of coffee beans which had passed through the backside of a furry mammal in Indonesia? . . . Kopi Luwak beans from Indonesia are rare and expensive, thanks to a unique taste and aroma enhanced by the digestive system of palm civets, nocturnal tree-climbing creatures about the size of a large house cat. . . . Despite being carnivorous, civets eat ripe coffee cherries for treats. The coffee beans, which are found inside of the cherries, remain intact after passing through the animal. Civet droppings are found on the forest floor near coffee plantations. Once carefully cleaned and roasted, the beans are sold to specialty buyers. . . . So far, most of the orders have been from California".


New mum thought baby was kebab: "A woman rushed to hospital with tummy trouble, fearing she had eaten a dodgy kebab, was shocked to give birth instead, a British newspaper reported today. Helen Smitham, 25, of Distington in northwest England, had no idea she was pregnant when she complained of feeling a bit rough - with an iffy kebab thought to blame. Her mother rushed her to the nearby West Cumberland Hospital where she gave birth so quickly that doctors did not even have time to tell her she was expecting. Her baby son Deaton was born on December 24 weighing four pounds and 11 ounces (2.1kg) said The Sun, Britain's biggest-selling daily. "I had absolutely no idea," a stunned Ms Smitham said. "When I had stomach pains I thought it was the kebab. At the hospital there was no time for the doctors to see me before it all happened."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:21 PM

 


The Differences Between Men And Women

NICKNAMES:
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

DINING OUT:
And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





SHEEEET!









THE NEWS

Santa and Frostie to talk trade: "Santa Claus and his Russian counterpart Grandfather Frost are to hold a meeting on cross-border trade and travel on Estonia's frontier with Russia, officials said yesterday. "The event, called Christmas without Borders, will bring together Santa Claus and Grandfather Frost at the Estonia-Russian border crossing in Narva on Wednesday," Liis Plakk, spokeswoman for the Estonian Tax and Customs Department, said. "This meeting of goodwill is a sign by the Estonian and Russian customs authorities to pledge further cooperation in the new year to simplify border crossings in order to cope with the increasing volume of traffic and trade across the EU's new eastern border," she said. Estonia, a former Soviet republic, is one of the 10 newest members of the European Union. Claus and Frost will meet on the Friendship Bridge in Narva, 215km east of the Estonian capital, Tallinn. Both long-bearded gentlemen, one dressed in red and the other in white, will deliver speeches on the bridge and then dine together. The meeting is organised by the customs departments of Estonia and Russia as well as by the Association of Estonian International Road Carriers, whose business depends on the speed and simplicity of border crossings".




Austria is not amused: "Spoof posters depicting Queen Elizabeth II having sex with the US and French presidents and displayed across Vienna are causing embarrassment just days ahead of Austria assuming the EU presidency. The images showed two naked female models wearing masks of George W. Bush and the Queen, and a male model with a President Jacques Chirac mask, positioned as if they were having sex. Chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel appealed to the artists to withdraw the images, according to a spokeswoman quoted by the APA news agency. Part of a series called "euroPART" and created by artists from all 25 member countries of the European Union, the posters were meant to "reflect on the different social, historical and political developments in Europe", said art project 25peaces, which commissioned the posters. The project, 150 images only three of which had sexual overtones, caused uproar in the media and among politicians. The tabloid Kronen-Zeitung, read by half of Austria's population, called for immediate removal of the "porno posters" from 400 billboards in prominent places across the city.


Germany: Letter carriers taught dog psychology: "The German post office has started giving mail workers lessons in canine psychology. Official say the number of dog attacks on postmen this Xmas were the lowest in 10 years after the lessons. Deutsche Post spokeswoman Sylvia Blesing said: "The number of attacks is dropping, in some places by as much as half. The reduction began after we starting teaching our postal workers how dogs think. We tell them not to run away if they see a dog coming and how to react in a dangerous situation." The German post office has sent around 80,000 of its postmen and women on the courses, first introduced in 2001, to learn how to psychoanalyse dogs and how to deal with them."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:51 PM

 


DOGGY WISDOM

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself.
-Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because dog food is up to $2.00 a can. That's almost $14.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.
-Anon







THE NEWS

Briton crawls miles for love: "A British man is giving a whole new meaning to begging to be loved as he set off on a 55-mile (88.5km) crawl on his hands and knees to find a partner. With a sign saying "Could you Love Me?" strapped to his back and 18 boxes of chocolates trailing behind him on string tied to his wrists and ankles, Mark McGowan began his unusual quest to find a girlfriend. His route will take him from the site of the Tabard Inn, in Southwark, south London, to Canterbury Cathedral, following the pilgrims' trail made famous in 14th century author Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. The 37-year-old performance artist, who said he is also hoping to raise awareness of people left lonely and isolated during the festive period, is hoping to complete the back-breaking task within 30 days. "I can remember one Christmas I wasn't in a relationship and didn't want to spend it with my family," McGowan said. "I ended up cooking two fish fingers. I'm sure a lot of people have had that experience." "Some people can spend Christmas in utter desperation and misery and find it difficult to cope with. I hope this encourages people to maybe invite someone over."


Whooping cough makes resurgence: "Pertussis, the highly contagious disease also known as whooping cough, has become a growing problem in adolescents in recent years despite its history as primarily a disease of infants and young children, federal data show. 'Even though the highest rate of pertussis is still among children under 6 months of age, the highest proportion of cases is now among adolescents,' said Dr. Amanda Cohn, an epidemic intelligence service officer for the Atlanta-based U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Dr. Cohn is one of the authors of a report titled 'Pertussis -- United States, 2001-2003,' published in the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report that was released last week. The study showed that reported cases of pertussis increased from a historic low of 1,010 in 1976 to 11,647 cases in 2003. 'A large increase in reported cases has occurred among adolescents' as vaccinations they received as young children have lost effectiveness, the authors wrote."


Popular book: "A tiny publisher has scored its second Christmas No 1 in three years with a bestseller that had an initial print run of only 2,500. After topping the 2003 charts with Lynne Truss's Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Profile Books, which has 16 staff, has had another unlikely success with Does Anything Eat Wasps?, a compendium of scientific curiosities that was named yesterday by the online bookshop Amazon.co.uk as its most popular Christmas order" When the collection of questions and answers from New Scientist magazine's Last Word column was published in November, it stirred little interest from booksellers. Nine reprints later, more than 350,000 copies have been sold.


Chirac fails to have his way on Da Vinci casting couch: "President Chirac was the butt of fresh jokes yesterday after it emerged that he had tried to place one of his daughter's friends in a leading role in the film The Da Vinci Code. The President also requested a bigger fee for Jean Reno, the French actor who is cast as the stubborn Gallic detective Bezu Fache in the film, according to Ron Howard, the director. "That was hilarious," Mr Howard said. "Fortunately, the deal was already closed." .... Under the headline "Chirac, Veni, Vidi, Da Vinci", the satirical weekly Le Canard EnchaŒn‚ said that the President had been rebuffed by the film makers, just as he had been rejected by the French electorate over the referendum on the European constitution".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 7:27 PM

 


Kofi Annan's New Year's Resolutions for the UN

Be brave -- ask US for more money.

Salt and pepper beard more.

Apply for US citizenship.

Lose weight -- no more delicious McDonald's cultural hegemony!

Bad-mouth US in front of Middle Eastern diplomats more.

Daily affirmation: "I am not the tool of the world's sole superpower!"

Make the UN more bureaucratic.

Write resolution to write more resolutions condemning the rogue state of Luxembourg.

Talk to US President more in broader terms - "African People Hungry," "Arabs Hate You," "Germany no likee war. Now." Perhaps speak slower.

Finally count out Third World dues change jar.

Resolve to cut the word "Secretary" from title. "General Annan" catchier.

Change name of UN Security Council to either "THE STAR CHAMBER", or "THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN", or "THE GUNS AND MISSILES CLUB".

Switch lame blue helmets of peacekeeping forces to ninja masks.

Make sure diplomatic immunity applies to downloading illegal nude photos of that smoking broad Condi.






THE NEWS

Device helps women pee standing up: "A physically challenging feat - women peeing while standing up - is now easily achieved thanks to a funnel-like device, its manufacturer claims. Brisbane-based company WhizBiz today said "The Whiz" fits snugly against the body to enable women to "take a stand" like their male counterparts and avoid smelly public toilets and long queues. Invented two years ago in the United Kingdom, The Whiz is coated in an anti-bacterial agent so that it does not have to be cleaned and is reusable, WhizBiz spokesman Lachie Campbell said. "It is coated with a high-tech plasma film developed by the British Army which repels fluid meaning women can pee, flick once to dry and stuff it in their handbag," Mr Campbell said."


Shorter glasses lead to bigger drinks: "People pour more alcohol into short, wide glasses than into tall, narrow ones that hold the same amount of liquid, a study has found. The research, published in the Dec. 24 issue of the British Medical Journal, found that even professional bartenders pour more into short, wide "tumblers" than into "highball" glasses. The researchers suggested the effect might be related to the fact that people wrongly see tall glasses as holding more liquid, without taking into account the width. "People focus their pouring attention on the height of the liquid they are pouring and insufficiently compensate for its width," said Koert van Ittersum of the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta, Ga., one of the researchers. The study, involving 198 college students and 86 bartenders from a large U.S. city, found that people pour between 20 percent and 30 percent more into short, wide glasses".


Good old vitamin D stops cancer!: "A large daily dose of vitamin D can lower the risk of developing common cancers by as much as 50%, scientists said yesterday. Researchers found the natural form of the vitamin, known as D3, can reduce the chances of developing breast, ovarian and colon cancer, as well as others. Taking 1000 international units (0.025mg) of the vitamin each day could halve an individual's cancer risk, they said. Vitamin D is normally produced in the skin by the action of sunlight but is also obtained from certain foods. Dietary sources are limited, however. A glass of milk, for instance, contains only 100 IU of the vitamin. The team of US researchers carried out a systematic review of 63 studies, looking at the relationship between blood levels of vitamin D and cancer risk. The papers, published worldwide between 1966 and 2004, included 30 investigations of colon cancer, 13 of breast cancer, 26 of prostate cancer and seven of ovarian cancer. Their analysis, published in the American Journal of Public Health, showed that, for at least some cancers, the vitamin D factor could not be ignored... However, the team warned taking high doses of vitamin D - more than 2000 IU a day (0.05mg) - could cause serious damage to the liver and kidneys. Excess Vitamin D is stored in the liver, where it can promote dangerously high levels of calcium uptake.""


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:38 PM

 


THOUGHTS ABOUT CHRISTMAS

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'"
- - - Dave Barry "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...
- - - Berke Breathed

Let Us Keep Christmas
Whatever else be lost among the years,
Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing;
Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,
Let us hold close one day, remembering
It's poignant meaning for the hearts of men.
Let us get back our childlike faith again.
- - - Grace Noll Crowell

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
- - - Charles Dickens

I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.
- - - Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol"

May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope;
The spirit of Christmas which is peace;
The heart of Christmas which is love.
- - - Ada V. Hendricks

Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
- - - Lenore Hershey

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
- - - Kin Hubbard

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat,
Please to put a penny in an old man's hat;
If you haven't got a penny a ha'penny will do,
If you haven't got a ha'penny, God bless you.
- - - Mother Goose

Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
- - - Ogden Nash

We consider Christmas as the encounter, the great encounter, the historical encounter, the decisive encounter, between God and mankind. He who has faith knows this truly; let him rejoice.
- - - Pope Paul VI "Christmas address 23 Dec 65"

Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine;
Love was born at Christmas;
Star and angels gave the sign.
- - - Christina Rossetti

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
- - - Bart Simpson "The Simpsons" 1989

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke

At Christmas I no more desire a rose
Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
But like of each thing that in season grows.
- - - William Shakespeare "Love's Labour's Lost"

Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
- - - Alexander Smith

The time draws near the birth of Christ;
The moon is hid; the night is still;
The Christmas bells from hill to hill
Answer each other in the mist.
- - - Alfred, Lord Tennyson "In Memoriam"

Christmas is here:
Winds whistle shrill,
Icy and chill.
Little care we;
Little we fear
Weather without,
Sheltered about
The Mahogany Tree.
- - - William Makepeace Thackeray "The Mahogany Tree"


At Christmas play and make good cheer,
For Christmas comes but once a year.
- - - Thomas Tusser "The Farmer's Daily Diet






THE NEWS



Soft-hearted beast: "He may be the newly crowned world heavyweight champion but Nikolay Valuev, at 2.13 metres (7 feet) tall and 147kg (24 stone) insists that he's a big softy at heart. "I'm really not a beast," said the Russian fighter , today. "I'm a very calm person. I even used to write poetry." Valuev took John Ruiz's WBA heavyweight world title on points in a controversial fight in Berlin last weekend. But the man dubbed the "Beast from the East" has shrugged off the row and been feted as a hero in his native St Petersburg. "What I like about boxing is the feeling of danger, all that adrenaline. I don't get enough of it in my normal life," he said... Valuev, the first Russian heavyweight world champion, as well as the tallest and heaviest, now wants to inspire more youngsters to take up the sport. The Nikolay Valuev Boxing School will take in street kids, young drug addicts and other underprivileged children, he said."





Comeback for swimming briefs among Aussie men: "The skimpy swimming brief, or "Budgy smuggler", is becoming more popular among Australian men, a manufacturer of the cheeky swimwear claims. In a not-so-surprising result, a "poll" conducted by swimwear maker Budgy Smuggler says Australian blokes are re-embracing its skintight product with the misspelt name. The poll, released in a statement today, was conducted at Sydney's world-famous Bondi Beach. The company did not state how many people were surveyed but claimed 43 per cent of men responded that they would feel comfortable wearing briefs at the beach this summer. This was higher than last year's figure of 17 per cent, Budgy Smuggler said".





Nazi past remembered: "When World Cup soccer fans tumble out of Nuremberg's trains and trams next year, they will be confronted by an extraordinary sight: 23 English-language information stands telling them in detail of the city's Nazi past... The World Cup stadium in which England will play Trinidad and Tobago on June 15 is set in the middle of the huge complex where Adolf Hitler staged his torch-lit rallies. Fans will walk down the 2km road, Grosse Strasse, where more than 100,000 Hitler Youth marched before shouting allegiance to their Fuhrer. The granite street is so broad that US planes were able to land there after the war.... While other German cities sweep their Third Reich history under the carpet, Nuremberg is rebranding itself as a place determined to face up to its past. "We took a long, hard look at the things for which Nuremberg is famous and it boils down to the medieval architecture, the Christmas market, the painter Albrecht Durer and, well, the Nazis," Dr Maly said. So the football supporters will be treated, as they wander across Hitler's parade ground, to a potted history of Julius Streicher, one of the leading ideologists of National Socialism and a native son of Nuremberg".




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:34 PM

 


Quotes About Santa:

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Black

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.- Victor Borge

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark. - Dick Gregory

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? - Arlo Guthrie

I played Santa Claus many times, and if you don't believe it, check out the divorce settlements awarded my wives.- Groucho Marx "The Groucho Phile"





IF SANTA MISSED YOU ....







THE NEWS

Help! My girlfriend has swallowed her phone: "It was a conversation stopper! A lovers' dispute over a mobile phone took a serious turn when the woman ended the spat by trying to swallow the phone whole. Police in Blue Springs, Missouri said they received a call at 4.52 am from a man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a mobile phone lodged in her throat. "He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," said Detective Sergeant Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it."


Man sets himself alight over ex-girlfriend: "A German man used a crowbar on Christmas Eve to break into the apartment of his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend, poured paint thinner over his head and then set himself on fire, police in Siegburg said overnight. The new boyfriend, 25, survived the fiery suicide attack by jumping out a window, breaking his arm in the fall from the second storey. The woman, 27, escaped the fire that engulfed the flat by reaching a balcony. The fire brigade later rescued her. The ex-boyfriend, a 27-year-old man from the nearby city of Bonn in western Germany, was killed in the fire. The fire sent smoke pouring through the entire three-storey building, trapping residents on the top floor, several of whom suffered from smoke inhalation. Five people were treated in hospital for injuries.


Santa is real: "A mystery Santa Claus in Birmingham brought the Christmas spirit to several motorists who not only found a parking ticket on their windscreen but also a Christmas card and 30 pounds ($71) in cash to pay the fine, press reports said. Caroline Howard, 27, said the card read, "Don't let this ticket spoil your Christmas - here's 30 to pay it off." It was signed: "Merry Christmas, parking ticket Santa" and addressed to "Christmas ticketing victim number 14", suggesting that the mystery benefactor had spent at least 420 pounds ($998) in paying off tickets. "At first I thought it was a joke and kept looking around for the person who had left it there," Howard said, quoted by the Daily Express. "When I couldn't see anyone, I was shocked but really happy".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:15 PM

 


SOUNDS A GOOD IDEA FOR DEALING WITH TELEMARKETERS:

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?" This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?" The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."

I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case. I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody.

At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.





THE NEWS



Fat soldiers now OK: "Australia's military may soon be led by overweight officers with poor eyesight and asthma under a radical proposal to tackle a recruitment crisis within the Defence Force. The army, navy and airforce are considering plans to relax eyesight and weight criteria for officer recruits in an effort to fill recruitment quotas and accept more of the 10 per cent of applicants who fail on health grounds. The chiefs of Australia's three military services have ordered a review of the once-strict eligibility criteria in the face of falling numbers of recruit applications and government moves to expand the size of the Defence Force amid current global instability".


UK: Santa fights off yobs with tree: "A town centre Santa has been hailed as a hero after fighting off a gang of thugs with his Christmas tree. Santa, otherwise known as Malky Watret, was handing out presents to children in Paisley's indoor shopping centre when he was targeted by a small mob. He was set upon by about seven youths who knocked him down with a shopping trolley in front of horrified shoppers. But he jumped up and chased them off by wielding an artificial 5ft tree before security guards intervened."


Two penises!: "A zebra shark that has so eagerly been wooing his female tank mate that she needed time to heal her wounds was moved from a Swedish zoo to give him time to "mature". "Our two zebra sharks have entered their teens and their hormones appear to be out of control. Linus (the male shark) has been very attentive to Lina (the female) ... She is suffering from sores on her tail fin and needs time to heal," Jan Westin, head of the Universeum zoo in the southwestern Swedish city of Gothenburg, told AFP. Linus, a 2.4m zebra shark, or Stegostoma fasciatum, was sent to the aquarium at the Kolmaarden zoo south of Stockhom, where he will stay for a year to "mature and learn how to treat a lady", Westin said. When zebra sharks mate, the male bites the female on her tail, forcing her to sink to the bottom where he anchors himself to her by biting her pectoral fin before inserting one of his two penises. Linus has so far failed to complete the mating process, but has continued to snap at his mate's tail".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 7:45 AM

 


Dog's Rules For Christmas

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog cuddles.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know: Don't pee on the tree... Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree... Mind your tail when you are near the tree... If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't trip them open... And Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans. Don't eat off the buffet table. Beg for goodies subtly. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your spot on the sofa -- they don't know any better. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach unless you can get away with it...

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important) Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house. Be nice to the kiddies. Turn on your charm big time.

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DO NOT BITE HIM!!!




SILVIO BERLUSCONI (ITALIAN PM) MAKING SURE IT IS STILL THERE








THE NEWS

Prince Charles eyes King George: "Prince Charles has discussed rejecting the title King Charles III when he accedes to the throne because of its associations with Britain's bloody past, Saturday's Times newspaper said. "There have been many conversations with the Prince about this. It is an assumption among us all that it will happen," one of two unnamed "trusted friends" told the daily. The other was quoted as saying: "They (the Royal Family) will decide at the time, but he has talked about George." Prince Charles - whose full name is Charles Philip Arthur George - is said to favour the title George VII when he takes over from his mother, the current Queen Elizabeth II. George VI, who died in 1952, was the queen's father who took over unexpectedly after his brother Edward VIII adbicated over his relationship with an American divorcee. The Times said the move away from Charles stems from its associations with Charles I, who was beheaded in 1649 following the English Civil War at the start of Oliver Cromwell's short-lived republic".




London Olympics 'a mistake': "A leading official from the International Olympic Committee has suggested London only won the bid to host the 2012 Olympic Games because a member pressed the wrong button at the secret Singapore ballot last July. The blunder meant that Paris, rather than Madrid, went through to the final round against London, when the Spanish capital had been widely recognised as the greatest one-on-one threat to the now 2012 host city. The Times in London reports today that Lambis Nikolaou, of Greece, is widley thought to be the offending button pusher".



'Fiancee' actually a man: "An Egyptian man discovered on his wedding day that his fiancee of three years was a man who had been concealing his identity behind a veil. The 26-year-old groom-to-be, Tamer Shehata, was notified by a female guest attending his wedding that his would-be wife was a man in women's clothing. When Mr Shehata confronted his fiancee, he broke down and revealed that he was actually an 18-year-old man called Ahmed Abo Zeid. Mr Abo Zeid confessed that he had tried several times to undergo a sex change but had failed to secure doctors' approval. Mr Abo Zeid, whose face was obscured to Mr Shehata by a niqab or burka (face veil) said he had intended to tell after they were married, and had hoped to convince Mr Shehata to consummate the marriage".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:38 PM

 


CHRISTMAS SONGS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and .

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...

Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate





REMEMBER - JUST 'ONE' DRINK AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY!






THE NEWS

Germany: "No Prostitutes Here" signs: "German towns may erect 'No Prostitutes Here' signs over fears an army of call girls are coming for the 2006 World Cup.Prostitution is legal in Germany but only in certain areas, and the street signs are planned to stop football fans pestering women in other areas. They also want to stop the thousands of call girls heading to the country from moving out of the legal areas. The idea for the signs came after a German man, named only as Michael G, was arrested for soliciting a prostitute in a restricted area in Dusseldorf. In court he claimed he had no idea picking up a prostitute in that area was illegal. Judge Dirk Kruse admitted that he also didn't know which areas were legal and which were not and said: 'We need some kind of sign to make it clear.'"



Chocolate is now good for you: "Lovers of dark chocolate have been given the perfect excuse to indulge -- it is good for the heart. A study has found that eating a few squares a day could help prevent problems with blood flow. This is because chocolate contains high quantities of antioxidants called flavonoids, which prevent arteries hardening. These benefits are not shared by milk chocolate, possibly because the milk interferes with the effect of the flavonoids. In the study, published in the journal Heart, tests were carried out on 20 smokers, chosen because they have an increased risk of hardened arteries and heart disease. Asked not to eat anti-oxidant rich foods, they were then fed 57g of different types of chocolate. After two hours, those who had eaten dark chocolate, with 74 per cent cocoa solids, had "significantly improved" blood flow."





Meet Osama's niece: "She's not the model niece Osama bin Laden's looking for - but she is modelling. This is how Wafah Dufour, the al Qaeda leader's niece, will appear in the January 2006 issue of GQ magazine. Dufour, who took her mother's maiden name after the terrorist attacks in the US on September 11, 2001, is an aspiring musician struggling to make a name for herself. She says she has never met Osama bin Laden. "Everyone relates me to that man, and I have nothing to do with him," she said in the article. "There are 400 other people related to him, but they are all in Saudi Arabia, so nobody's going to get tarred with it. "I'm the only one here.""



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:35 PM

 


OH DEAR!

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ..... and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies......... "You just happened to catch my eye."





THE NEWS



Mammoth to become un-extinct: "The first serious possibility that the woolly mammoth, or something like it, could walk on Earth again has been raised by an international team of scientists. A portion of the genetic code of the mammoth has been reconstructed and, to the surprise of scientists, the team that carried out the feat believes that it will be possible to decode the entire genetic make-up. The tusked beast stood four metres tall and had a shaggy dark brown coat that hung from its belly. DNA was extracted from a well-preserved 27,000-year-old specimen found in the Siberian permafrost. So far, about 30 million "letters" of the genetic code have been read, although in small pieces, representing about 1 per cent of the entire code. The team says it could take as little as a year to finish the estimated 2.8 billion-letter code that provides the genetic wherewithal to create the animal.


Stalin's ape-men: "A secret plan to create hordes of half-man half-ape super-warriors to conquer the rest of world has been uncovered in Moscow. If successful, the plan would have seen humans and chimpanzees cross-breeding to create a new race of "living war machines", which ignored pain and fear and which thrived on hardship. According to The Scotsman, the program was instigated by Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin in the early 1920s. Stalin saw the scheme as an integral part of his plans to consolidate power and rapidly boost the Soviet Union's flagging power and prestige on the world stage".


Bad place to hide: "A South African mugger has been mauled to death by tigers after fleeing the scene of his crime and taking refuge in what turned out to be a tiger enclosure at a nearby zoo, police said. The incident took place in Bloemfontein, about 400km south west of Johannesburg. "The guy who was found in the tiger enclosure had been trying to escape after he had robbed a couple with a knife early on Sunday morning" police spokesman Sam Makhele said. "There were security guards nearby and they gave chase to this man and he jumped the fence into the zoo and he ended up in the tiger enclosure," he said. He said the man had been mauled to death and had bite marks on his neck. There were two tigers in the enclosure"



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:18 PM

 


From Conan O'Brien:

In an interview with Brian Williams, President Bush said that he knows a lot of people that are glad that we are in Iraq. When asked who, he said, "The leaders of North Korea and Iran."

This week Martha Stewart had to have stitches on her hand after carving a turkey. Doctor's said this was the first time anyone has every seen a turkey laugh.

NBC announced today that some of its shows will be available on iTunes for a $1.99. That's right if you sit through the show you will be paid $1.99.

An anti-Hillary web site has only been able to raise $10,000. When asked why Bill Clinton replied, "That's all I had."

Tom Cruise has announced that he and Katie Holmes are getting married before their baby is born. Tom said that his baby will be crazy but will not be a crazy bastard.





Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At Your Office Christmas Party

10. "I think the icing on this cake is wite-out"

9. "The bar will be open from 9:00 to 9:05"

8. "I've never seen chunky egg nog before"

7. "My New Year's resolution is to stop videotaping the men's room"

6. "Ooh, another windbreaker with the company logo - - This will help me put my kids through college"

5. "You're supposed to sit naked on the xerox machine, not the shredder"

4. "Put on Regis Philbin's Christmas album"

3. "Why is Shecky naked?"

2. "There's Letterman - - Get him!"

1. "Yeah, a glass of watery cider and a cookie makes up for a year of bull**it"







THE NEWS





Leopard cubs make Christmas debut: "It's not going to be a white Christmas in Sydney, but Taronga Zoo has produced an attraction befitting a frosty festive season - twin snow leopard cubs. The eight-week-old siblings made their first public appearance today in the zoo's new snow leopard enclosure, delighting staff, who waited two years for their parents to mate. The cubs - a male and a female - are yet to be named, and are being lovingly reared by first-time mother Samarra".




Kiddy feminists: "She's been derided as anti-feminist, denounced for causing eating disorders and dismissed as old-fashioned, but now Barbie is facing a new threat - children who love to torture, maim and decapitate her. Tracey Thompson is the president of Australia's Barbie fan club and a collector of vintage versions of the doll, but her 13-year-old daughter Ebony takes great delight in destroying the plastic toys. "I'm completely against altering Barbie in any way, but Ebony loves destroying them," Ms Thompson said. "She cross-dresses them, pierces them, swaps their body parts and melts the dolls to see how much Barbie's head will shrink." Ebony is not alone. A British study of seven- to 11-year-old girls found they hate the doll so much they are driven to violence. "The girls we spoke to see Barbie torture as a legitimate play activity and see the torture as a cool activity, in contrast to other forms of play with the doll," said Agnes Nairn, author of the report. "The types of mutilation are varied and creative and range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving.""


Melbourne traffic tunnels behead cows: "Cows are being decapitated in the Burnley and Domain tunnels. Drivers of oversized trucks are routinely ignoring height restrictions and smashing up their loads and the tunnels, CityLink has said. More than a cow a year has lost its head from rearing up in uncovered loads every year since CityLink opened in 2000. Some staff estimated a cow parted with its head as often as every month in the tunnels. Special runs are even organised for the cows' heads to be picked up by CityLink instant response vehicles. Revelations of the bovine beheadings come as CityLink urges big load drivers to stay out of its tunnels. Oversized trucks are given a warning thump by suspended rubber strips if they are too tall to enter the tunnels. But some over the 4.65m limit proceed and knock out overhead signs.... CityLink claims $700,000 has been spent repairing damage caused by 38 over-height vehicle incidents in their tunnels. The money is recouped as fines from the offending drivers. A CityLink spokeswoman said it was unusual for cows to lose their heads. Cows tended to jump above the level of the load if kicked by another cow or as part of a misguided escape bid. But she said the cow's number really had to be up to jump up at the exact moment an overhanging sign approached".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:38 PM

 


"Twas the Night Before a Non-denominational or Denominational Celebratory Day"

"Twas the night before a non-denominational or denominational celebratory day, when all through the residential dwelling, either rented or owned, not a creature was stirring, not even an evolution-advanced, sentient, small furry species that must be respected.

The hosiery which may be worn by any person regardless of gender (or gender identity) was hung (in a gentle manner using recyclable materials) by the chimney with care, in hopes that a follically gifted person of enhanced girth soon would be there.

The younger but equally valuable members of the family who may or may not be biologically related to the head of household were nestled (most respectfully and without the possibility of physical discipline) all snug in their beds, while non-drug induced and age-appropriate visions of organic fruit danced in the most non-suggestive manner in their heads.

And the female, male or transgendered head of household in his/her kerchief/cap/headwear of choice, and I in my kerchief/cap/headwear of choice, had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn/sidewalk/street/space not enclosed by walls, to respect those who cannot afford lawns or who may be homeless, which is a tragic condition that should not be judged-- there arose such a noise of undeterminable origin, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, not produced by any incendiary device, threw open the shutters and threw up the sash.*

The moon on the portion of female anatomy that cannot be said on the radio or television due to FCC restrictions of the new fallen snow, gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes, or other means of sensing, should appear, or emerge, but a mode of environmentally friendly transportation of compact stature that does not contribute to the world wide concern of global warming, nor uses unreplenishable fossil fuels, and eight tiny hoofed animals that should never be hunted for sport.

With a senior citizen driver of a vertically challenged disposition, so lively and quick, not meaning to imply that senior citizen drivers of a vertically challenged disposition are not normally lively and quick.I knew in a moment it must be the follically gifted person of enhanced girth previously mentioned above-but of no denominational significance.

More rapid than an avian species that is protected under federal law, his coursers they came, and he whistled, because he was genetically predisposed to whistle, and shouted, but not in an aggressive manner, and called them by name.

Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, and Vixen, on Comet on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen! (The folically gifted person of enhanced girth did not mean to call these hoofed animals that should never be hunted for sport by any value-laden or gender specific name as all reindeer, regardless of gender, are provided equal opportunity.)

To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall or other point on land that could be viewed by anyone either with or without a home.now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof, or any other point of a building within view of anyone either with or without a home, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, or prosthesis, whichever applies, and was turning around.down the chimney the follically gifted person of enhanced girth came with a bound.

He was dressed in an outfit that was comprised of a fur-like material made of hemp from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with non-tobacco ashes, and soot.

A bundle of toys or educational items he had flung on his back and he looked like a entrepreneurial retailer as he opened his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled, his genetically inherited facial features how merry, his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. His droll little mouth drawn up like a bow, and the facial hair on his face was as lacking in pigment as the snow or other type of precipitation, depending on the climate.

(((The next lines are omitted because of references to smoking and tobacco products without regard to the concern over second-hand smoke which would set a bad example for children.)))

(((Again, the next lines must be omitted because of value-laden and biogted references to people of enhanced abdominal girth.)))

a wink of his eye, not meaning to imply anything sexual or inappropriate and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, nor signed to the hearing impaired any indication he was trying to communicate, but went straight to his hourly or salaried union-contracted position recently negotiated and agreed upon by all parties, and filled the hosiery which may be worn by any person regardless of gender and washed in a gentle manner using only recyclable materials, then turned with a jerk (which may or may not be grounds for a workman's comp claim). And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his mode of environmentally friendly transportation of compact stature that does not contribute to the world wide concern of global warming, nor uses unreplenishable fossil fuels and to his team gave a whistle.

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, or sign to the hearing impaired as he drove, soberly, out of sight..

Happy non-denominational or denominational celebratory day. And to all a good night!

(More at A Small Victory)






THE NEWS

Art expert fooled by chimp's painting: "A German art expert was duped into believing a painting done by a chimpanzee was actually painted by a respected artist. Dr Katja Schneider, director of the State Art Museum in Moritzburg, Saxony-Anhalt, suggested the painting was by Guggenheim Prize winning artist Ernst Wilhelm Nay. Dr Schneider said: "It looks like an Ernst Wilhelm Nay. He was famous for using such blotches of colour." But in reality, the painting was made by female chimpanzee Banghi, from Halle Zoo. According to zoo workers, painting is one of the favourite pastimes of the 31-year-old ape, but her works are often destroyed by mate Satscho. After the real artist was revealed by the Bild newspaper, Dr Schneider said: "I did think it looked a bit rushed."



Expectant father Iglesias dies at 90: "His prodigious love life rivalled even that of his son, the singer Julio Iglesias. He appeared regularly in Spain's prensa rosa, or gossip magazines, as do Julio and his grandson, Enrique, the singer. But Julio Iglesias Puga, who died yesterday aged 90, was also renowned for escaping the Republicans during the Spanish Civil War as well as the Basque separatist group, Eta. The respected gynaecologist died in the Hospital Clinico San Carlos in Madrid after a reported heart attack. Last year Dr Iglesias, then aged 89, announced that his American wife, Ronna, 42, was expecting their first son, James. They met in the early 1990s and married in 2001 in a secret ceremony witnessed by close family and photographers from a magazine. Just days before his death, he told the magazine ­Hola! that she was pregnant with their second child, expected next year.




A little bit of England in China: "Dorchester, the county town of Dorset, which inspired Thomas Hardy, is being recreated in China after being featured on a Christmas card. Steve Pharaoh, 47, a town planner, is unwittingly responsible for the town’s Far Eastern twin after sending the card to a Chinese colleague last year. Mr Pharaoh, who lives in Dorchester, sent the card to an official responsible for developing a new satellite town in the city of Chengdu, in Sichuan province, central China. Work is now under way to build a replica of Dorchester’s Georgian and Victorian High Street. The residential areas of the town, which will house 200,000 people, have also been inspired by Dorchester. The new 250-acre settlement, to be called British Town, will have a network of roads and avenues named after Dorset places, such as Poole Promenade".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:50 PM

 


The royal prerogative

Another theater story lifted from Barry Cohen's very funny book "The Yartz"

The stage is the natural setting for disasters large and small. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. One that has gone into Australian theatrical folklore occurred during Crown Matrimonial, the play about the constitutional crisis that surrounded the abdication of King Edward VII due to the King's insistence that he marry the woman he loved, American divorcee Mrs Wallis Simpson. The then British Prime Minister, Stanley Baldwin, was a major player in the real-life drama that rocked the British Empire.

June Salter, who had won rave reviews for her portrayal of Queen Mary, and John Hamlin, who played Edward, were on stage. An altercation between them included Edward's line to the Queen Mother, "Mama, I am a man as well as a King, and I must marry Wallis Simpson. I have told Baldwin that.'

Salter could not believe her ears when Hamlin proclaimed, "Mama, I am a man as well as a woman and I must marry Baldwin."






THE NEWS

Does this guy prove we evolved from apes?



Russian giant Nikolai Valuev - promoted as "The Beast From The East" - became the biggest man ever to hold the world heavyweight title when he outpointed American Johnny Ruiz for the World Boxing Association crown. The new champ is 213cm and 147kg, or 7ft and a little over 23 stone in the old money.


Woman bites off 'rapist' tongue: "A disabled woman bit off the tip of an alleged rapist's tongue as he tried to attack her, police said today, in the third such case of self-defence in Thailand in 14 months. Sunthorn Sunthornkuna, 51, whose right eye is blind and whose right leg is deformed, visited a Bangkok police station on Saturday night to file a complaint that security guard Boonrawd Kannawan, 41, tried to attack her. "She had bitten some 2cm off his tongue and spat it out at the scene," police Lieutenant Weerachai Silpa said. Police arrested Boonrawd late on Saturday night while he was being treated at a private hospital in nearby Phatum Thani province and said he confessed to the attack".


Paracetamol causes headaches!: "Popular painkillers such as aspirin and paracetamol may cause the headaches they are supposed to treat. A paper published in the latest issue of the medical journal Australian Prescriber claims the recommended daily dose of some over-the-counter medications can cause headaches. "Medication-overuse headache is estimated to be responsible for 30 per cent of chronic daily headache and accounts for 10-60 per cent of patients attending specialist headache clinics," said David Williams, director of neurology at John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle. "The prevalence of medication-overuse headache is high and the condition is usually present for a long time before it is recognised and treated." Dr Williams said the body adapted to regular use of painkillers and became less responsive to medication. "When people stop taking the substance, the body suffers withdrawal symptoms," he said. "And the main symptom of withdrawal of analgesics is headache".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 8:19 PM

 


A TRUE STORY FROM THE WORLD OF THEATER

Lifted from Barry Cohen's book "The Yartz"

In the mid-1970s Anna Russell was the star of Stephen Sondheim's A Little Night Music at the re-opening of Her Majesty's Theatre in Sydney. After some months she had to return to England and was immediately replaced by Doris Fitton of Independent Theatre fame.

Doris was by then well into her seventies and, as is not uncommon with ageing actors, was having difficulty remembering her lines. The problem was solved by having her wear an earpiece so the stage manager could give her the appropriate cues. All went well for the first few nights with management feeling very pleased with their innovation. Unfortunately the frequency of Doris's earpiece was the same as that used by a local radio taxi service.

The audience was stunned when suddenlv the star of the show boomed: "Car 54 from Redfern is on its way".





THE NEWS

Now brandy is good for you: "Drinking a shot of brandy this Christmas could benefit your health, Monash University researchers have found. A School of Physics researcher in Melbourne, Dr Gordon Troup, said that, in moderation, brandy had been shown to have medicinal qualities, thanks to its antioxidants. "A 30ml shot of brandy gives you enough antioxidants to kill as many free radicals as your daily requirement of vitamin C," he said. And the better quality the brandy the greater the benefit. "So when you are enjoying a slice of brandy-infused fruit cake or a drink of good-quality brandy over Christmas you can put your mind at rest that this amber liquid isn't too bad for you at all.""


Drink-diallers off the hook: "A phone company has moved to protect would-be drinking diallers from themselves. Owners are able to block key numbers until 6am, saving them from drunken phone indiscretions. Virgin Mobile's Dialling Under the Influence service has been used 10,000 times since it was launched last December. One dialler used it 250 times in one month. Owners simply dial 333, followed by the number of the person- such as a lover or the boss - they shouldn't speak to while tipsy. Virgin Mobile's spokeswoman Kerry Parkin said calls to the service would peak during the Christmas silly season. The service, which costs 25 cents a call, was launched after an online survey found 95 per cent of respondents were guilty of dialling while drunk".


Bad Santas rampage in Auckland: "A group of 40 drunken people dressed in Santa Claus outfits went on a rampage through New Zealand's largest city, Auckland, robbing stores, assaulting security guards and urinating from highway overpasses. The rampage, dubbed "Santarchy" by newspapers, began early yesterday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an overpass, said Auckland Central Police's Noreen Hegarty. She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage bins, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on office buildings. One man climbed the mooring line of a cruise ship before being ordered down by the captain. Other Santas, objecting when the man was arrested, attacked security staff who were later treated by paramedics, Hegarty said. The remaining Santas entered a convenience store and carried off beer and soft drinks. "They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," store owner Changa Manakynda said. Two security guards were treated for cuts after being struck by beer bottles, Hegarty said. Three people, including the man who climbed on the cruise ship, were arrested and charged with drunkenness and disorderly behaviour. Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was a worldwide movement designed to protest the commercialisation of Christmas".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:49 PM

 


BOFFINS AT WORK

At a recent conference of science and mathematics, a physicist, a mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician were all staying on the same floor of their hotel.

The engineer woke up in the middle of the night to find his trash can had started on fire. He jumped out of bed, quickly filled his ice bucket with water, extinguished the flames, and went back to sleep.

A little later, the physicist woke up and also discovered his trash can to be ablaze. He paused for a moment, pulled out his slide rule, and made a few quick calculations. He filled up his ice bucket with exactly 1/2 liter of water and used it to extinguish the fire, and then went back to sleep.

Shortly after, the mathematician was awoken and his trash can was also on fire. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and frantically scribbled out pages and pages of equations. When he found the solution he went to bed, comfortable just knowing that the solution existed.

And the statistician? He was found running around lighting other people's trash cans on fire because he needed a bigger sample size.







THE NEWS

Now it's the "B-word": "A Southwest Airlines jet was evacuated at an airport in the Los Angeles region yesterday after a passenger was reportedly heard to say the word 'bomb', prompting a security alert, authorities said. The Southwest flight had been taxiing to takeoff at Bob Hope airport in Burbank, California when the evacuation was ordered, said an airport spokesman. "This incident is related to a remark by a passenger," airport spokesman Victor Gill told local television. A woman passenger onboard the flight told KCAL9 television she had heard a male passenger, who she said had been drinking alcohol, say the word 'bomb', prompting the security scare and the plane's evacuation".


Party on us, says council: "Townsville residents are being paid to party as the council attempts to put an end to social alienation. Up to $500 for food and drink and party equipment is available to anyone who wants to hold a street party, provided it helps with social cohesion. Introduced by Mayor Tony Mooney, the paid-to-party policy is already a raging success. Townsville police have praised it as a way of bringing people together. About seven parties have already gone off, with at least another 10 confirmed. But Brisbane City Council insists it too has always been willing to chip in for the odd kabana and cocktail onion if anyone wants to open the Jatz crackers and invite the neighbours over".


Amazing: What does it take to jail a thief?: "A woman who was being charged after she stole presents for Christmas later stole the police camera used to take her photo at the station. Lucella Bridget Gorman, 38, of Banyo, appeared in the Brisbane Magistrate's Court yesterday where she pleaded guilty to two counts of stealing and one charge of unauthorised dealing with shop goods. The court was told Gorman stole $134 worth of fruit and chocolate from a Herston service station in October. Then last month, she went to a city department store and stole four Barbie dolls, toys, batteries, electronics, beauty products and earrings. She was caught and taken to the city police station so she could be fingerprinted and photographed. Then, when inside the Brisbane city police fingerprint room, police said Gorman stole their digital camera while an officer's back was turned. He quickly found what was missing and retrieved it from Gorman's bag, before she was charged with another count of stealing.... Gorman was put on a 12-month good behaviour bond and no convictions were recorded. Mr Comans warned if she came back to court in that time, she could be re-sentenced for these charges and ordered to pay $500".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 10:54 PM

 


DIARY OF AN ENGLISHMAN WHO EMIGRATED TO AUSTRALIA

Note that both Australia and Britain measure temperature in degrees Celsius (centigrade) rather than in Fahrenheit, 35 degrees Celsius is 95 degrees Fahrenheit

August 31st:

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Darwin!!
Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place!
I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my home.
I love it here.

September 13th:

Really heating up.
Got to 35 degrees today.
Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 30 degrees all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's kind of windy though, but getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool.
Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed 3 days of work.
What a daft thing to do.
I learnt my lesson though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:

I didn't see Kitty our cat, sneaking into the car before I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car at lunchtime, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank out $3,000 worth of leather upholstery.
I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit.
I learnt my lesson though.
No more pets in this heat.

October 25th:

The wind gives me the shits.
It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!
And it's as hot as hell.
The air conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:

It's 35 degrees.
Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30.
Stupid repairman.
I hate this bloody place.

November 8th:

If another smartass says, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to throttle him.
Bloody heat.
By the time I get to work the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work.
Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car.
I thought my ass was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny.
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place?
Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms will dry up and blow into the bloody pool.
Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!!
Temperature got to 38 today.
Now the air conditioner in my car has gone.
The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today, mate?"
My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting the repairman.
Bloody Darwin.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st:

WHAT?????
This is the first day of summer????
You are f****** kidding me!







THE NEWS

Silent disco -- great idea: "It's what parents and neighbours have dreamt of for years -- a noise-free dance party. At Manly Beach groovers were set to make a spectacle of themselves at Australia's first silent disco. Instead of blasting through loudspeakers, the music is pumped through personal headphones. It's all in their heads as they dance to DJs Kid Kenobi and Mike Dotch in silence. Silent discos have been a success overseas at Glastonbury Festival and in the US at the Bonnaroo Festival. Manly's silent disco has been organised by mobile phone company Motorola as part of the Vodafone SLAM Volleyball tournament. The headphones use Bluetooth wireless technology and work within 10m of the DJ console. "We want to make computerwear accessible to younger people, so they can understand it," Motorola spokesman Peter Joblin said. "Taking it to the disco makes it easier to communicate the message.""


French naughty about ashes: "France wants to give cremated remains a legal status because ashes of the deceased are now often treated like souvenirs, ending up sometimes in bitter disputes between family members and sometimes in the garbage. Local Government Minister Brice Hortefeux said the only law now on funeral ashes simply barred them from being dispersed over public roads. Families were otherwise free to do with them what they wanted. "An amazing 71 per cent of urns are kept in private places at the whim of the owner at the time, if they're not being disputed over among family members," he told the Catholic La Croix newspaper today. "This freedom can sometimes lead to serious abuses against the memory of the deceased," said Mr Hortefeux, who added he would consult lawyers, clergy, sociologists and historians to help draft a law to ensure better handling of cremated remains".


The complaining English: "English people like nothing more than a whinge and they are doing that with a vengeance this Christmas. An unfair generalisation? Well, they're doing their best to live up to it. One of the more popular stocking-fillers this Yuletide is a charming little book called Is It Just Me, Or Is Everything Shit? The book is a publishing phenomenon, flying off the shelves. Everything from TV shows to royalty, pop stars, shopping centres and Che Guevara are grounds for a good old moan by authors Steve Lowe and Alan MacArthur. Lowe and MacArthur get no prizes for originality, as the latest to capitalise on the malaise of pointless irritability that seems to grip middle Britain. The Gripes of Wrath - This Book is Guaranteed to Make Your Blood Boil is another title achieving similar success here".


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:10 PM

 


OUR ODD ENGLISH LANGUAGE

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is s pecial. And this UP is confusing:

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,
look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so.............

Time to shut UP.....!














THE NEWS

Whoopee! Fibre diet 'doesn't prevent cancer': "A comprehensive study challenges the one accepted truism of dietary research since the 1960s. Eating lots of fibre may do little to protect against colon cancer, the latest analysis of evidence has found. While people who eat the most fibre - in the form of cereals, vegetables and fruit - are slightly less likely to get colon cancer, the association is weak and disappears altogether when other factors are taken into account, according to an international team in the Journal of the American Medical Association. The research undermines one of the greatest of dietary shibboleths, first enunciated by the British physician Denis Burkitt in the 1960s. Working in Africa, he noticed that rates of colon cancer were low, and put it down to the fibre-rich diet of local people".


Mystery of the vanishing cruise ship passengers: "A public investigation into a string of disappearances aboard luxury cruise ships was opened by the US Congress yesterday. Spurred to action by the case of George Allen Smith IV, whose disappearance from a cruise ship on July 5 has all the ingredients of an Agatha Christie whodunnit, a congressional committee will hear evidence about at least 12 people who have vanished from liners in the past five years. "We want to know how often this kind of thing happens," said Christopher Shays, chairman of the National Security, Emerging Threats and International Relations committee looking into cruise ship safety. Four days ago Jill Begora, 59, a Canadian travelling with her husband on a Royal Caribbean cruise, vanished as the ship was approaching Nassau, in the Bahamas. There is no evidence of foul play. But Mr Shays, a Republican from Connecticut, is worried by the number of disappearances aboard cruise ships since being lobbied by Mr Smith's family and friends".





Court pardons bra burglar: "A Chinese man who repeatedly broke into the home of a neighbour he secretly loved, at one point sneaking out with a bra and some photos, has been let off the hook by a Chinese court, Xinhua news agency has said. The man confessed to breaking into the woman's home five times, including once while she was sleeping, though he had fled as soon as she woke up, Xinhua said. Police caught him red-handed in November walking out of the neighbour's apartment with a key to her door, a bra, two photographs and her MP3 player, the report said. But the court in Harbin, capital of northeastern Heilongjiang province, dismissed harassment charges against the burglar. It heard that on the times he entered the woman's apartment while she was out, he had washed her dishes, done her laundry, left her snacks and even fixed her computer".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:12 PM

 


ANOTHER CHRISTMAS UPDATE

(From John Leo)

The "winter program" at Ridgeway Elementary School In Dodgeville, Wisconsin, changed the lyrics of the Christmas carol "Silent Night" to the more inclusive "Cold in the Night." ("Cold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite." ) After this success, the program's next step will obviously be:

a) Changing "O Holy Night" to "Uh-oh! Wholly night!" a song about a lunar eclipse
b) Singing "O Little Town of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania."
c) A song celebrating the comeback of the American auto industry, "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Ford."
d) A ditty about hoping for snow at the Panama Canal, "I'm dreaming of a white isthmus."

The modern name for Christmas trees is now:

a) Giving trees
b) Trees of color
c) Seasonal conifers
d) Inclusion bushes
e) Tall lit-up flora
f) Those pointy green things with needles and lights

Some schools have ruled that red and green cookies cannot be brought into class in December because the color combination strongly suggests the divisive sectarian feast day of Christmas. Therefore"

a) Red cookies may be brought to school. Green ones too. But, please, not on the same day
b) A fruit bowl containing just pears and cherries is a serious constitutional matter and should be reported immediately to the ACLU, care of the Christmas erasure desk. c) In December, the San Francisco 49er may not be shown playing the New York Jets, except on black-and-white TV sets.
d) All traffic lights must be turned off until January 1.

The three wise men in the Nativity scene are objectionable because

a) They fail the multicultural test--though one is black, neither of the other two is a disabled lesbian, wiccan or vegan.
b) "Wise Men" should be "Persons of Wisdom"
c) Describing the first people to come to see Jesus as "wise" implies that idiots can't become Christians, which experience tells us is just not so.

Christians believe Jesus came down to earth and made himself human in order to encourage

a) Consumer confidence
b) Season's greetings
c) A festive period between bowl games
d) His birth scene to be surrounded by plastic reindeer, elves and court-pleasing woodland creatures
e) Frenzied end-of-year gift giving
f) Religious songs that are easily converted into weather songs in Wisconsin
g) The ACLU Christmas-erasure desk

It's beginning to look a lot like:

a) Christmas
b) Hanukah
c) Kwanzaa
d) Indianapolis is a lock to win the Superbowl

Before backing down and permitting a full Nativity scene, a public library in Memphis agreed to allow the scene, but only if the baby Jesus, Joseph, Mary and the wise men were removed This left a shepherd boy and some farm animals. Next year the library will accept a Nativity scene only if it consists of:

a) A shepherd boy and some chickens
b) A shepherd boy and some ferrets
c) A shepherd boy explaining that the head librarian in Memphis thinks with a brain that may or may not be the result of Intelligent Design.




I have just put up here a very nice picture of a polar bear cub





THE NEWS



Cat-fur coat, anyone? "Cats on Kangaroo Island are being killed and made into stubby holders, hats, golf-club covers and even slippers -- with the financial backing of the South Australian Government. Animal welfare groups are outraged that the Government is helping to finance the sale of the feral cat products. Cat groups agree feral cat numbers need to be better managed on the island to protect wildlife. But they say shooting and poisoning the cats, and then using their fur, heads and tails for profit, is appalling and barbaric".




Britain: 'Fresh' apples could be a year old: "Apples are being sold in supermarkets up to a year after harvesting. The "freshly-picked" fruit - stocked by chains including Sainsbury's - is treated with a chemical gas that stops it ripening during storage. The process allows produce to be sold two to three seasons after being harvested. Agrofresh, the US firm behind the SmartFresh chemical as it is known, says it locks the taste in the apples, preserving the quality. However critics insist stores should stock fresh local fruit.... The treatment, which is used in more than 25 countries, stops apples producing ethylene, the natural ripening agent that softens fruit before it rots. The nutritional content of fruit is also preserved during storage... Producers using it include Domex, which ships American apples to Britain.... Year-old apples are common in US supermarkets but it is thought that most apples on sale in Britain are no more than six months old.... The chemical is also used on bananas, melons, tomatoes and avocados, but only extends their shelf-life by days or weeks".


Nose found in dog's stomach, sewn on: "Czech surgeons sewed back the nose of an 11-year-old boy after it had been bitten off by a dog and remained in its stomach for two hours, Czech papers reported today. Surgeon's claim the operation is unique. "Sewing back a nose is not so exceptional in surgery. But we have looked in vain in the specialist literature for a case where a nose was sewed back that had stayed for two hours in a stomach. "It is proof that we are the first to do this," the head of plastic and esthetic surgery at Brno's St Ann Faculty Hospital, Jiri Vesely, told the Pravo newspaper. The successful 11-hour operation was carried out at the hospital after a neighbour's dog attacked the boy on November 17. Vets had to operate first to recover the nose from the dog's stomach"



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:29 PM

 



NEW COMPANY POLICY STATEMENT:

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the department’s bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the department's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Death Clause
Any worker found dead at their desk will be promptly fired. All deaths will need to be applied for in advance and will only be approved if your can show that your death will not affect productivity. Thank you for your loyalty to the department. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustration's, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.






THE NEWS

British bank removes pesky clocks: "NATWEST is removing clocks from its branches in a bid to deter customers from complaining about how long they have to queue, according to staff at the bank. Getting rid of wall clocks is part of a 150 million pound nationwide refurbishment scheme by NatWest, which has more than 10m customers. Last week, two of the High Street banking giant's employees said that during redevelopment of their branch the clock disappeared and would not be replaced. 'It's been taken down so people won't complain,' said one, who did not wish to be identified. 'It happened over a month ago. If people have been standing in a queue waiting to see a cashier for a long time, they can get very cross. 'When the clock was there, it was difficult for us to disagree with them about how long they'd been waiting. Now it's more difficult for them to complain"


Tea stops cancer! "Women who consume two or more cups of tea daily over a period of time may lower their risk of ovarian cancer compared with women who never or seldom consume tea, according to a study published in the December issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine. "We observed a 46-per-cent lower risk of ovarian cancer in women who drank two or more cups of tea per day compared to non-drinkers," Susanna Larsson and Alicja Wolk of the National Institute of Environmental Medicine in Stockholm, Sweden, said. The study found that each additional cup of tea consumed a day was associated with an 18-per-cent lower risk of ovarian cancer in study participants. The researchers examined the association between tea consumption and the risk of ovarian cancer in 61,057 women between 40 and 76 years of age".


Punchup with a shark!: "A spearfisherman punched a shark during a melee with half a dozen of the sea predators off the far north Queensland coast on Sunday morning. Glenn Simpson, 44, a Melbourne builder, was left with a large chunk missing from his right elbow and 30 puncture holes in his arm. He was snorkelling while his two teenage sons were spearfishing nearby off Port Douglas about 11am from his 14m game boat The Allure when the attacks occurred. Speaking from his hospital bed in Cairns yesterday, Mr Simpson said he had noticed shark activity in the water at St Crispins Reef but was not overly concerned. The sharks were only white-tipped reef sharks, with the biggest under about 1.5m long. However, when his son Luke, 15, speared a coral trout, about five sharks appeared and ripped apart the fish. The shark pack then turned on Mr Simpson and Luke. "Within seconds, it was on. They just came from nowhere," Mr Simpson said. "One was definitely coming at my shoulder (and) I punched (it) away. The next thing I knew I had one latched on to my arm".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:54 PM

 


THE TWELVE POLITICALLY CORRECT DAYS OF THE WINTER SOLSTICE HOLIDAY

"On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me:

Twelve males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

Eleven pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...);

Ten melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping;

Nine persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

Eight economically disadvantaged but still virginal Gyno-Americans stealing milk products from enslaved Bovine-Americans;

Seven endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands;

Six enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products;

Five golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration; (Note: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised).

Four hours of recorded whale songs,

Three deconstructionist poets;

Two Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses;

And a spotted owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree."






THE NEWS

A win-win gamble: "A 91-year-old British man who staked a 500 pound ($1173) bet that he would be dead by the end of the first week in December has lost his stake by staying alive. Arthur King-Robinson said he put the bet on at odds of 6/1 at the start of the year because his wife would have faced an inheritance tax bill of 3000 pounds ($7036) had he died in the intervening period. "I thought I'd heard most things that people want to bet on after 30 years in the business," said Graham Sharpe, spokesman for bookmaker William Hill. "But one asking literally to place a dead cert was unique. I'm glad Arthur has lost." King-Robinson had feared that his wife Cynthia, 85, would have to sell the home they had lived in for 50 years in southwest England if she had been hit by the tax bill. "I lost my 500 pounds - but it gave me peace of mind," he said.




Panda salvation: "They're one of the cutest animals on the planet. And also one of the most at risk. Only about 1600 giant pandas are believed to be left living in the wild due to loss of habitat to man. But a series of scientific breakthroughs is boosting panda numbers. Two Chinese research facilities have announced record numbers of births in captivity, with 19 baby pandas born this year thanks to a combination of improved artificial insemination techniques and better knowledge of the animal's habits.




Wombats as sex symbols?: "A complicated dance, a bite on the rump and ferocious backward kicks are all part of the wombat's lovemaking repertoire, a new study has revealed. Until recently, there were no recorded observations of mating between wombats. But the director of Nocturnal Wildlife Research Ltd, biologist Clive Marks, found wombats were more likely than the average Aussie male to emulate moves from the Kama Sutra... "With absolute precision, details of the wombat's sex life were recorded and, surprisingly, it seemed anything but modest," he says. "It appeared to be a physically demanding process, complete with chasing, biting, grunting and loads of heavy breathing." .... Mr Marks says he hopes his study will solve the sloth-like image problem of the common wombat, making the furry marsupials "the symbol of Australian male sexual virility".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:47 PM

 


From Jay Leno:

In a recent speech former diplomat Joe Wilson, he's the husband of that outed CIA Agent Valerie Plame, he called columnist Bob Novak a "jerk" and an "a-hole". You can see how he became a diplomat.

The U.S. Postal Service says they expect to handle twenty billion pieces of mail for the holidays. They'll only deliver about ten billion, but they'll handle twenty billion.

A new study says that it actually takes men longer to shop on the Internet then it does for them to shop in an actual store. Well of course! There no naked women at the stores.

On the show tonight, Tyra Banks, she is celebrating a birthday. She is 32 years old.which is 118 in super model years.

Did you see the show she did the other day where she dressed up in a 350-pound fat suit? Now Clinton won't stop calling her







Retirees: The Whole Truth & Nothing But

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answers: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.






THE NEWS

Naked train driver gets sack: "The driver of a 200km/h Sheffield to London express train has been sacked after he stripped naked at the controls and snapped a picture of himself in the buff. "The driver was suspended straight away while we held a full investigation," a spokeswoman for Midland Main Line said. "The driver has now been dismissed. Safety is, and always will be, our main priority." The driver, whose name was not disclosed, is believed to have used his camera-fitted mobile phone to snap the photo. It was then sent on to a Midland Mainline railway employee, who alerted bosses".


Fair exchange is no robbery: "A Turkish villager who ran away with his friend's wife has offered his own wife in exchange, newspapers said today. Farm labourer Cengiz Esme said Gulhan, his wife of 18 years, disappeared a month ago after leaving their village to go shopping in the southern Turkish town of Tarsus. The 36-year-old said his village friend Mehmet Yaksi had telephoned him the next day and said: "I've run off with your wife .... You take my wife", the Radikal newspaper reported. Mr Esme pleaded for Gulhan to return and said he was ready to forgive her and make a fresh start elsewhere. The reports said Mr Yaksi's wife, a mother of three, declined to comment on the situation."


Practical gal: "Madonna swept into Japan this week for the first time in 12 years to promote her new album, revealing a love of all things Japanese: food, fashion, men and - most of all -- heated toilet seats. The singer, whose disco album Confessions On A Dance Floor debuted at No.1 in 25 countries including Australia, said she hoped to return to Tokyo on any future tour. "I've always been interested in Japanese culture. Some of my videos and my performances on stage have been influenced by Japanese music, fashion, martial arts," she said. "I love Japanese food. I eat more Japanese food than you do." But above all, "I've missed the heated toilet seats," Madonna said".




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:46 PM

 


History in a Christmas Carol

It's a good story anyway

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? Well just read on:

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for the young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning, the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

1. The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

2. Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

3. Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

4. The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

5. The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books.

6. The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creating.

7. Seven swans a swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.

8. The eight maids a milking were the eight beatitudes.

9. Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

10. The ten lords a leaping were the Ten Commandments.

11. The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

12. The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles Creed.







THE NEWS

Olive oil could save your sex life: "A pill made from olive oil and herbs could dramatically reduce a man's chances of developing prostate cancer. A trial at Columbia University in the US revealed the herbal supplement can reduce the rate at which prostate cancer cells grow and spread by nearly 80 per cent. The results, published in the medical journal Nutrition And Cancer, appear to confirm anecdotal evidence that the herbal mixture has powerful anti-cancer properties. Called Zyflamend, the supplement is based on olive oil and ten different herbs. It is already widely used as an alternative to prescription drugs in conditions such as arthritis. This is because it appears to reduce inflammation that causes painful, swollen joints. Available through health food suppliers and costing around 25 pounds for 60 capsules, Zyflamend attracted the attention of researchers at Columbia University after tests showed it stopped cancer cells multiplying. But after testing the pill on almost 50 men, the team admitted they had not expected it to have such a potent effect. "These results were particularly surprising and show greater promise in the fight against prostate cancer," said Dr Debra Bemis, who led the study".


Tennessee: What a dummo! "In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer. Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, was arrested over the weekend and remains in jail with bond set at $1 million on four charges of attempted murder and four counts of soliciting a murder. According to police, Booth was in the Memphis home of the four intended victims last week when she mistook a block of queso fresco cheese for cocaine -- inspiring the idea to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the men. An informant described the plot to police, who arranged a meeting between Booth and the undercover officer. The undercover officer gave Booth some nonfunctioning handguns, bought ammunition for her because she was too young, and the two proceeded to the home under police surveillance."


Sexist crook! "It was a holiday bar-code caper. Boulder, CO, police have charged 19-year-old Jonathan Baldino with a Class 5 felony for allegedly using homemade bar codes to purchase electronic gizmos for far less than the marked price, according to the Denver Post. The police report says the freshman electrical-engineering student at the University of Colorado put the fake bar codes together by taking real bar codes from cheap items and gluing them onto pricey tech gadgets at Target. The alleged holiday markdown scheme worked once, and it seems the bar-code schemer might have been a bit of a sexist, police say. 'He looked for female checkers that he thought did not know enough about electronic items to catch the switch,' officer Don Schuler wrote in the police report."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:45 PM

 


BEFORE I CAME TO COLLEGE I WISH I HAD KNOWN:

That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd sleep through it anyway.
That I could change so much and barely realize it.
That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
That college kids throw airplanes too.
That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.
That every clock on campus shows a different time.
That if you were smart in high school, so what?
That I would go to a party the night before a final.
That I could sleep until 12:55 and still make my 1:00 class.
That my best friend is the worst roommate.
That you can know everything and fail a test.
That you can know nothing and ace a test. (I know a bunch of us are testimony to this one!)
That I would never watch the news, and I would be totally out of touch with the world happenings.
That Home is a great place to visit, But I wouldn't want to live there.
That the more money your parents give you, the less you have every time you check your account!!
That parties get old, and sometimes you just want to kick back and watch a movie.
That most of my education would be obtained outside of class.
That friendship is more than getting drunk together, but I met most of my friends through drinking.
That I would be one of those people that my parents warned me about.
That you could be totally broke, but still have enough to go to a bar!
That I would go home every weekend my Freshman year.
That I would laugh at all the Freshman going home every weekend my Senior year.
That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.
That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few years.
That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by friends.
That friends are what makes this place worthwhile!
Don't be dismayed at good-byes, A farewell is necessary before we can meet again, and meeting again, after moments or a
Lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.






THE NEWS

British broccoli mania: "Your genes could mean that eating broccoli to help protect against cancer may not be enough - what you need is "super-broccoli." Researchers have found around half the population don't have the right genes to fully benefit from eating the green vegetable. They retain the cancer fighting chemical sulforaphane for only a few hours. But they could compensate for the difference in their genetic make-up by eating the super variety, with higher levels of the active plant chemical sulforaphane. "Super-broccoli" is currently being developed and may not be in the shops for another three years. In the meantime researchers from the Institute of Food Research (IFR) say that eating larger portions may be the best way to compensate. Lead scientist Professor Richard Mithen said: "Eating a few portions of broccoli each week may help to reduce the risk of cancer". And pigs might fly


Santa Claus under attack from privacy advocates : "Father Christmas is under attack this week from privacy advocates concerned about the jolly old elf's growing database of personal information. 'He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good,' said privacy advocate Ben Hodgkins. 'He also knows the wants and wishes of every child on the planet.' ... Hodgkins also worries that Santa operates outside any government's control in his sovereign North Pole region where Santa only answers to himself. 'He doesn't have a privacy policy. He often collects his information without the knowledge of the consumer. It's a John Ashcroft fantasy scenario,' said Hodgkins. Santa's information could be valuable to all sorts of retailers as well as government organizations." [satire]


Paper made from beer! "A Tasmanian businesswoman who earned world headlines making paper from kangaroo dung has turned her creative attention to beer. Joanna Gair, from the Burnie-based Creative Paper Tasmania, this week added Genuine Premium Beer Paper to her list of unusual artistic accomplishments. Made from the same malt husks used in the brewing process, the paper is stocked at the Boag's Centre for Beer Lovers in Launceston. Marketing director Lyndon Adams is claiming a world first. "Creative Paper has applied traditional techniques of hand paper-making to produce what we believe is the first ever beer-based paper," he said. Mrs Gair, who sent Crown Princess Mary of Denmark a gift of "roo poo" paper during her Australian tour in March, approached Boag's with the idea earlier last month. The result is a high quality paper similar to traditional Italian masters paper, she said".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 8:03 PM

 


WISE WORDS

1) "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, he or she should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before he or she leaves you, he or she should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
--Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my golly .... I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What? Do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown

18) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

19) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My Word, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry

20) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, (presumed deceased)






THE NEWS



The "alcohol is good/bad for you" merrygoround continues: "Those who drink in moderation may have a significantly lower risk of obesity, suggests a new study published online in BMC Public Health. The study found those who drank one or two drinks a day had a significant lower risk of obesity compared to non-drinkers, while heavy drinkers and binge drinkers are at a higher risk. In the study, a drink is defined as a 12-oz beer, 4-oz glass of wine, or an ounce of liquor. For the study, Ahmed A Arif from Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center and James E Rohrer from Mayo Clinic Family Medicine Program analyzed data from 8,236 non-smoking respondents who participated in the Third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. The drinking habits were surveyed and body mass indexes were measured. The study was to explore, "association between obesity and alcohol consumption in the non-smoking U.S. adult population." The researchers found, "the odds of obesity among current drinkers were 0.73 times lower than the odds among non-drinkers. Significantly greater odds of overweight and obesity were observed among those engaged in binge drinking." "Similarly, those who reported drinking four or more drinks per day had 30 percent greater odds of being overweight and 46 percent greater odds of obesity," the authors wrote in their article. "However respondents who reported drinking one or two drinks/day had significantly lower odds of obesity.""


Garage door chaos Pentagon's fault: "All over the United States, garage door openers have gone bonkers ... and it's all the fault of the U.S. Military! The Government Accountability Office in Washington released the results of a special investigation on Thursday, saying the cause of thousands of garage-door mishaps is a new military radio system apparently used all over the country. In a colossal screw-up only the Pentagon could pull off, the new Land Mobile Radio units operate on the same frequencies as most garage-door openers. Every time the Pentagon begins using the new radios at another base, the unlucky homeowners nearby suddenly find themselves playing a deadly game of Garage Door Roulette -- and the military has done nothing to warn citizens of the coming chaos."


Netherlands: Xmas carols keep gangs away: "Dutch authorities are playing loud and annoying Christmas carols in public areas to keep teenage gangs off the streets. Charlois Council in Rotterdam have started blasting out the Dutch children's carols from a barrel organ at the Zuidplein underground station. It follows complaints from commuters about gangs hanging around at night. A council spokesman said all the unruly teenagers had disappeared within a few minutes of the carols blaring out."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:43 PM

 


How to Tell Democrats from Terrorists

It sure isn't easy to differentiate Democrats from terrorists these days.

1) Both Democrats and terrorists want American troops out of Iraq.

2) Both Democrats and terrorists hate George W. Bush.

3) Both Democrats and terrorists claim American troops are killing and harassing innocent women and children in Iraq.

4) Both Democrats and terrorists claim American troops are an occupying force.

5) Both Democrats and terrorists claim that the war in Iraq was all about oil.

6) Both Democrats and terrorists claim that Bush lied to get the congress to agree to the war against Saddam.

7) Both Democrats and terrorists claim that America is losing the war in Iraq.

8) Both Democrats and terrorists claim that Bush "rushed" into the war, and neither appears to have noticed the year of delay while gathering numerous UN and congressional resolutions and authorizations.

But, to be sure, there is one way to tell Democrats from terrorists: Democrats claim that they support the troops, while terrorists don't.

(From Dr. Mick)






THE NEWS

Oldsters not forgetful after all: "Ageing and memory loss do not necessarily go hand in hand, new research has found. Neuropsychologist Dr Tracey Wardill, from Melbourne University, studied 200 people aged 65 to 94 and found no progressive memory loss as people age. But there was some change in the ability to absorb larger amounts of information among older people. "Some people who were in their 80s and 90s could not take in as much information or process information as quickly so it is important that we don't overload them," Dr Wardill said. The findings could help health professionals working with the elderly, she said. The volunteers completed a variety of memory tests over two sessions. "The data showed there was no progressive loss of memory in the 60s, 70s, or 80s," Dr Wardill said. "When you look at the data, it shows that many people in their 80s did just as well as people in their 60s."


Austria: Xmas devils can carry on smacking: "Austria's traditional Christmas devils have been given police clearance to carry on smacking people's backsides. Locals in towns across the country dress up as either St Nicholas, handing out sweets to the good, or as the devil, handing out beatings to the bad. And people who are whacked by the revellers in the run up to Christmas have no cause to complain, say police. Vienna police spokesman Gerhard Schoenberg said: 'Dressing up is part of our tradition and being smacked on the bottom by the devils is all part of the fun. Only if the beatings turn particularly violent and a person is left injured can any action be taken.' The police statement comes after previous years saw dozens of complaints by victims who felt offended by being tapped on the backside."


Big balls = small brains: "A new study has found that big testicles go together with tiny brains. The discovery, which many women may not find surprising, suggests a biological trade-off has to be made between brains and sperm. It seems that because of the high energy demands , males can't generate large numbers of both. Researchers, led by Dr Scott Pitnick, from Syracuse University in New York, found the link between testicle and brain size after looking at more than 300 species of bats. In many species females are unusually promiscuous, so males have evolved enormous testicles, at the expense of their brains. In species with rampantly promiscuous females .. pea-brained males with large testicles stand a better chance of having offspring than less fertile .. but brainier rivals"


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:19 PM

 


Things You Would Love to Say - But Don't Dare

What am I?... Flypaper for freaks!

And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

Do I look like a people person?

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.






THE NEWS

Yuk! "An Italian mother who had a sex change has, in her new incarnation as a man, married a female childhood friend at a ceremony witnessed by their children. Elena Silla, a 32-year-old nurse now officially known as Christian, married 35-year-old journalist Algia Flati. The pair met 20 years ago at school. Four years ago, Silla decided to become a man, taking the name Christian "at the suggestion of her 10-year-old daughter", the Corriere della Sera newspaper said. Soon afterwards she met Flati again, who by then was a divorced mother of two, and the pair became close".




The greatest battleship ever built: "It's the same story with battleships. When I think of the Hood I think of the 1,415 men who drowned when it sank. When I think of the Yamato I spare not even a moment's thought for the 2,478 who died in the hailstorm of American bombs. I'm bothered only by the destruction of the machine itself. To sink the biggest battleship ever made the US sent nearly 400 planes and six battleships of their own and, for a while, even that looked like sending a fly swat to knock out an asteroid. Because even after she had been hit with 10 torpedoes and several bombs, the Yamato kept on going at 27 knots. Faster than most modern jet skis. She only sank when she capsized to port and blew up, sending a mushroom cloud 1,000ft into the Pacific sky. The Japanese have just made a film about her and it's raised all sorts of questions about whether they should be glorifying a war in which their behaviour was so poor. Pah. The movie's about the Yamato and I'll be going. Because this was a ship that had an X factor so enormous you could land the space shuttle on it".



Toilet paper politics: "The National Center for Public Policy Research is handing out "emissions credits" printed on toilet paper at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Montreal today, to symbolize the failure of the Kyoto Protocol and the futility of emissions trading schemes. Under the European Union's "CO2 Emissions Trading Scheme," companies are allotted credits that allow them to emit a fixed amount of carbon dioxide. Companies that reduce their carbon dioxide output, and thus don't use all of their credits, can sell them to companies who are exceeding their C02 allotments. As the flawed Kyoto treaty is all but dead, emissions credits aren't likely to be of any value in the future. "Emissions credits aren't worth the paper they're printed on," said David Ridenour, Vice President of The National Center, "Unless, of course, that paper happens to be toilet paper."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:24 PM

 
DEEPER THOUGHTS

To stick a finger in the eye of the ACLU.

You know, there are actually those rare occasions when liberals and Leftists (selectively) dust-off hoary matters of "original intent" of the American Founders. The most flagrant example being Leftists' arrogating to themselves an utterly specious interpretation of the phrase "high crimes and misdemeanors." They did this for the sake of attempting to save Bill Clinton, that flouter of the very law he signed into legislation*, from both impeachment and possible removal from office. But when Leftists aren't attempting to take the Founders seriously, they can, however, be reliably found dreaming up ever more novel justifications to have living justices' personal predilections serve as the final word in matters jurisprudential. "Final word" -- well, that is, until the next living justice comes along. Which begs an important question: what's really the final (shall we say wicked) word on interpretation? Answer: there is none. A 'living' Constitution in fact means a DEAD Constitution.

Now, one might take a little refuge from such inanity by consulting the unambiguous reasoning and moral realism of one of the most exemplary of the Founders, Alexander Hamilton -- his political reasoning, like that of all the Founders, taking its cue from the mind's rational grasp of certain self-evident principles. It's refreshing to read what Hamilton had to say on the rights of the individual in contradistinction to 'group rights,' a pet cause of the Left.

Note Hamilton's stress that it is individuals, not groups (factions) that society and the Constitution seek to protect. Group rights are unnatural, godless! Hamilton shows that politicized atheism is a self-evident absurdity!!

“[Hobbes’] opinion . . . relative to man in a state of nature . . . held that he was perfectly free from all restraint of law and government. Moral obligation, according to him is derived from the introduction of civil society; and there is no virtue, but what is purely artificial, the mere contrivance of politicians, for the maintenance of social intercourse. But the reason he ran into this absurd and impious doctrine, was, that he disbelieved the existence of an intelligent superintending principle, who is the governor and will be the final judge of the universe . . . To grant that there is a supreme intelligence, who rules the world, and has established laws to regulate the actions of his creatures; and still, to assert, that man, in a state of nature, may be considered as perfectly free from all restraints of law and government, appear to a common understanding, altogether irreconcilable. Good and wise men, in all ages, have embraced a very dissimilar theory. They have supposed, that the deity, from the relations we stand in, to himself and to each other, has constituted an eternal and immutable law, which is, indispensibly, obligatory upon all mankind, prior to any human institution whatever. This is what is called the law of nature which, being coeval with mankind, and dictated by God himself, is, of course, superior in obligation to any other. It is binding over all the globe, in all countries, and at all times. No human laws are of any validity, if contrary to this . . . Upon this law, depend the natural rights of mankind . . . The principle aim of society is to protect individuals, in the enjoyment of those absolute rights which are vested in them by the immutable laws of nature.”

--Hamilton, "The Farmer Refuted," February 23, 1775.

-----

* This being sexual harassment law, of course.
posted by bussorah at 8:10 PM

 


SOME USELESS INFORMATION

Pregnant mothers carrying boys are less forgetful than those carrying girls.

An elephant's tooth can weigh as much as 12 pounds.

Fido means "faithful" in Latin.

Dr. Seuss nearly burned his first book, "And To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street," after it was turned down by 27 publishers.

According to Playboy magazine, more women talk dirty during sex than men.

People who live in cities have longer, thicker and more dense nose hairs than those who reside in the country.

Author Truman Capote's real name was Truman Streckfus Persons.

A man's testicles grow 50% in size when aroused.

Americans write about 50 billion checks each year, making it the second most frequent payment method used after cash.

Every drop of seawater contains about one billion gold atoms.

Midgets and dwarfs almost always have normal-sized children.

David Schwimmer passed on the Will Smith role in Men in Black. Will Smith passed on the lead role in The Matrix.

There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome.

The word "gnat" appears just once in the Bible (in Matthew 23:24).

The colors yellow, red and orange are used in fast food restaurants because those are the colors that stimulate a hunger response.

Iranian women competed in the Olympics for the first time at the 1996 Atlanta Games.

The true identity of Batman's archenemy, the Penguin, was Oswald Cobblepot.

The first American coins were half dimes, spelled "dismes," which were struck in the fall of 1792.

A cat can recognize its owner's footsteps from hundreds of feet away.

Isaac Newton was an ordained priest.







THE NEWS

Feathered dinosaur: "A perfectly preserved fossil of a feathered creature that lived 150 million years ago has provided further evidence to show that modern birds originate from dinosaurs. The fossil is a complete skeleton of an Archaeopteryx and shows that it had features common to birds and a group of meat-eating dinosaurs called theropods. Scientists said the feet of the fossilised Archaeopteryx were anatomically almost identical to those of theropod dinosaurs, which pointed to a common ancestry for both groups. Archaeopteryx had many bird-like features, such as feathered wings and a wishbone, but it also had distinctly reptilian traits, including jaws with teeth, a bony tail and claws on its fingers".


Heartless cops: "A former secretary of the U.S. Commission on Fine Arts received a $5 jaywalking ticket after he was hit by a car and critically injured while crossing a busy street. Charles Atherton, 73, was conscious when he was issued the ticket before being taken to George Washington University Hospital, District of Columbia police told The Washington Post. However, witnesses reported that Atherton was unresponsive and struggling to breathe as he lay crumpled in the road Thursday night. They said he was knocked out of his shoes and his head hit the vehicle's windshield, leaving him bleeding from his head and nose. Police said Atherton received the ticket because he caused the accident by crossing Connecticut Avenue in mid-block. "He was issued a ticket because he was at fault. That's all I can tell you," Lt. John Kutniewski of the police department's major crash investigation unit, told the Post. "If he's outside the crosswalk, he would be at fault." Michael Baker, a witness, said he overheard a police officer "reassuring" the driver involved in the accident that she was not at fault. He said he thought police wrote the ticket "primarily to assuage her." "




Sexy Christians: "A Protestant youth group has put together a 2006 calendar with 12 staged photos depicting erotic scenes from the Bible, including a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson's hair and a nude Eve offering an apple. "There's a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism," said Stefan Wiest, the 32-year-old photographer who took the titillating pictures. Anne Rohmer, 21, poses on a doorstep in garters and stockings as the prostitute Rahab, mentioned in both New and Old Testaments. "We wanted to represent the Bible in a different way and to interest young people," she said. "Anyway, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that you are forbidden to show yourself nude."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:19 PM

 
DEEPER THOUGHTS

Exhibit A example of Leftist reduction of truth to History (or to culture), a phenomenon otherwise known as historicism. Truth becomes 'truth' for the Left.

If Hitler had won World War II, it would have established "fascism [as] the truth of man, and so much the worse for us."

"There is nothing deep down inside us except what we have put there ourselves, . . . no rigorous argumentation that is not obedient to our own conventions. . . . All thought inevitably derives from particular standpoints, perspectives, and interests . . . [Scholars should abandon] the ideal of objectivity and disinterest" that has been the aspiration of Western science and philosophy at least since Socrates.

---Richard Rorty, "The Fate of Philosophy," The New Republic, October 18, 1982, quoted in Sanford Levinson, Constitutional Faith (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1988), p. 176.

posted by bussorah at 3:48 PM

 


SOME EMAIL WISDOM

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

*

I know you may think you know what I said, but I'm not sure that you realize that what you think I said is not really what I meant.

*

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

*

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

*

People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

*

Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

*

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

*

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

*

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

*


We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?

*

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape.

*

Join the Army. Meet interesting people. Then kill them.

*

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

*

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

*

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

*

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

*

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."






THE NEWS

Sexy gear a no-no on the job: "As any woman knows, when you're dressed up to the nines, your confidence soars. But when it comes to the workplace, it might be much better to dress down. Those who don sexy outfits for the office are judged to be less intelligent and less competent, a study reveals... psychologists in the U.S. reached their conclusions after an experiment in which they showed a group of volunteers a video of an advertising firm manager. Half saw footage in which she was freshfaced and wearing sensible shoes, a plain suit and jumper. The other half were shown the same woman wearing make-up and a tight skirt and low-cut blouse. They were then asked to give their impressions of her. The conservatively-dressed version was perceived to be more intelligent, better educated and as having gone to a more eminent university, according to the research published in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly.... Lead researcher Professor Peter Glick said: 'The results have important implications for women who aspire to, or who hold, highstatus jobs. Both men and women judged a female manager more harshly when she presented herself in a sexy manner."




Booze not good for you after all: "After years of telling us that a couple of drinks were good for us by reducing the risk of heart attacks, one team of experts have changed their minds. The team led by Dr Rod Jackson and three colleagues from the University of Auckland in New Zealand, suggest that the apparent protective effect of alcohol may be largely due to confused research. Writing in The Lancet medical journal, they maintain that any benefit from light to moderate drinking is probably small and unlikely to outweigh the harm to health caused by alcohol. If anything, they say the evidence of heart protection is more convincing for heavy drinkers, though the dangers greatly outweigh this benefit. The Auckland team point out that earlier studies were not randomised to avoid confounding errors. For instance, people who stop drinking because of heart problems may be included in studies and misclassified as "never drinkers" in studies. This would lead to the impression that small amounts of alcohol protect against heart disease".




They expected good taste and decorum from Anna Nicole?? "Playboy model-turned-TV personality Anna Nicole Smith turned up drunk and too scantily clad to a Live 8 concert, damaging the reputation of the international charity benefit, a lawsuit filed against a company affiliated with the actress claims. The suit was filed on Thursday (December 1) in Los Angeles federal court and alleges that Smith "damaged Live 8's reputation and goodwill in the entertainment industry by her unbecoming and erratic behavior."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 8:27 AM

 


My Car Speaks For Itself (or: Insults for everyone)

Does your car make a statement? Probably so. Here's a list of cars and the statements they make on their drivers' behalf.

Acura Integra
I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.

Acura Legendary
I'm too bland for German cars.

Acura NSX
I am impotent.

AMC Gremlin
I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.

AMC Marlin
My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.

Audi 90
I enjoy putting out engine fires

Audi 80
I thought the 4000s was too fast.

Austin-Healey 3000
I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well done steak by the time I arrive anywhere.

Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states.

Buick Riviera Convertible
I'm not very smart, and I look like it too.

Buick Electra
Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old technology.

Buick Reatta
I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.

Cadillac Cimarron
I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified Chevrolet.

Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.

Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp.

Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating up people.

Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.

Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life crisis.

Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.

Chrysler 5th Ave
Did the pushpins come free with the headliner?

Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich Corinthian leather.

Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.

Dodge Charger
Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.

Dodge Dart
I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.

Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.

Ford Fairmont
(See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85 in school zones.

Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.

Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.

Geo Tracker
I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.

Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.

Honda Civic
I have just graduated and have no credit.

Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Jeep Wrangler
I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with Jeeps.

Kia Sephia
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.

Lotus Esprit
Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.

Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.

Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.

Mazda Miata
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.

MGB
I am dating a mechanic.

Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what it means either.

Mitsubishi Eclipse GST
Why accelerate? Because you can!

Nissan 300ZX
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Oldsmobile Cutlass
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.

Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.

Plymouth Fury
I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your car in my trunk as a spare.

Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.

Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock.

Porsche 944
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.

Renault 2CV
I think your car is ugly too.

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.

Subaru Legacy
I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu.

Triumph TR6
I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.

Toyota Camry
I am still in the closet.

Volkswagon Beetle
I still watch Partridge Family reruns.

Volkswagon Cabriolet
I am out of the closet.

VW Rabbit GTi
My mom won't let me buy a Porsche 'til I finish Algebra.

VW Jetta
I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I swear.

Volkswagon Microbus
I am tripping right now.

Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife.

Volvo 240
Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front of this guy to slow him down







THE NEWS

Weather cynicism: "Why do we continue to subscribe to one of the greatest snake oil institutions in existence? I don't mean politicians and their promises, economists and their theories or Greenies and their dire predictions. I mean that element of the news, on radio or TV, which since time immemorial has had its own sacrosanct section, eclipsing all but the leading stories. I mean, of course, the weather forecast. What bugs me is the monotonous regularity with which a gullible audience is advised they are currently experiencing a weather pattern which is diametrically opposed to the one they can witness if they turn their attention from the radio or TV to the sky above their very heads.... I have my own method of gauging the weather. I keep a record which tells me what happened on this day the previous year. It's not perfect. But on average, it seems to be no less accurate in its predictions than our meteorologists".


Limbo in Limbo: "The Pope is set to abolish the concept of Limbo, overturning a belief held by Roman Catholics since the Middle Ages. Limbo has long been held to be the place where the souls of children go if they die before they can be baptised. However, a 30-strong international commission of theologians summoned by the late John Paul II last year to come up with a "more coherent and illuminating" doctrine in tune with the modern age is to present its findings to Pope Benedict XVI on Friday. Vatican sources said yesterday that the commission would recommend that Limbo be replaced by the more "compassionate" doctrine that all children who die do so "in the hope of eternal salvation". There is little doubt that the Pope will agree"


Boozing really does rot your brain: "Middle-aged adults who binge drink may face a heightened risk of dementia later in life, a study has suggested. Researchers found even among adults who usually drank moderately, those who occasionally binged were more likely than their peers to develop dementia over the next 25 years. Overall, middle-aged adults who binged at least once a month - downing, for instance, five bottles of beer or a bottle of wine in one sitting - had a three times greater risk of developing dementia, including Alzheimer's disease. The findings were published in the medical journal, Epidemiology. Study co-author Jaakko Kaprio of the University of Helsinki, Finland, said it was not surprising binge drinking was related to a higher dementia risk. But the risk had not been well documented before, he said".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:13 PM

 


DRUNKSPEAK

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Indubitably

Innovative

Preliminary

Proliferation

Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Specificity

British Constitution

Passive-aggressive disorder

Loquacious

Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

"Thanks, but I don't want to have sex"

"Nope, no more booze for me"

"Sorry, but you're not really my type"

"Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?"

"Oh I couldn't, nobody wants to hear me sing...."







THE NEWS

Catnapper: "A love triangle and a $200,000 extortion bid were at the centre of a plot to kidnap a cat, a court has heard. A young lover desperate to prove his affections found himself in the dock yesterday after giving his new girlfriend a pet cat - a cat he had abducted from her ex-boyfriend. Police say Ball the moggie is doing well, but the catnapper faces jail after admitting chivalry got the better of him. The County Court heard yesterday Chinese student Ming Yu, 23, was captured on surveillance camera carrying the pet out of the former beau's city apartment... The court was told the cat burglar demanded $200,000 from its owner, Yi Shu, within days of the abduction on December 27 last year. Asian squad police are investigating claims of several extortion bids among Melbourne's Chinese student population, but this is the first case believed to involve a cat".


British hookers busy: "One British man in 11 has paid for sex, according to a study that appears today in Sexually Transmitted Infections, a specialist journal. The findings are based on two national surveys on sexual habits, conducted among 6000 British men aged 16-44 in 1990 and among 4,700 in 2000. In 1990, 5.6 per cent of the men said they had paid for sex at some point during their lives, with 2 per cent saying they had done this within the previous five years, and 0.5 per cent within the previous year. A decade later, the comparable figures were nearly double. In 2000, almost 9 per cent of men said they had paid for sex, while 4.2 per cent said they had done so in the past five years, and 1.3 per cent in the previous year. Those who in 2000 said they had paid for sex within the previous five years were typically aged between 25 and 34, were single and living in London".


Deadly kiss: "A 15-year-old girl with a peanut allergy died after kissing her boyfriend, who had just eaten a peanut butter snack, hospital officials said yesterday. Christina Desforges died in a Quebec hospital after doctors were unable to treat her allergic reaction to the kiss. Ms Desforges, who lived in Saguenay, about 250km north of Quebec City, was almost immediately given a shot of adrenaline, a standard tool for treating the anaphylactic shock brought on by a peanut allergy, officials said. An autopsy was being performed. Nina Verreault, an allergist at the Chicoutimi Hospital in Saguenay, declined to comment on the case. While the official cause of death has not been released, Karen Sigman, a paediatric allergist, said that remnants of peanuts on the tongue and lips can still cause a reaction in someone who is allergic".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 1:13 PM

 
DEEPER THOUGHTS

Impromptu statements by Leo Strauss on occasion of the death of Winston Churchill

Today (November 30) is the birthday of Winston Churchill. Strauss was a great admirer of Churchill and students tape-recorded each of Strauss's lectures at the University of Chicago. The following are Strauss's lapidary statements on the significance of Churchill, whose death came to the attention of Strauss in the midst of his lecture. He stopped his lecture, saying:

The death of Churchill is a healthy reminder to students of political science of their limitations, the limitations of their craft. The tyrant stood at the pinnacle of his power. The contrast between the indomitable and magnanimous statesman and the insane tyrant--this spectacle in its clear simplicity was one of the greatest lessons which men can learn, at any time.

No less enlightening is the lesson conveyed by Churchill's failure, which is too great to be called tragedy. I mean the fact that Churchill's heroic action on behalf of human freedom against Hitler only contributed, through no fault of Churchill's, to increase the threat to freedom which is posed by Stalin or his successors. Churchill did the utmost that a man could do to counter that threat--publicly and most visibly in Greece and in Fulton, Missouri.

Not a whit less important than his deeds and speeches are his writings, above all his Marlborough, the greatest historical work written in our century, an inexhaustible mine of political wisdom and understanding, which should be required reading for every student of political science.

The death of Churchill reminds us of the limitations of our craft, and therewith of our duty. We have no higher duty, and no more pressing duty, than to remind ourselves and our students, of political greatness, human greatness, of the peaks of human excellence. For we are supposed to train ourselves and others in seeing things as they are, and this means above all in seeing their greatness and their misery, their excellence and their vileness, their nobility and their triumphs, and therefore never to mistake mediocrity, however brilliant, for true greatness.

posted by bussorah at 12:22 PM

 


PEEPING TOM

A girl lives on the 7th floor of an apartment building, and even though it is a fairly good neighborhood she has been having trouble with a Peeping Tom that lives next door...

Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun while wearing her bikini, this peeping tom looks over from his balcony and stares at her...

She has complained to the superintendent about this peeping tom, but he says she must have positive proof before he can do a thing -

She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her...

See here for the picture she got.






THE NEWS

How to stop "hanging out": "A Welsh inventor claims to have found the perfect solution to rowdy youngsters - noise. Howard Stapleton says his device, the Mosquito, emits an uncomfortable high-pitched ultrasonic sound that can be heard by children and teenagers but almost no one over 30. The device has drawn interest from as far afield as Australia, the United States and Canada. It has successfully driven away noisy teens from a grocery store in the Welsh town of Barry and a shop in Mr Stapleton's home town Merthyr Tydfil, making smoking, lounging and foul-mouthed youths a thing of the past. The ability to hear high frequencies deteriorates with age, but some adults might still be able to hear the Mosquito. No one except young troublemakers appears annoyed, however."



Creative is sexy: "The more creative a person is, the more sexual partners he or she is likely to have, according to a new study. Researchers at Newcastle University said this could explain the behaviour of notorious womanisers such as poets Lord Byron and Dylan Thomas and artist Pablo Picasso. Others famed for their sexual activity were US writer Jack Kerouac, Mexican painters and husband and wife Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, and Italian painter Caravaggio. The study found professional artists and poets have about twice as many sexual partners as those who do not indulge in these creative activities. The authors also delved into the personalities of artists and poets and discovered they shared certain traits with mentally ill patients. These traits were linked with an increased sexual activity. A total of 425 British men and women - including a sample of visual artists and poets and schizophrenic patients - were surveyed for the report, which has been published in the academic journal The Proceedings of the Royal Society."



Court undermines pre-nup: "An Iranian man has been ordered by a divorce court to pay his ex-wife one gold coin a month in alimony for the next 10,000 years. Under Iran's marriage law, couples sign a pre-marital agreement where the bride must stipulate the level of compensation they can demand during the marriage or in the event of separation and divorce. In this case the Tehran woman, who was not named, had asked for $US15 million ($20.25 million) worth of gold coins, a state newspaper said. The court ruled the husband should pay her the coins in single monthly instalments, meaning his debt will stay with him for 10,333 years."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:19 PM