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Monday, February 19, 2007
 


A FITTING MEMORIAL

Bill died, leaving a will that provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last of the visitors departed the affair, his wife, Lynne, turned to her oldest friend and said, "Well, I'm sure Bill would be pleased."

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who then lowered her voice and then leaned in close, "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Lynne. "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Lynne replied, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a Memorial Stone? My God, how big is it?"

"Two and a half carats."




SOME KID-TYPE HUMOR

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) is not just an athlete . . . she is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It was causing too much confusion whenever she would answer the phone. When the phone rang and she answered she would say

"Hello, Picabo, I.C.U."






THE NEWS





Carnival in Rio: "In a river of beer, to pounding drums, tens of thousands of revelers took carnival to the streets of Rio behind Cordao do Bola Preta, one of Brazil's oldest samba dance squads. Day two of carnival is traditionally free-form, as roving musicians and partiers gathered near the municipal theatre, or cinelandia, in a street celebration of music, dance and sensuality in the run-up to judging, today and tomorrow, of Brazil's best samba schools in the Sambodromo. On Friday, King Momo, Brazil's symbol of carnival's multiple excesses, received the keys to the city, the official kickoff of five days of carnival. Meanwhile, Cordao do Bola Preta, founded in 1918, takes up the slack, with its infectious samba inciting anyone who chooses to dance. "This is the best thing that could ever happen: the street carnival is back in force here in Rio, and will never go away because the people love it," said Thiago, 35, a government worker. The band, whose name translates roughly as "string of eight-balls," was honoured by fans wearing black or wearing black t-shirts with circles painted on them. Elsewhere, spontaneous orgies of music, drinking and dance popped up in various spots around the city, where streets are covered with empty beer containers, confetti and the like.


Frogs croaking: "A familiar noise that was ancient by the time the first dinosaurs evolved is being silenced by a virulent fungus. The croaks and chirps emitted by frogs and their ancestors for up to 300 million years are under threat around the world. Conservationists estimate 170frog species have become extinct in the past two decades, and fear another 1900 are on the way out. Many have been killed off by the deadly chytrid fungus, which is thought to have spread from Africa to every continent except Antarctica. Faced with the advance of the deadly disease, as well as habitat loss, global warming and pollution, frogs and other amphibians are in serious decline. To counter the threat of mass extinction, scientists called yesterday for every zoo, aquarium and botanical garden in the world to rescue at least one species of frog." [How come they haven't blamed it on global warming? This must be a REAL problem]


Italy: Dolphin `dying of a broken heart' after trainer is killed: "When the young dolphin was rescued from the Adriatic Sea, distressed and bruised, she was nurtured back to health by a dedicated trainer who took responsibility for her care. Now the trainer is dead, the victim of a frenzied attack by her neighbour - and the dolphin, apparently, is dying of a broken heart. The extraordinary story of love emerged yesterday as keepers at the Oltremare water park in Riccione appealed for international help to save the life of their dolphin. Tamara Monti, 37, was stabbed to death at her flat in Riccione by Alessandro Doto, 35, who lived next door with his elderly parents. Yesterday keepers at the water park said that they had lost not only "a marvellous trainer" but were also in danger of losing Mary G, the dolphin that Ms Monti had reared and cared for after it was found two years ago in the harbour at Ancona. The dolphin is refusing her daily diet of milk and squid and has lost 50kg (110lb) since Ms Monti's murder. Her weight has fallen to just 160kg (350lb) and she has failed to respond to medication for a gastric infection. Ms Monti's fiance, Robert Gojceta, has taken charge of the dolphin's care but has been unable to revive her."


Brooklyn bridge next? "Two Macedonian men who stole two 30ft bridges have been arrested after they tried to sell them to a scrapyard. Police said Nikodim Bozinovski and David Gorgievski had taken the two 30-foot bridges over the rivers Crna Reka and Rajec down piece by piece. They were caught after a scrapyard dealer got suspicious when 20 trucks loaded with 200 tonnes of steel turned up at his yard. He called police who traced the parts of the bridge and arrested the two men."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)



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Thoughts both serious and not

For some serious thoughts about our strange systems of justice, see HERE



HOME

EXTRAS

Mirror site here