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THE NEWS



Humorless British local council: "A couple have been ordered to remove their cheeky car wash firm slogan that promised: "The best hand-job in town." The sign on the side of a lorry also showed a bikini-clad blonde soaping down a pink Cadillac. But councillors in Goole, East Yorks, branded it inappropriate and Soapy Rides owners Nigel and Michaela Kennings, both 37, were fined 400 pounds with 600 costs by magistrates. Michaela, 37, said: "It's absolutely ridiculous. The sign has caused great amusement to customers. "We are surrounded by old warehouses and this brightened up the area." A council spokesman said: "We asked a number of times for the sign to be removed."


Diabetic kicked off train: "A 65-year-old St. Louis man is missing after Amtrak personnel, mistaking his diabetic shock for drunk and disorderly behavior, kicked him off a train in the middle of a national forest, according to police in Williams, Ariz. Police said Roosevelt Sims was headed to Los Angeles but was asked to leave the train shortly before 10 p.m. Sunday at a railroad crossing five miles outside Williams. "He was let off in the middle of a national forest, which is about 800,000 acres of beautiful pine trees," Lt. Mike Graham said. Police said there is no train station or running water at the crossing, which is about two miles from the nearest road, at an elevation of about 8,000 feet. Amtrak personnel told police dispatchers that Sims was drunk and unruly. The Sims family said Sims is diabetic and was going into shock. Forget the misdiagnosis concerning his behavior -- how can you you throw someone off a train in the middle of a national forest, two miles from the nearest road???"




Two-year-old becomes youngest ever girl in Mensa: "Her parents knew Georgia Brown was bright. After all, she could count to ten, recognised her colours and was even starting to dabble with French. But it was only when their bubbly little two-year-old took an IQ test that her towering intellect was confirmed. Georgia has become the youngest female member of Mensa after scoring a genius-rated IQ of 152. This puts her in the same intellectual league, proportionate to her age, as physicist Stephen Hawking. According to an expert in gifted children, Georgia is the brightest two-year-old she has ever met. Parents Martin and Lucy Brown have always regarded their youngest child as a remarkably quick learner. She was crawling at five months and walking at nine months. By 14 months, she was getting herself dressed. "She spoke really early - by 18 months she was having proper conversations," Mrs Brown said. "She would say, 'Hello I'm Georgia, I'm one'. She was also putting her shoes on and putting them on the right feet." Georgia was so perceptive that after one outing to the theatre to see Beauty and the Beast she solemnly informed her parents: "I didn't like Gaston (the villain). He was mean and arrogant.""


Canadians fail Canada test: "Two days before Canadians celebrate their nation, a survey has found that more than half of them would not be granted citizenship on the basis of their knowledge of their own country. According to the Ipsos Reid poll, 60 percent of Canadians would fail the citizenship exam, a necessary step for immigrants to be granted citizenship. However, an "outstanding majority'' or 70 percent of newcomers scored a passing grade when administered the same quiz. The results are "frankly disheartening,'' said Rudyard Griffiths of the Dominion Institute. "Immigrants to Canada have accumulated more knowledge about the workings of the Canadian government, key moments in Canada's past, and the geography of Canada than the general Canadian public.'' In 1997, only 45 percent of respondents failed an identical test, indicating that Canadians' knowledge of themselves also appears to be sliding, Mr Griffiths lamented.




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:31 PM

 


No Nursing Home for Me

This is an oldie but goldie. It might even be true

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.

I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises" She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities, which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.







THE NEWS

Dracula was right: "People bitten, clawed or licked by bats infected with rabies can die as a result, but the guilty party will likely live on with impunity, according to a new study. Based on an unprecedented 12 years of bat-watching on the island of Mallorca, the Franco-Spanish investigation into whether the world's only flying mammals pose a public health hazard is simultaneously unnerving and comforting. The study found evidence that a virus (EBLV-1) commonly carried by the Myotis myotis species, native throughout Europe, "can cause a fatal illness, indistinguishable from classic rabies, in non-flying mammal species, including humans,'' the study says. In contrast with their victims, "the survival model shows no variation in mortality after EBLV-1 infection of M. myotis (the bats).'' Though infected with the same virus that induces frothing-at-the-mouth delirium in "non-flying mammals,'' radar-equipped bats are largely immune to their own poison."




No hooting in Dubai: "US restaurant chain Hooters, known for dressing its waitresses in revealing clothes, may face opposition in its bid to expand into the booming city-state of Dubai, a local newspaper reported today. The Kuwati investor who owns the franchise rights for Hooters hoped to open a restaurant in the emirate this year, the English-language Gulf News said. But Dubai's Department of Economic Development said Hooters had not been registered with the department and that it would not allow restaurants that are in violation of the Muslim emirate's "religion, tradition and culture." The restuarant's waitresses, dubbed "Hooters Girls", are known for wearing tight orange shorts and white tank tops or T-shirts. The relatively liberal Gulf emirate of Dubai, one of seven that makes up the United Arab Emirates, is trying to position itself as a global business and tourism hub.


Pickpocket picks a Marine -- unwisely: "Bill Barnes says he was scratching off a losing $2 lottery ticket inside a gas station when he felt a hand slip into his front-left pants pocket, where he had $300 in cash. He immediately grabbed the person's wrist with his left hand and started throwing punches with his right, landing six or seven blows before a store manager intervened. "I guess he thought I was an easy mark," Barnes, 72, told The Grand Rapids Press for a story Tuesday. He's anything but an easy mark: Barnes served in the Marines, was an accomplished Golden Gloves boxer and retired after 20 years as an iron worker. Jesse Daniel Rae, 27, was arraigned Monday in Rockford District Court on one count of unarmed robbery. Barnes said he had just withdrawn the money from a bank machine and put it in the pocket of his shorts before driving to a service station in Comstock Park, a Grand Rapids suburb. He remembers noticing a patron acting suspiciously, asking the price of different brands of cigarettes and other items. While turned away, Barnes felt the hand in his pocket, so he took action. Kent County sheriff's deputies said the store manager quickly came around the counter. The three struggled through the front door, where two witnesses said the manager slammed Rae to the ground and held him there. "There was blood everywhere," said another manager on duty, Abby Ostrom, 25."


Porn for sex offenders in Sweden: "A convicted sex offender in Sweden got a court ruling in his favor on Tuesday, officials said: pornography in prison. The Supreme Court in Stockholm said the country's prison system could not deny an imprisoned rapist his porn magazines. Officials had tried to argue that reading pornography hinders the man's rehabilitation. They claim it increases the risk of the man relapsing into criminal behavior and assaulting other inmates. The court disagreed, saying the prison system had failed to prove the illicit magazines could "jeopardize the security of the institution." Prison authorities said other pornographic material, such as adult movies, TV channels and Web sites, are not permitted in Swedish prisons. Child and violent pornography are also banned."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:00 PM

 


A JOKE IN FRENCH

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and the make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to tell you this one!)

Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse.






THE NEWS

Thief asks cops for 'time out': "PHILIPPINES police chased down an unfit thief today after he ran out of breath and asked his pursuers for a "time out". "He was panting and gasping for air when we caught up with him after a 500 metre sprint," Erwin Buenceso, one of the arresting officers, said on local radio station dzBB. Buenceso said the man and an accomplice broke into a house in the Philippine capital and stole two expensive mobile phones. Screams from the residence alerted a local police patrol, which started chasing him. The robber asked for a "time out" using hand signals. After he regained his composure, police seized the two stolen phones and took him to a station for questioning."


Welsh/Hindu bull to die: "A sacred bull that tested positive for bovine tuberculosis is to be destroyed despite protests from Hindus around the world. Shambo, a six-year-old Friesian, is part of a 52-strong herd of cattle and water buffalo at a Hindu temple in West Wales. Barring a last-minute change of mind, he is likely to be put down on Monday. Jane Davidson, the Welsh Assembly's new Rural Affairs Minister, said yesterday that the slaughter would be carried out despite threats by Hindus to form a protective human chain. Hindus believe all creatures living within the precincts of the temple should be regarded as sacred. The sanctity of cattle is a central tenet of the religion.... Even the Foreign and Commonwealth Office became involved amid fears that the decision to have a "holy" animal killed could lead to a crisis in relations with India. However, Welsh farmers, who have lost hundreds of cattle to TB, have insisted that no exception should be made."


Golfing alligator: "Sometimes it's better just lose a stroke. A golfer in Florida could have lost an arm while he was trying to retrieve a ball on the sixth hole at the Lake Venice Golf Club. A nearly eleven-foot alligator latched on to Bruce Burger's right arm when he reached into a pond to get his ball. He used his free to arm to whack the gator until it released him. A spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says Burger was taken to hospital but wasn't seriously hurt. Course officials note there's a "Beware of Alligator" sign at the sixth hole. Course general manager Rod Parry says it's just "part of Florida."


Man's headache mystery solved when bullet found: "A Florida man awoke with a severe headache and asked his wife to drive him to a hospital, where doctors found a bullet lodged behind his right ear, sheriff's deputies said. "The nurse looked at him and said, 'It appears that you've been shot,'" the Fort Pierce Tribune quoted St. Lucie County Sheriff Ken Mascara as saying. "And he said, 'No way.'" The wife, April Moylan, fled the emergency room when the bullet was discovered but later told deputies she had accidentally shot her husband as he slept early on Tuesday. She was jailed on a weapons violation charge while deputies pursued additional charges. The husband, 45-year-old Michael Moylan, woke up with a head pain so severe he suspected he was having an aneurysm and asked his wife to take him to the emergency room, deputies said. They arrested the wife after obtaining a search warrant and finding a gun and bloody rags in the couple's home near the Atlantic coastal town of Port St. Lucie. The husband was hospitalised in stable condition."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:53 PM

 


CAT SANITATION

THIS WAS WRITTEN BY THE DOG IN THE FAMILY

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.! (?)

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.!!

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.







THE NEWS



A new road safety campaign is hitting Australia's young male speeders where it hurts - their ego: "The latest TV campaign to encourage drivers to respect speed limits features attractive young women wiggling their little fingers at passing speedsters - a taunting gesture in Australia's youth culture that means a guy has a small penis. The new, below-the-belt ad campaign was spearheaded by the New South Wales Roads and Traffic Authority, which claims speeding doesn't make you a big man. "To me the gesture says 'speeding - no one thinks big of you." the authority's spokesman, John Whelan, told the Times of London. "It will cause people who are speeding to think twice about the image they are creating." The young women featured in the ads, however, appear to know exactly what message they're sending, and the young speeders in the ads who notice the gesture appear embarrassed.


Crazy black judge loses: "A judge ruled Monday that no pair of pants is worth $54 million, rejecting a lawsuit that took a dry cleaner's promise of "Satisfaction Guaranteed" to its most litigious extreme. Roy L. Pearson originally sought $67 million from the defendants, claiming they lost a pair of trousers from a blue and maroon suit, then tried to give him a pair a pair of charcoal gray pants that he said were not his. Pearson arrived at the amount by adding up years of alleged law violations and almost $2 million in common law fraud claims. He then lowered the amount he was seeking to $54 million. But District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled that the owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's consumer protection law by failing to live up to Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store window. "A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands" or to agree to demands that the merchant would have reasonable grounds for disputing, the judge wrote."




Hollywood dummy apologises for Maoist slogan: "US actress Cameron Diaz apologised today for wearing a bag with a Maoist slogan that evoked painful memories in Peru. Diaz visited the Incan city of Machu Picchu in Peru's Andes on Friday wearing an olive green bag emblazoned with a red star and the words "Serve the People" printed in Chinese, one of Chinese Communist leader Mao Zedong's most famous political slogan. The bags are marketed as fashion accessories in some world capitals, but in Peru the slogan evokes memories of the Maoist Shining Path insurgency that fought the government in the 1980s and early 1990s in a bloody conflict that left nearly 70,000 people dead. "I sincerely apologise to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realise the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it," Diaz said in a statement emailed to The Associated Press.




Hall of mirrors at Versailles restored: "More than 300 years after its completion in 1684, the newly-revamped jewel in the crown of the Chateau de Versailles will be unveiled to the public on Wednesday after four years of labour by a squad of architects, art historians, carpenters and, above all, specialist arts craftsmen. "We have restored its youth, brightened its marbles, rediscovered its hues," Frederic Didier, chief architect of France's historic monuments, said. "Visitors will have a better idea now of what this festive place was really like." To the tune of 12 million euros ($A19.1 million) provided by French construction and services giant Vinci, the program included a year of detailed historical study followed by three of dusting down, stripping and renovating "from the ground to the ceiling", Didier said, "the most extensive renovation ever." Toured by more than 10,000 people a day on average, the richly-decorated hall facing out onto the Chateau de Versailles' grandly geometric gardens was once a terrace before being turned into a gallery to the glory of "Sun King" Louis XIV."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:12 PM

 


ONCE UPON A TIME...

A man needs to get an artificial eye due to a work injury. The eye doctor shows him a glass eye and a wooden eye. He can only afford the wooden eye so he buys it. He is embarrassed to have a wooden eye and doesn't socialize. He hears of a handicap dance and decides that he would risk going, thinking that no one would make fun of him at the dance since they have disabilities too.

When he gets to the dance he sees a beautiful young lady with a peg leg that no one has asked to dance. He walks up to her and says, "Would you like to dance?"

She says, "Would I?!"

Panicking, he yells back at her, "PEG LEG!!!"







THE NEWS

Teenage girl fights back and beats up muggers: "Three would-be muggers got more than they bargained for when their teenage target fought back and beat them up - and lectured them while she did it. The 17-year-old girl punched the male thug in the groin and let loose on the two females with him when they jumped on her. The trio, who were trying to steal the teen's car, ran off "with their tails between their legs". The incident happened in the undercover car park at Darwin's Casuarina Square last week. The teenager, who did not want to be identified, said she panicked when the trio approached. "I was walking to my car alone and they were yelling out 'give me your keys, give me your car, give me your bag'," she said. "I hopped in the car in a panic and tried to lock the doors but it didn't work. I got dragged out of the car and they hit me a few times. "I kept thinking 'you're not taking my dad's car - I've already damaged it once'. "Then the guy tried hopping in the car and grabbed my handbag but the strap got caught on the gear stick. "I just swung and hit him in the nuts and he hit the ground screaming." The teen said she then elbowed one of the girls in the face - giving her a blood nose - and they ran away."


Odd Chinese beliefs about Britain: "England is a land where ladies take tea and men wear top hats, Chinese students believe before coming to Britain. The reality, they discover, is a far cry from the world of Jane Austen. While older people are friendly and polite and laws are respected, Chinese students claim that they have often been attacked in the streets and are seen as "cash cows" by larger universities seeking to make money. Britain is the second most popular university destination for overseas students, behind America. Last year young people from mainland China and Hong Kong made up one in five of 330,000 students from outside the United Kingdom studying at British universities. One of the most astonishing findings was that most Chinese students relied on the classics and word of mouth to inform themselves about Britain, according to the author of the study, Greg Philo, of Glasgow University. "People use the internet for information on prices, but mostly they rely on Dickens and Pride and Prejudice and news images, often about the Royal Family, as a source," he told The Times. "Just one person mentioned advertising." Before Ying Huang, 23, came to London in June last year, she believed that England would be a "garden of thinking". Studying at the Architectural Association's school of architecture, she said that she was astonished by its young people. "The family I stayed with were very kind and showed me around London, but the young people I met in the bars just partied all night long," she said."




Man-free beach in Italy: "Italy has opened its first women-only beach, away from the prying eyes and wandering hands of the country's notoriously lascivious men. The beach at the resort of Riccione, on the Adriatic coast, is also closed to children, with mothers encouraged to leave their offspring with their father or grandparents. Signs at the entrance to Beach 134 say "No Men". One sign depicts a macho-looking man in a bathing costume apparently ready with his next chat-up line. But he has a diagonal line across his torso, in a manner similar to signs saying "No Dogs". Ironically, dogs are allowed on the "Pink Beach". "This is not a lesbian beach," Fausto Ravaglia, the businessman behind the idea to ban men, said. "It is simply for women to be themselves." Cinzia Donati, 43, a housewife from Milan, agreed. "I've left my husband and son behind - and I feel I've arrived in paradise," she said. The beach was "a really classy place, beautifully clean and well organised. It's perfect for us women. We are so much better off on our own."




French bread not French! "The head of France's most celebrated dynasty of bakers has urged her countrymen to end their love affair with the baguette and revert to what she says is the traditional Gallic loaf. Apollonia Poilane, who took over the family bakery at the age of 18 after the death of her parents in 2002, said that the French stick was not French at all, and that her business refused to sell it. "It was imported from Austria in the late 19th century," said Miss Poilane, who wants her compatriots to return to the wholemeal bread she said they ate beforehand. She said that it was healthier, tastier and longer lasting. Miss Poilƒne, 23, was speaking in the bakery in Central Paris that was opened by her grandfather Pierre in 1932 and made famous by her father, Lionel, after he took over in the 1970s. The speciality is le pain Poilane, a 1.9kg (4lb) round loaf made from grey flour, sea salt and dough left over from the previous batch. It sells for about 8 euros and is widely regarded as France's finest bread."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:33 PM

 


Dubious logic

* Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed * All polar bears are left-handed * If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was nicked by a Polar bear

* 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles * 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles * Work stuffs up your eyesight

* All dogs are animals * All cats are animals * Therefore, all dogs are cats

* A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second * Ten babies are conceived around the world every second * Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of falling pregnant




More dubious logic

Clem asks Abner, "Ain't statistics wonderful?" "How so?" says Abner. "Well, according to statistics, there's 42 million alligator eggs laid every year. Of those only about half get hatched. Of those that hatch, three-fourths of them get eaten by predators in the first 36 days. And of the rest, only 5 percent get to be a year old because of one thing or another. Ain't statistics wonderful?" Abner asks, "What's so wonderful about statistics?" "Why, if it wasn't for statistics, we'd be up to our asses in baby alligators!"





Statisticians' logic

Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York. Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to new York. At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!"




THE NEWS

Canada: Meter maid tickets elderly sleeping man: "Meter maids in Toronto, Canada are more concerned with meeting citation performance measurements than helping out fellow citizens. Last month, Gordon Meggson, 76, had parked his car on a street with little traffic and no scarcity of parking. Instead of driving home tired after a long day's work, he took a nap. At 1:25am, a passing meter maid saw Meggson's vehicle. Despite seeing an elderly man passed out in the driver's seat, the meter maid wrote up a $60 parking ticket and walked away."


Italians to take over British highway food (it can only be an improvement): "Italy's super-rich Benetton family is in talks to buy Little Chef, the chain of roadside restaurants. The family has made an approach through Autogrill, the Italian motorway services company it already owns. Little Chef, which is known throughout the country for its Fat Charlie logo, attracts nearly 20m customers a year, has revenues of 70million pounds and makes profits of 3m. The restaurant chain, which employs 3,200 people, was bought out of administration last January by R Capital. After the approach from Italy, R Capital has appointed Cavendish, the corporate-finance boutique, to pursue talks with Autogrill while exploring all other options. Little Chef operates almost 200 restaurants, including 50 franchised Burger King fast-food outlets."


German breakfast best: "Forget about going to work on an egg - the traditional German breakfast of ham and cheese has been found to be the ideal start to the day. Scientific experiments show the combination has the most significant impact on memory, work rate and attention levels. The foods were also far better than the sugared cereal with which millions of British schoolchildren begin their day. The scientists' analysis was based on the glycaemic load (GL) of the different breakfasts. This measures the rate at which carbohydrates release glucose into the blood stream. Sugary foods, such as cornflakes with two spoonfuls of sugar, accompanied by a waffle and maple syrup, had a high GL and led to a slump in performance by late morning. A breakfast of scrambled egg, bread and jam, accompanied by a yoghurt, had a medium GL score, while ham and cheese, accompanied by a low-fat spread on wholegrain bread, scored best with a low GL."


Prison food too good to leave: "Inmates of an Indian prison are reportedly refusing to apply for bail because the food is so good. Parappana Agrahara prison in Bangalore is crowded with 4,700 inmates, more than twice its capacity. Criminals are refusing to apply for bail to get out while juvenile offenders are lying about their age to get in, reports the Bangalore Mirror. The paper says the reason is healthy food being served by ISKCON, or the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, a Hindu evangelist organisation. ISKCON, commonly known as the Hare Krishna movement, started serving its pure-vegetarian fare in the jail in May under contract from the prisons department. Lunch and dinner typically include piping hot rice, two vegetables and a spicy lentil dish called sambar and buttermilk. A dessert is added on festival days and national holidays like Independence Day, and also once a week. Prisoner Raja Reddy, who has been arrested 20 times in 30 years for theft, robbery and burglary, said: "When we are getting tasty, nutritious food three times a day here, why should we go out and commit crimes."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:45 PM

 


Another "hat" from Britain's Royal Ascot Racecourse

Seen on Ladies' Day







Native wisdom

An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists around. On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, under the sea. The Americans were incredulous.

Then later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air. The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine.

"Jacky," said the tour guide, "what are you tracking and what are you listening for?"

The aborigine replied, "Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971 Valiant ute. It's red. The left front tyre is bald. The front end is out of whack and it has dents in every panel. There are 9 fellows in the back, all drinking warm sherry. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat."

The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.

"Goddammit man, how do you know all that?" asked one.

The Aborigine replied, "I fell out of the bloody thing about half an hour ago."







THE NEWS

Holland: 84-year-old drove 67 years without license: "An 84-year-old Dutch driver astonished police this week when he admitted during a random check that not only was his car uninsured but he had been driving without a license for 67 years. Dutch media said Wednesday the man had escaped detection because he had never got a speeding ticket or been involved in a crash. The man promised police he would ditch his car, which had also never been put through a vehicle safety test, reports added."


Thieves steal car, can't drive it: "Two thieves failed to make their getaway in a car they had just stolen because they couldn't figure out how to use the manual transmission, a witness said. The teenagers armed with a gun approached a man outside a pizza restaurant in Marietta, Georgia, in the United States. They stole his wallet and the keys to his Honda Accord, got into the car but couldn't make it start because it had stick shift, according to John Williamson, 18, a restaurant employee. "The kid was just sitting in the car trying to start it but he had no idea what to do. He looked dumbfounded. The only thing he had going was the radio," said Mr Williamson who witnessed the scene. While the thief was trying to start the car, restaurant employees called the police who arrived and caught the teenagers as they tried to escape into nearby woods. Unlike many parts of the world, the majority of cars in the United States are automatic and many drivers are unused to driving "stick shift" vehicles, in which a clutch pedal must be depressed to change gear."


Robbers' loot becomes excess baggage: "A PASSENGER on a flight from the Latvian capital Riga was surprised to find when she got to Austria that her bag was heavier than before - about $US300,000 ($350,000) heavier. The cash was part of some _4.4 million ($6.9m) that the Bank of Latvia was transferring in three bags to the headquarters of the Raiffesen Bank in Vienna, Austrian television reported. Robbers apparently took the money from one of the bags at Riga airport, but panicked and stuffed thousands of bills into the luggage of a female passenger which then ended up in the hold of the plane. When the woman discovered the cash, she took it to police.")


Ten Commandments for cars: "The Vatican took a break from strictly theological matters Tuesday to issue its own rules of the road, a compendium of do's and don'ts on the moral aspects of driving and motoring. A 36-page document called 'Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road' contains 10 Commandments covering everything from road rage, respecting pedestrians, keeping a car in good shape and avoiding rude gestures while behind the wheel."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 11:16 AM

 


Helpful teacher

A group of second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to their closest midweek race track, to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants and began hoisting the boys up one by one, holding onto their "wee-wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the fourth grade."

He replied: "No, ma'am, I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 7th race today".




The imperonator

An Irishman had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.

He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"






THE NEWS

Ex-Narc sells "how to stash it" DVDs: "Barry Cooper sells a DVD on how to stash pot in your car without getting caught. This fall he will release a second one on how to keep police from raiding your home for marijuana. Now for the kicker: Cooper is a former narcotics officer once considered among the top cops in Texas, where more marijuana is seized each year than in any other state. The formerly straight-laced lawman has become a shaggy-haired militant for the legalization of weed. Six months ago he released 'Never Get Busted Again,' in which the former star of West Texas' Permian Basin Drug Task Force gives tips on hiding marijuana (dashboards are rife with nooks and crannies) and throwing off drug-sniffing dogs (coat your tires in fox urine)."


Indian medical ethics a bit shaky: "An Indian doctor is facing the sack and possible criminal charges after letting his 15-year-old son perform caesarian surgery in a bid to win a place in the Guinness Book of Records Members of an Indian Medical Association branch in the southern state of Tamil Nadu said they were stunned when Dr. K. Murugesan showed them a video of schoolboy Dileepan Raj being let loose with a scalpel on an expectant mother. "How can the doctor convert his nursing home into a butcher's shop by allowing his unqualified son to perform surgery?" the state's health minister, K.K. Ramachandran, said. "I am ordering an inquiry and tough action will be taken," he said. Medical sources said the baby was born with a congenital defect unrelated to the surgery and was believed to be alive. Officials will also be looking for the mother, who has the option of filing a complaint to police. The video also allegedly showed the doctor giving the pregnant mother a spinal anesthetic, even though he was not qualified to do so. Dr Murugesan, however, is unrepentant over his action" [See also here]


Rats get sloshed, anger police: "Rats are gnawing at beer cans and making holes in caps of whisky bottles stored in police storehouses in eastern India and apparently getting drunk. The rodents' love for liquor has the police department in Bihar state stumped as it tries to store hundreds of bottles seized from illegal sellers from across the state in Patna, the state capital, said Kundan Krishnan, a senior officer. "We are fed up with these drunk rats and cannot explain why they have suddenly turned to consumption of alcohol," he said. The problem costs revenue as the seized liquor is usually sold through auctions, he said. Rats were also attacking people near the police buildings, nibbling at their toes, although it was not clear if they were under the influence, officials and witnesses said."


That famous airline customer service again: "A Cathay Pacific Airways yet spent more than seven hours parked at a San Francisco International Airport gate Tuesday while the nearly 400 passengers on board waited for a flight to Hong Kong that never happened. Flight CX873 was supposed to takeoff at 1:20 a.m., but the people who boarded just after midnight were not let off until 7:30 a.m., when the flight was canceled because of equipment trouble. "We sat there three hours before they said anything," said Mark Valenta, a newlywed for whom the flight was to have been the start of a dream honeymoon to Asia. "Then the PA system went down, the lights were going on and off, babies were crying, it was a nightmare."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:08 PM

 


Let's be unbiased









THE NEWS

Easy hooking up with beautiful blondes very popular (strangely): "Latvia's capital risks becoming a Baltic Bangkok and local girls need to be steered away from one-night stands with tourists, organisers of a media campaign to stop sex tourism said today. Like other Eastern European capitals, Riga has become a popular destination for groups of men on stag nights, celebrated by a groom with his friends before getting married. This has led to a boom for pubs, clubs and strip bars and concern over a growing sex industry. "Riga is at risk of becoming a Baltic Bangkok and I'm starting to worry about the image of my country abroad," said Martins Kozlovskis, creative director of PR company Alfa Centrs, which is leading a Stop Sex Terrorism campaign. The campaign is aimed at local girls, showing them the dangers of getting involved with tourists. This would eventually lessen the image of Riga as a destination where cheap alcohol and girls are the main attraction for male tourists, the organisers say."


Germany: Student stages robbery to wipe bad grades: "A 16-year-old Berlin student was so worried he would have to repeat a year at school because of poor marks he convinced two friends to storm his class and steal the report cards with his bad grades. ... The youth sat quietly at the back of the classroom as the two masked robbers, aged 14 and 15, burst in and threatened his teacher with a steel bar if she did not hand over the reports. After grabbing them, the two tried to flee but dropped the reports as other students leapt to defend the teacher. The two were arrested close to the school, and told police their friend had devised the raid because he was afraid of flunking a year."




'Stand back, give the rat some air': "Rats may not be everyone's favourite animal, but firefighters thought highly enough of one to save it from a house fire in Pocatello, Idaho this week. Firefighters trying to put out a huge fire at an apartment in the southeastern Idaho town were amazed to see a live rat huddled in a charred cage, the AHN website reported. After being rescued, Halo the rat received oxygen with a special cone-shaped animal resuscitation mask. Firefighter Kirby Jonas, who rescued Halo, said he was pretty sure anything in the cage could not have survived the flames. "If I were betting money, I would have put down $10,000 that anything in that cage was dead," Mr Jonas told the Idaho State Journal. Halo was not the only lucky one rescued from blaze. Firefighters also rescued four of five cats in the apartment. No one was home at the time of the fire, which officials blamed on an electrical fault."


New low in airline service: "Passengers on board a transatlantic flight had to cover their noses for hours after sewage started overflowing from the plane's toilets, US news site King5.com reported. Things started to go wrong on the Continental Airlines flight 1970 from Amsterdam to Newark, New Jersey about two hours after the plane left Amsterdam. Passengers were told the toilets were out of order, and the plane then made an unscheduled landing in Shannon, Ireland, so the problem could be fixed overnight, King5.com reported. However, after the plane took off for New Jersey the next day, the sewage again started overflowing, seeping into the aisles. "I've never felt so offended in all my life. I felt like I had been physically abused and neglected. I was forced to sit next to human excrement for seven hours," passenger Colin Brock said. Mr Brock said there was one partially-working toilet on the plane and more than 200 passengers. According to king5.com, Mr Brock also said the flight attendants - who went ahead with the meal service - told everyone to not eat or drink too much. "To be told that we were supposed to monitor what comes out the other end of us was insulting," said Mr Brock."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:16 PM

 


Warning: Puns coming up

(1) King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

(2) Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the Swiss league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire, and we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

(3) A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

(4) A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

(5) Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"

(6) A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

(7) An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

(8) A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

(9) There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

(10) A sceptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

(11) By the way, the guy who wrote the 10 puns above entered them in a contest. He figured with 10 entries, he couldn't lose. As they were reading the list of winners, he was really hoping one of his puns would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.)

(12) In my youth I was told about a stadium full of Basques who were watching football, when someone shouted 'Fire!', and a lot of people were killed stampeding out, which goes to show how silly it is to put all your Basques in one exit!






THE NEWS

Men just look at faces - honest: "Men are more likely to look at a woman's face before any other part of her body when studying sexy pictures but women go straight for the rude bits, a new study has found. America's Emory University study also found women would look at pictures of heterosexual sex for longer than men, according to the Associated Press. The findings are published in the journal Hormones and Behaviour. Emory psychologist Kim Wallen and his former graduate student Heather Rupp showed still photos of couples having sex to 30 women and 15 men between the ages of 23 and 28. Each was rigged up with a high-tech eye-tracking device to measure where his or her gaze went first, and how long it stayed there. Men went straight to the face and lingered for a while, but most of the women were more interested in the sexual activity. There were also diffferences between the behaviour of women on hormone-filled contraceptive pills and those who weren't. Those on the pill were were interested in the overall view of the photos and background items like jewellery, but women not on the pill were more interested in areas normally covered by clothing."




(Above) Islamic influence on a grand English social occasion? Ascot is known for the fancy hats that ladies wear and the above is allegedly a hat but .....


French officials love an evil Anglo-Saxon device: "French officials are grumbling about government restrictions on the use of handheld Blackberry devices and some are using theirs in secret, the daily Le Monde reports. "You have the feeling of wasting an incredible amount of time," the paper quoted one exasperated senior official as saying. "You have to relearn how to work in the old way." Le Monde said the SGDN, a security service in the prime minister's office, which circulated a note 18 months ago warning about the use of Blackberries for sensitive government communications, had been forced to reissue its note. It said SGDN officials said there could be no question of letting sensitive government information get into foreign hands. The devices, made by Canadian company, Research In Motion, can send emails or be used as mobile telephones and have become firmly established as a required accessory for important people everywhere. Le Monde said officials feared messages could be intercepted by U.S. agencies such as the National Security Agency because they ran through servers in the United States and Britain."


Blackberries conquer British parliament too: "MPs are likely to be allowed to bring BlackBerrys into the Commons chamber for the first time so that they can check and send e-mails as they wait to speak in debates. It comes after a revolt by MPs against Commons rules that require them to sit for up to six hours on the back benches before they are called to make a speech. Younger MPs, particularly the new generation of women elected in 2005, protested that their time spent waiting to speak in the chamber was wasted because of a convention barring MPs from using handheld devices. ... The move was embraced by the modernisation committee to encourage more MPs to attend the Commons chamber. It also proposed more but shorter debates and tighter time limits on MPs' speeches, to allow more backbenchers the chance to speak."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:24 PM

 


THE COOLEST KID IN THE SOUTH

I am sure everyone will love this song video -- particularly if you have any feeling for the South.

Click here







THE NEWS

Expensive drink: "It could have been the smartest $1.75 this man ever spent - and the most financially prudent. However, instead of forking out for a drink with unlimited refills at Hungry Jack's, Aisa Salesa chose to steal it and ended up with a free trip to the magistrate's court. Salesa was yesterday fined $350 in the Ipswich Magistrate's Court – 200 times more than the cost of the drink. Salesa attempted to sneak a free drink at the Hungry Jack's restaurant at Booval, 37km southwest of Brisbane, on May 21. When staff challenged him over the drink, the 20-year-old threatened to attack them with a hamburger and told them he would "smash" them. Salesa yesterday pleaded guilty in the Ipswich Magistrate's Court to one count of being a public nuisance. Prosecutor Constable Jo Little said Salesa became aggressive when restaurant staff confronted him. "(Salesa) threatened to throw a burger in their face and smash them," Constable Little said. Salesa, who appeared without legal representation, said he had nothing to say when asked if he wanted to respond to the prosecution's version of events."



Suspected gangster arrested using FIVE cellphones on Japanese plane: "Japanese police have arrested a suspected gangster after he ignored an airline captain's order to turn off his five mobile phones as the plane was taking off. Naoyuki Shimoda, a 34-year-old DVD sales clerk, was arrested today on suspicion of violating the Aviation Law by ignoring the captain's order when he was on board an aircraft taking off from Tokyo's Haneda airport, a police spokeswoman said. He was arrested following a police investigation into the incident which occurred in March. Shimoda, who was suspected to be linked to a major crime syndicate, "repeatedly used his mobile phones despite the captain's order not to use them", the police spokeswoman said. Following the captain's order, Shimoda said "Shut up! Why don't you call police" while continuing to use his mobile phones, public broadcaster NHK reported, citing police sources. It was the first arrest in Japan for using a mobile phone on an aircraft in flight and is punishable by a fine of up to Y500,000 ($A5,000). After the police investigation, Shimoda admitted the offence and told investigators it took him a while to turn off the mobile phones, NHK reported. It was not known why he was carrying five phones."




Mystery British maze: "The conservationists who have restored a rare medieval earth and grass maze say they are no closer to knowing why and when it was made. Julian’s Bower, cut into the landscape at Alkborough, North Lincolnshire, above, is a labyrinth of interlocking rings measuring 44ft across. English Heritage unveiled the restored monument yesterday after a three-month closure for returfing. Its origins are a mystery, although it is mentioned in medieval documents, but it may combine elements of Greek myth, medieval penitence and innocent fun and games. The maze is similar to a floor in the 13th-century French cathedral of Chartres. There pilgrims followed the circular route, sometimes on their knees, as an act of peity, penitence or meditation. Claims are made for a similar origin for Julian’s Bower. The Alkborough maze has been returfed with a specially hard-wearing grass mix, as used for top football pitches, to help it to stand up to visitors’ footsteps."


Update on marvellous Welsh singer: "The mobile-phone salesman who triumphed in the Britain’s Got Talent series with his version of Nessun Dorma is poised for a new career as the “people’s Pavarotti”. Paul Potts, 36, won the 100,000 pound prize and a place on the bill of the Royal Variety Performance after impressing the judges and 12 million viewers of the ITV1 show. Now the former Tesco shelf-stacker from Port Talbot, South Wales, is set to fulfil his dream of being an opera star. Potts begins recording his debut album this week and has received a string of concert offers. He is lining up a duet with Katherine Jenkins, the Welsh singer.... The overnight sensation said that he was not certain that he would give up his job. He was planning to pay off his £30,000 debts and would treat himself to dental work. “I’m not sure about veneers but I do want to get the crown repaired,” he said. “It would be nice to be able to smile naturally.” Potts spent 4,000 pounds on master classes with the likes of Pavarotti but has not had any tuition for four years. He recalled: “Pavarotti took me aside and asked me to sing again. There were ten other people there and I was the only one he asked, so I took that as a compliment.”



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:05 PM

 


OLD MEN AND FOOTBALL

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day

Mike says, "Joe, we both loved footy all our lives, and we played footy on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's footy there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.



Shortly after that, Joe passes on.



At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike."

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's footy in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play footy all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?




"You're in the team for Saturday ."
;

;
(I thought they were going to say, they are playing soccer).






THE NEWS

Ability to speak English a handicap if you want to teach English in France: "An American has rocked the educational establishment of France by daring to challenge the way that English-language teachers are trained for the classroom. Laurel Zuckerman has split the academic world with a book that relates her experience at the heart of the archaic French teacher-training system. Her account reveals the extraordinarily arcane and ar-guably irrelevant questions asked of would-be English teachers. And it highlights the ambivalence of the country's approach to English, which is seen, at best, as a necessary evil. Mrs Zuckerman's book was inspired by her own failed attempt to obtain a qualification to teach English in France. The 47-year-old from Scottsdale, Arizona, had expected that her anglophone origin would be an advantage. But after a year on a teaching course at the Sorbonne in Paris she realised that she had been mistaken. "I have come to the conclusion that native English speakers are actually at a disadvantage," she said. A finely honed Cartesian mind and a firm grasp of the French language are among the qualities that are required of les professeurs d'anglais, she discovered. The ability to teach or even speak English is not, however. "They are excluding people who don't have the right mindset," she said. "It's a way of protecting themselves."


Man fails exam for 38th time: "A 73-year-old Indian farmer who vowed not to marry before passing his high school exams has failed to get through for the 38th time. Shiv Charan Yadav has been taking the exams - normally given to schoolchildren aged 15 - every year since 1969, without success. This year, he failed everything except Sanskrit. Mr Yadav, who lives on his own in a small village, was in his 30s when he decided to better himself through education. "Once I pass, I want to get married to a girl under 30," the ever-optimistic permanent student said."


Newton's fourth law: apocalypse: "Renowned British scientist Sir Isaac Newton, the father of modern physics and astronomy, predicted the world would end in 2060 in a 1704 letter that went on show in Jerusalem today. A famed rationalist, who secured a royal exemption so that he would not have to follow the teachings of the Church of England, Newton nonetheless based his prediction on a Biblical text. Working from verses in the Book of Daniel, the elaborator of the classical laws of gravity, motion and optics argued that the world would end 1260 years after the foundation of the Holy Roman Empire in western Europe in 800 AD. The letter, on show at Jerusalem's Hebrew University as part of an exhibition entitled "Newton's Secrets", is part of an array of papers of the British scientist bequeathed to the institution by a wealthy collector of scientific manuscripts."




Gas lamps still in London: "The 200th anniversary of the first gas street lights in London will be celebrated in a lamplighting ceremony today. British Gas's longest-serving lamp attendant, Martin Caulfield, 65, will light a lamp in Pall Mall, the first street in the world to be lit by gas lamps, using a traditional pole for the first time since they were switched to an automatic timing system in 1985. He will be joined by former and serving attendants and Carolyn Keen, the Lord Mayor of Westminster, will unveil a plaque at the ceremony. There were once more than 60,000 gas lamps in the capital. The vast majority have been converted to run on electricity, but about 1,600 remain at such landmarks as Buckingham Palace, St James's Palace, the Palace of Westminster, Westminster Abbey and the Mall. These are attended to daily by British Gas's team of six gas lamp attendants, who maintain the clocks that switch the lights on at dusk until dawn."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 11:43 PM

 


The Talking dog

A young farm lad from North Iowa goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at Iowa State that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. I'll get him into the course. So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited.

"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'so, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

(The kid went on to be a successful lawyer........)







THE NEWS

Tanned tradesmen more of a turn on than money: "Australian women would rather date tradies than wealthy doctors and lawyers, a poll has found. Carpenters topped the desirability list, followed by tilers, painters, builders and plumbers, according to the 950 women surveyed by job website www.linkme.com. A string of university degrees and academic accolades did not boost the appeal of professional men in the sexy stakes. According to the website Australians are becoming less concerned with titles and status and more concerned with finding a job that allows them to live a healthier lifestyle. There is an idealised view of tradespeople, linkme.com boss Campbell Sallabank said. The life seems sexy - out in the sun all day, physical work, less stress and great pay. Melbourne model booker Sally Meagher, who is married to Ben, a carpenter, believes the sexy tradies portrayed on Desperate Housewives and celebrities Tom Williams and Jamie Durie had boosted the image of the chippie"


Rampaging squirrel injures three: "A SQUIRREL attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch. The squirrel ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said. With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off. The animal then ran into a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole. "After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."




Pageant open to yummy mums: "The Miss Spain beauty contest will allow mothers and transsexuals to compete for the title for the first time, in order to avoid discrimination. The move comes after widespread criticism of the contest's decision to dethrone a 22-year-old beauty queen in February when it emerged she had a young son. Angela Bustillo [above], who won the title of Miss Cantabria, said she was being discriminated against because fathers could compete for Mister Spain."


Seattle city hall to ban popcorn: "The Justice Center has been evacuated eight times in three years, forcing the evacuation of more than 400 people. If the problem continues, it will result in a ban of all microwave popcorn. Popcorn is not the easiest thing to cook. Who knows if it's really two, two-and-a-half or three minutes? An unsupervised bag can destroy productivity for all your co-workers. But just the mention of a possible ban at city offices gets a number of responses. "Perhaps what would happen is there'd be an underground market for microwave popcorn, people would sneak the microwaves into their offices, they'd do illicit popping," says Frank Video, a staff member for the Seattle City Council. Is it possible that if popcorn is outlawed, only the outlaws will have popcorn? "You know, it's not something that we have talked about in that much detail yet," says Vasquez. A spokesman for Mayor Greg Nickels says the Mayor does not eat popcorn. The City just wants employees to follow this simple rule: Listen to the pop to know when to stop. The Facilities director admits even his wife has burned a bag or two."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:13 PM

 


Last Supper

An elderly Polish man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite pierogi with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite pierogi.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the pierogi was already in his mouth. With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

"Back off!" she said. "Those are for the funeral."




OLDSTER PROBLEMS

As part of his yearly physical exam, the doctor requested a sperm count from his 85-year-old male patient.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened. The man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, but still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open".







THE NEWS

Cheap alcohol killing Russians: "Drinking 'surrogate' alcohol - such as eau de colognes and antiseptics - may be responsible for nearly half of all deaths among working-age men in Russia. The findings have been published in British medical journal The Lancet. "It's an astounding finding," said Richard Peto, a professor of medical statistics and epidemiology at Oxford University, who was not connected to the study. "Evidence is emerging from other areas to suggest this is a nationwide problem," Prof Peto said. The research suggests that despite Russia's economic resurgence in the past decade, it still faces social and health problems, especially in provincial areas. David Leon of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and colleagues looked at all the deaths of men aged 25 to 54 in Izhevsk, in the Urals, from 2003 to 2005. Dr Leon and colleagues concluded that 43 per cent of deaths were caused by hazardous drinking. They did not have statistics on the toll that regular alcohol took, but according to data from 2002, in the European subregion including Russia, 19 per cent of male mortality was attributable to all types of alcohol. In Western Europe, the comparable figure was three per cent. The life expectancy of a Russian man was 59 years in 2004 - lower than the 62 years for a man in Bangladesh.


Little Australian town splurges on really grand piano: "A North Queensland council so dysfunctional it was sacked by the State Government spent more than $250,000 on a piano for its town hall. The Johnstone Shire Council planned to put the top-of-the-range Steinway Model D in the Innisfail town hall, which was damaged during Cyclone Larry last March. The piano, more commonly used by international performers at major venues, is one of only about 20 in Australia. The council arranged the purchase in February, just before it was sacked, using a cyclone damage insurance payout covering two pianos which had been in the town hall. It also applied for a $68,000 State Government grant to help meet the purchase price. The Steinway is sitting in a Brisbane shop awaiting delivery when the hall is repaired. The Steinway was described by piano academic and performer Christian Gante as the best. To play on a Steinway for a lot of pianists is the ultimate, but to play on a Model D is the ultimate ultimate," Mr Gante said. ... Innisfail's Johnstone Shire Council was embroiled in controversy last year over its poor financial management and culture of bullying and infighting, leaving it incapable of serving its 8000 residents. Local Government Minister Andrew Fraser sacked it in February, installing administrator Graham Webb." [Click here to see and hear the piano concerned]




Sacred stairs restored: "One of the Catholic Church's holiest relics, which contains the steps believed to have been climbed by Jesus on his way to trial before Pontius Pilate, has been restored to its former glory. The Santa Scala, or Holy Stairs, were brought to Rome from Jerusalem in the fourth century and placed in the former papal palace opposite the basilica of St John Lateran. However, restorers found that the sanctity of the staircase had not had an effect on the behaviour of some tourists. "We found chewing gum stuck to the wood of the stairs," said Alessandra Scerrato, the secretary of the Friends of the Holy Stairs association. The 28 white marble steps, which are encased in wood for their protection, are so holy that pilgrims are allowed to ascend only on their knees. The kneeling position also allows them to gaze through holes in the wood that allegedly reveal spots of Christ's blood on the marble beneath. Pilgrims who ascend the staircase are given a full indulgence of their sins. Charles Dickens, who visited the staircase in 1845, was unimpressed by the Catholic ritual, calling it a "dangerous reliance on outward observances". He added: "I never, in my life, saw anything at once so ridiculous and so unpleasant as this sight."




Line up for Jessica: "The girl of your dreams, Jessica Alba, has said she is keen for a one-night stand - as long as you leave the next morning. In an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine, the stunning 23-year-old star of The Fantastic Four said she loved experimenting in sex. "I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don't think a girl's a slut if she enjoys sex," she told the magazine. "I could have a one-night stand, and I'm the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, 'Do you really have to be here?' I don't need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don't try to make it more. "I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don't feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don't really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:22 PM

 


Another beautiful singing video today:

Also from London. Just a very simple song this time but beautifully done

Click here






Nice Jewish girl does well

Alicia Silverstone (Silberstein?) below has made it into the top ten sexiest superheroes of all time -- in a poll of movie buffs. Pic below from "Batman & Robin"







THE NEWS

Baby bears find train breakfast just right: "Three adventurous bear cubs have been hopping aboard freight trains travelling through the Canadian Rockies, and gorging themselves on the grain cargo. The young black bears have been discovered and ejected twice from grain-laden trains travelling through the Yoho National Park in the Canadian west, according to a CBC report. Park officials believe the bears, hungry after a long hibernation, got aboard with their mother when the train stopped, but that the mother leaped back to the ground when the train started up again, leaving the cubs to ride along and munch away until they were discovered. The first time they were returned to their mother, but two days later they were back aboard again."


Baggy trousers' wearers risk six months in jail: "In the United States, residents of a small Louisiana town face a $300 fine, or up to six months in jail, for being caught wearing trousers that show underwear or private parts. Delcambre Town Council unanimously passed the anti-sag law earlier this week after baggy trousers became a fashion item, particularly among young men in the hip-hop culture. Mayor Carol Broussard denies there is any racial motivation behind the move, insisting anybody who wears these pants should be held responsible. The mayor says the law applies to men and women."


Science wakes up to women's sex dreams: "Men may spend infinitely more of their waking time thinking about sex than women, but both genders dream about the subject in equal measure once the lights are out. That surprising finding comes from a small Canadian study and flies in the face of previous research that suggested the gentler sex had far fewer erotic dreams than the male of the species. But that's where the similarities end. For the most part, male and female sex fantasies, even in the land of nod, tend to conform to gender stereotypes, the author of the study says. While women tend to fantasise about film stars, politicians, rock stars or lovers past and present, men tend to visualise themselves making love to multiple partners in public or unknown settings. The women who took part in the study were twice as likely to have dream scenarios featuring celebrities - such as actors Brad Pitt or George Clooney, or Irish rocker Bono - as their male counterparts. The men, on the other hand, reported dreams featuring multiple sex partners twice as often as the women. Lovers past and present turned up in 20 per cent of the women's dreams but only 14 per cent of the men's dream sequences. In their fantasy worlds, the men almost never had to put their ego on the line and come on to a woman. In about 90 per cent of the erotic dreams they logged and reported to investigators, the women made the first move."


Tripod proves his worth: "A three-legged dog has saved a family from a house fire in Dalby overnight. Around 11.30pm the family were woken by the dog barking and found the Duncans Road house alight. The parents and their two children, aged four and two, were able to escape the house uninjured. The fire is believed to have been caused by a heater. The house, which is nearly 100 years old, was almost completely destroyed."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:19 PM

 


NESSUN DORMA

I imagine that only a small minority of readers here ever listen to opera. I have however just heard a rendition of the great Puccinia aria "Nessun dorma" that I think should get through to just about everybody. It is from a recent performance at a talent quest in England.

To listen, click here. It was a stunning experience for me so I hope some others get that too.






THE NEWS

Featherbrain comment on rich women: :Women are predominately fluffy creatures who max out our credit cards and would marry a sugar daddy at the drop of a hat, right? Wrong. Beware the sugar mummas, for new research shows that less than a quarter of female millionaires attribute their financial status to marrying into wealth. And - get this - there will be more female millionaires than male millionaires by the year 2020! That's right, rich chicks - no blokes required. Increasingly I'm finding that, while we love a serious beauty splurge or sneaky fashion spend, my girlfriends are money savvy. More so, in fact, than many of their male partners. One girlfriend is starting her own business and managing the finances so she and her fianc‚ can buy another investment property. Another is single, seriously climbing the career ladder in advertising and just bought her own home while yet another has had a bub but is returning to work after six months because she is the main breadwinner in the family. Despite new books on the market like Sugar Daddy and another that's a woman's true story of her search for a sugar daddy, the whole concept is so very last century. Attitudes - and traditional roles in relationships - are changing. We are quite capable of starting businesses, making investments, becoming managers, accumulating wealth and wearing new season lipstick and sporting fab highlights while we're at it."


Senator resigns after using ambulance as taxi: "An Italian senator has said he would resign after a weekend stunt in which he feigned heart problems so an ambulance would take him to a television studio where he was set to appear on a show. Right-wing senator Gustavo Selva, 80, found himself stuck in a massive traffic jam after central Rome had been all but shut down due to US President George W. Bush's visit to the Italian capital. After trying in vain to convince police officers to escort him through the deadlock to the studios of private television channel 7, where he was scheduled to appear in a programme, the senator pretended to be suffering from heart troubles, demanding that an ambulance take him to his cardiologist. Once on air, Selva, a former journalist, admitted he had used "an old journalist trick'' to get to the studio. But the stunt prompted outrage in Italy, where a heated debate on the privileges of the political class in the country has been raging for weeks."




New model sausages - kiwi, cherry and aloe vera: "Hoping to spice up their summer business, German butchers have introduced a new line of exotic-tasting sausages with flavors ranging from kiwi, maraschino cherry, lemon and even aloe vera. The wide variety of new ingredients may seem like heresy to what is for many ordinary Germans the national dish. But for others the new flavours may help negate stagnant demand for the greasy Bratwurst you can find on almost any street corner. Berlin butcher Uwe Buenger has developed a "chili-honey" Bratwurst while rival Dankert has come up with a "kiwi wurst" that also includes pineapples and maraschino cherries, Bild newspaper has reported. For sausage connoisseurs, there is also the "Truefflebratwurst" that includes truffle, a fungus spiced with black and white pepper. Other sausages in Berlin are made of lamb, ginger, parsley, cardamom and edible blossoms."


Malaysian man weds at mother's funeral: "A Malaysian man overcame his grief over his mother's death to get married at her funeral and fulfil her wish of being present at the nuptials, reports say. P. Sanjeevi Rajan married his bride R. Sasikalah in front of his mother's coffin during the funeral Tuesday at his family home in central Selangor state. "I could have got married in the temple later, but would my mother be there? At least now, my mother is still here. It means the world to me,'' Mr Rajan, 28, was quoted as saying by the New Straits Times. "It's both the saddest and happiest day for me in one go,'' the tearful bridegroom said. His mother, K. Narani, 47, died from a heart attack in India on Sunday while shopping for accessories for the wedding originally scheduled for June 30, the newspaper said. The combination wedding and funeral was suggested by P. Sanjeevi Rajan's father, Perumal, who said he should honour his mother's dream of seeing her son married. The ethnic Indian couple performed traditional Hindu wedding rites before the coffin".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:37 PM

 


German humor

Yes. It does exist. I rarely put up links to videos but this one is too good to pass up. Don't mind that the dialog is in German. Just watch for a minute or two. Anybody who has ever done a first-aid course will certainly understand

Click here





THE NEWS

Dumb coppers: Police road spikes left behind, stolen: "An opportunistic thief has stolen a set of police road spikes left behind after an arrest in Adelaide. Police say the spikes were left in a pawnbroker's car park in Adelaide's inner west after officers arrested a man about 9.30am CST yesterday. Police had removed the spikes from behind the driver's seat of the police car so the arrested man could be put in the vehicle. But the officers forgot the spikes and they went back, the the spikes were gone, a police spokesman said. "The road spikes could potentially be harmful to any person if not used properly," the spokesman said."




Rome reborn: "Rome's monuments may be crowded with tourists, crippled by time and damaged by pollution, but the glory days of this ancient imperial city are alive and well - inside a computer. Experts from around the world today unveiled what they called the largest and most complete simulation of a historic city, which digitally recreates Rome as it appeared at the peak of its power. When in virtual Rome, visitors will be able do to even more than ancient Romans did: They can crawl through the bowels of the Colosseum, filled with lion cages and primitive elevators, and fly up for a detailed look at bas-reliefs and inscriptions placed atop triumphal arches. The simulation shows Rome in AD 320, at the time the emperor Constantine, and reconstructs some 7,000 buildings of a vibrant and cosmopolitan city that housed about 1 million people, said Bernard Frischer, an expert from the University of Virginia who led the project. Thanks to laser scans of Rome today and advice from archaeologists, experts have rebuilt almost the entire city within its 21-kilometre-long wall using the same computer programs architects use to plan new constructions, said Frischer, who heads Virginia's Institute for Advanced Technology in the Humanities. The $US2 million ($A2.38 million) Rome Reborn simulation was created over 10 years by an international team"




Fun in London: "Passengers landing at Gatwick airport are being greeted by a giant naked pole dancer. The 9,000 sq m (100,000 sq ft) image is painted on grassland under the incoming flight path. Planning officers are investigating whether permission was granted for the advertisement, which promotes a website. The Council to Protect Rural England said that the display was "a tacky advert which set a nasty precedent".


Stupidity gets its reward: "Two parents in Virginia have started a two-year prison sentence for serving $400 worth of beer and other alcohol at their son's 16th birthday party. The drinking age in the US is 21, but Elisa Kelly, 42, and George Robinson, 52, decided to buy alcohol for their son Ryan's party, which was attended by about 30 people 12 and 18 years old, on August 16, 2002. Concerned that the teenagers would drink without supervision, the parents said they had bought alcohol with the understanding that the teens would spend the night at their place and collected car keys to prevent drunk driving. After receiving three calls reporting possible under-aged drinking, police broke up the party near Charlottesville, Virginia, after arriving about 11pm and arrested Kelly and Robinson. The parents, who have since divorced, were sentenced to four years and six months in prison - six months for each of the nine teenagers who were found to have "measurable levels'' of alcohol in their system. Half the sentence was suspended. Robinson and Kelly, who were imprisoned yesterday, appealed the sentence to the Supreme Court, which refused to hear their case on May 21."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:56 PM

 


CONDOM TRUTH

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....."






THE NEWS

Amazing idea: British food for India: "Just as Britons’ favourite dish is chicken tikka masala, a London chef reckons that Indians will like an Asian version of bangers and mash. From next month Manju Malhi will be presenting a 40-episode cookery series on British food for India’s largest commercial television channel. She hopes to improve the dire reputation of British cuisine in India by teaching viewers how to prepare the classic dishes with local ingredients. Ms Malhi, who is filming in Delhi this month, said: “Curry has become so popular in Britain, I thought I’d swap it around.” Her shepherd’s pie, made with the traditional lean lamb mince and a potato topping, went down well with the Indian film crew. “They demolished it,” she said. “They just ate it out of my sight, to be polite. In England, when the cameras go off the crew flock to the food like vultures.” Ms Malhi is the author of the bestselling book Brit Spice and the voice of the BBC Food Channel. She is gaining a loyal following for her blend of Brit-Indi cooking derived from a North London upbringing — including “bean and chips for tea” — and a proud Indian parentage. NDTV, which reaches 50 million people, invited her to help to inaugurate its English-language lifestyle channel with a daily food show."




Fast trains in Europe: "The first high-speed rail link between France and Germany began scheduled services yesterday, slashing travel times and marking a major step towards a truly pan-European rapid transit network. The service, offering fast connections to Luxembourg and Switzerland, cuts the Paris-Frankfurt journey by two and a half hours to three hours 50 minutes and brings Munich within six hours of the French capital. The first scheduled passenger train to whizz along the state-of-the-art new tracks was an Inter-City Express (ICE) train, operated by Germany's Deutsche Bahn, that left Paris at 6:43am (1443 AEST) headed to Frankfurt. France's superfast Train a Grande Vitesse (TGV) will also provide services into Germany from December, travelling over the border for the trip to Munich via Stuttgart. The new line, the TGV Est, runs for 300km between Paris and Strasbourg, the home of the European Parliament, cutting the journey time between the two cities from four hours to two hours and 20 minutes. Passenger services on the track between Paris and the border will run at 320kph - compared to 300kph elsewhere on the TGV network - dropping to around 250kph once inside Germany."


Robber caught by his mother: "A Czech armed robber who targeted McDonald's restaurants was grabbed by the ear and marched to the police station by his mum. Katka Zahradnikova, 44, from Prague, recognised her 20-year-old son Michal on CCTV footage screened on the local version of Crimewatch. A police spokesman said: "He admitted he was responsible for robbing a number of the fast-food stores and put up no resistance when she marched him down here by the ear and made him give us a full statement. "We couldn't have done it better ourselves."


A judge remembers: "A judge sentenced a Beatles-loving thief by quoting 42 of the band's song titles in his verdict. Andrew McCormack, 20, had been asked what sentence he thought he should get for stealing beer, he wrote: "Like The Beetles say, Let it Be." But he had clearly come up against the wrong man in Montana's Judge Gregory Todd, reports the Daily Mirror. Judge Todd replied: "'Hey Jude', 'Do You Want to Know a Secret'? The greatest band in history spelled its name B-e-a-t-l-e-s. "Your response suggests there should be no consequences for your actions and I should 'Let it Be' so you can live in 'Strawberry Fields Forever'. "Such reasoning is 'Here, There and Everywhere'. It does not require a 'Magical Mystery Tour' of interpretation to know 'The Word' means leave it alone. I trust we can all 'Come Together' on that meaning. "If I were to overlook your actions I would ignore that 'Day in the Life' on April 21, 2006. That night you said to yourself 'I Feel Fine' while drinking beer. Later, whether you wanted 'Money' or were just trying to 'Act Naturally' you became the 'Fool on the Hill'. "As 'Mr Moonlight' at 1.30am, you did not 'Think for Yourself' but just focused on 'I, Me, Mine'. 'Because' you didn't ask for 'Help'. 'Wait' for 'Something' else or listen to your conscience saying 'Honey Don't', the victim was later 'Fixing a Hole' in the glass door you broke." ...... "Hopefully you can say both now and 'When I'm 64' that 'I Should Have Known Better'." McCormack got probation, a community service order and a fine."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:45 PM

 


THE GRASSHOPPER TODAY

I put up a British version of this a couple of months ago so here is an American version:

AS WE WERE:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

AS WE ARE TODAY:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the Government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.






THE NEWS

East Germany losing women: "A growing shortage of prospective wives in eastern Germany has prompted the government to spend millions of pounds on enticing eligible women to settle there. Wolfgang Tiefensee, the minister in charge of Germany's eastern states, has announced a o2.7m pilot project to lure young women back to the old East Germany. "They're leaving in droves and we can't just stand by and watch," he said. The east has lost many women since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. More likely to graduate from university than men, the better educated women often move to the west or go abroad to land the best jobs. A study by the Berlin Institute for Population and Development last month found that in some parts of the former East Germany there are now only 80 women for every 100 men."




Australia: Another naughty car wash in trouble: "An Oakleigh car-wash proprietor and his bikini-clad washers believe business will get even better if Glen Eira Council has its way. Councillor Kate Ashmore said the Attorney-General had been asked to reclassify the car-wash as an adult entertainment venue. "We're calling on the Attorney-General to legislate," she said. "It's not like going to the beach, where you choose to see them." Owner of Kittens Car Wash on the corner of North Rd and Warrigal Rd, Angelo Dimozantos, said he would happily put up a fence if council won and his business was reclassified. "It might work better with a fence, then people will have to come in to have a look," he said. "Then I could have topless washers, maybe even nude washers and offer lap dancing." Mr Dimozantos opened Kittens about a year ago, staffing it with girls who also worked at his Kitten Clubs. Council has taken him to court for having too many bikini girls on site at the car wash, but he has made them all shareholders and declared them part-owners, not employees, and therefore not covered by the usual rules."




Cyclists ditch lycra in naked display of power: "Thousands of naked cyclists toured the streets of cities around the world yesterday to protest against oil dependency and the car culture. Traffic came to a standstill and onlookers gaped or took photographs as the bare cyclists streamed past London's landmarks, blowing whistles and waving flags saying "Rights for Bikes". Cyclists in Paris, Madrid and Vancouver, among other cities, joined in the fourth annual world naked bike ride. One London participant had painted "Less Gas More Ass" across his bare back to extol the benefits of pedal power. More modest cyclists wore shorts, bikinis or strips of tape. Tom Whelehan, 40, said the protest had numerous objectives: to urge more people to ride bikes, to highlight the vulnerability of cyclists and to celebrate the human body - in all its shapes and sizes. "We're trying to find the simplest, safest and most natural way to make our point," Mr Whelehan, a teacher, said. He said cycling naked was reasonably comfortable but added that some of London's cobbled streets had proved a challenge."




Cuddly sharks in Britain: "For a moment, onlookers could have been forgiven for thinking a scene straight out of the film Jaws had come to the Cornish coast, as lifeguards paddled out towards a tail fin and a dark shape hovering ominously beneath the water. But the lifeguards were in fact protecting the adult basking shark from bathers, not the other way round. "Basking sharks are harmless but we try to keep people away from them because they are a protected species", said Stefan Harkon, a 43-year-old lifeguard. The shark passed just metres from the beach and bathers eager to get up close at the popular Porthcurno beach in Cornwall. They normally arrive off the Cornwall coast in April, with the highest numbers appearing in May and June."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:41 PM

 


AL GORE AND FRIENDS COME VISITING









THE NEWS

Beautiful Baltic blondes resented in Ireland: "Children of Lithuanian immigrants in the Irish Republic feel unsafe and some have been beaten up for being more attractive than their Irish peers, according to a government watchdog from the Baltic state. Rimante Salasevicuite, the Lithuanian Ombudsman for Children, made the claims after visiting Ireland last week to study the conditions in which an estimated 120,000 of her countrymen and women live. She will report to the Lithuanian parliament next week. In a newspaper interview she painted a portrait of life in Ireland starkly at odds with its image as the "Land of a Hundred Thousand Welcomes". "In one Irish town Lithuanian children are beaten only because they are more beautiful than Irish ones," Ms Salasevicuite told Lietuvos Rytas. She also said that Lithuanian children felt unsafe, were discriminated against and were "prohibited from speaking to each other in their own language, even between siblings".


Wheelies trap robber: "Two customers in wheelchairs have helped foil an attempted robbery by a 14-year-old boy armed with a knife in Sydney's east. Police say the boy entered the store at Randwick about 5.30pm yesterday and threatened an employee, demanding cash and cigarettes. But the attendant set off an alarm and locked the front doors. When the boy tried to escape, the two customers in wheelchairs used them to block him in until police arrived a short time later. The boy was arrested and charged with aggravated robbery."


Pajama Moms in Ulster: "So many women in Belfast take their children to and from school while still dressed in their pyjamas that a headmaster has appealed to them to show some respect. Joe McGuinness, principal of St Matthew's primary in Short Strand, a Roman Catholic working-class enclave of East Belfast, was moved to action after seeing as many as 50 mothers arriving at the school gates in their nightwear. In a bulletin to parents, Mr McGuinness wrote: "Over recent months the number of adults leaving children at school and collecting children from school dressed in pyjamas has risen considerably. "While it is not my position to insist on what people wear, or don't, I feel that arriving at the school in pyjamas is disrespectful to the school and a bad example is set to children." Women walking round Belfast estates in all-day pyjama gear is a phenomenon that has been well documented by Robin Livingstone, a columnist in the Andersonstown News, but until now it has been confined to the west of the city. Mr Livingstone said that he first identified All Day Pyjama Syndrome (ADPS) in 2003"




UK: Rap over wobbly road markings: ""Blundering contractors have been ordered to repaint wonky road markings that they painted in the dark.The wobbly markings on the A337 Lyndhurst to Cadnam road in New Forest, Hampshire, have caused some amusement to motorists since they appeared last week. ... The workers have been ordered to do the work again after the first job was done at night, using only a small mobile light to see."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:20 PM

 


EDUCATION TODAY

I sure hope this is an urban myth. But it is believable:








THE NEWS

Judge who fixed divorce cases sent to prison: ""An ex-judge who accepted expensive gifts in exchange for helping fix divorce cases and a former state lawmaker convicted in a scheme to shake down a judicial candidate were sentenced to prison Tuesday. Former Brooklyn state Supreme Court Justice Gerald Garson, 74, was sentenced to three to 10 years in prison. Garson, 74, wept as he asked for leniency, claiming the cigars, cash and other gifts never influenced his decisions."




Lara Croft eat your heart out: "She doesn't drive or play video games, but former Big Brother contestant Krystal Forscutt has been chosen as one of two females to feature in the new Need For Speed racing game, ProStreet. Forscutt, who since leaving the Big Brother house last year has modelled for men's magazines and appeared on celebrity singing show It Takes Two, will play a "flag girl" in the popular street racing title. ProStreet, which is set for worldwide release in spring, will be available on virtually all gaming platforms, and Forscutt is relishing her shot at international exposure. "It was such an amazing opportunity to see all the technology involved in the game - we got to meet all the artists," the 20-year-old told smh.com.au when describing her trip to Vancouver to meet with the game's publisher, Electronic Arts (EA)."


Black cars in more accidents: research: "Black cars are most likely to be involved in a car accident and white cars are safest, research has found. The Vehicle Colour Study, conducted by Monash University Accident Research Centre in Melbourne, has found that white cars are most visible and least likely to be involved in an accident. Black cars have a 12 per cent higher crash risk than white cars, the study found, grey cars are 11 per cent riskier and silver cars 10 per cent more risky. Stuart Newstead, senior research fellow at the University's Accident Research Centre, said the results were expected. "Blacks, dark blues and greens tend to blend in ... and get lost in the road environment," he said. Motorists should consider car colour when purchasing a new vehicle, he said. White has always been a popular colour for cars, but now "silver is the new white", Mr Newstead said, warning that motorists should consider their safety before their colour preference. People who drive dark coloured cars should keep their headlights on and be aware of poor visibility on cloudy days, he said."


Nutty beliefs kill a man: "A Victorian man died during a native American purification ritual largely because his colleagues believed he was simply having an out of body experience, a coroner has found. Rowan Douglas Cooke, from Melbourne, died on November 3, 2004, hours after he was dragged unconscious from a makeshift sweat lodge constructed on a creekbed in the Gammon Ranges in South Australia's far north. Mr Cooke had been camping with 10 other Victorians on Yankaninna Station, 325km north of Port Augusta, for a "vision quest", where people fast, meditate and purify themselves in an attempt to see visions. He had entered the 1.2m high dome - made of 16 bent poles, covered in blankets and heated by hot volcanic rocks - about midnight to meditate but collapsed some hours later. In evidence before the inquest into Mr Cooke's death this week, South Australian deputy coroner Anthony Schapel heard that as the 37-year-old lay dying from extreme dehydration his fellow campers began to chant and play drums to revive him, believing he was astral-travelling. They wrapped him in blankets then buried his feet in soil, massaged his hands and smashed ceramic pipes to bring him back from his journey. Medical help was not sought until after daybreak and Mr Cooke died at Leigh Creek hospital later that day after resuscitation failed."



I have for the moment put up all that I had ready for "Wicked Dox" but as articles that I like disappear, I will no doubt be posting more from time to time. I will always note new postings here.


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:13 PM

 


A PETA AD

The pic below is an ad for PETA but who cares? Just to tell PETA they might have been a bit TOO clever this time, I am not saying what the ad is supposed to be promoting








THE NEWS



40 years of eating live rats, frogs: "A man in southeast China who once ate 20 mice in a day says forty years of swallowing tree frogs, rats and mice live has cured him of intestinal problems and made him strong. Jiang Musheng, a 66-year-old resident of Jiangxi province, suffered from frequent abdominal pains and coughing from the age of 26, until an old man called Yang Dingcai suggested tree frogs as a remedy, the Beijing News said. "At first, Jiang Musheng did not dare to eat a live, wriggling frog, but after seeing Yang Dingcai swallow one, he ate ... two without a thought," the paper said. "After a month of eating live frogs, his stomach pains and coughing were completely gone." Over the years Jiang had added live mice, baby rats and green frogs to his diet, and had once eaten 20 mice in a single day, the paper said."


Wanna bet that sales of Pimm's No. 1 cup will now go through the roof? "Prince William has surprised staff at a supermarket by stocking up on $2000 worth of alcohol. Wearing a T-shirt, baseball cap and jeans, he cleared the Asda store in Weymouth, Dorset, out of Pimm's during his shopping trip yesterday. The prince, who is training to be a troop leader at nearby Bovington Army Camp, filled four trolleys with wines, spirits, beer and snacks at the store. Store manager Darren Rideout said: "He came in the store at 2.10pm with two bodyguards. "He had four trolley loads of shopping, which was mainly alcohol and snacks. "He cleared us out of Pimm's. "A few people came up and spoke to him and he was laughing and joking with them."




Australia has a nocturnal hawk "The world's only nocturnal hawk is on the increase in far western Queensland. The ghostly, elusive letter-winged kite is now nesting and breeding where autumn rains and floodwaters have brought the semi-arid zone back to life. Bird locator John Young took The Courier-Mail into the amazing parallel world of remote-area bird life, discovering six letter-winged kite nests in three days. "Every birdwatcher wants to see a letter-winged kite. They are one of the special birds of the desert," the Ingham-based conservationist said.... After half a dozen fruitless tree inspections, excitement peaked near a tall eucalypt, where binoculars caught the white of the bird in its nest. It was a male, in a nest built in anticipation of attracting a mate, Young explained. Minutes later, the distinctive, beautiful bird had launched itself into the air, showing off the black underwing markings which suggest the letter "M". First impressions were of a cross between an owl and a seagull - such is the kite's flying style on soft white downy wings. "These are the ghosts of the desert," Young said. "Here one day, gone the next, and for years, you might not see them" [For flying creatures, the night mostly belongs to owls and bats but not always]


Charges dropped against woman who pulled faces at police dog: "A US prosecutor dropped charges against a woman who was arrested for staring at and making faces at a police dog. Jayna Hutchinson was about to go on trial this week on charges of cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest, but the case was dropped on Tuesday. "I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog's behavior," Orange County State's Attorney Will Porter said. "Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that."


Patient sheds green blood in emergency operation: "Canadian doctors say an emergency operation in Vancouver has turned into a scene from the X-files when the patient started shedding green blood. But tests show the 42-year-old man isn't a visiting alien, but was suffering from a rare blood condition. Reporting in The Lancet medical journal doctors say the patient was being operated on for restricted blood flow in his lower legs after falling asleep in a sitting position. But surgeons were startled by his dark greenish-black blood. It's apparently been caused by sulphur in the patient's migraine medication being absorbed into his red blood cells."



Today's article on "Wicked Dox" is another of the posts from the old "Tongue Tied" blog that is now offline. It is about a Washington University physics professor who expressed his opinion on his personal website that homosexuality is sinful. The title of the article is of course a reference to Joe McCarthy. None of the articles from TT that I have put up so far were signed but all were written by Scott Norvell.



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:15 PM

 


Queer sports?






Alternative fuel










THE NEWS



Desperate housewife likes Australia: "She may be comfortable romping around in her underwear but, with THAT ring on her finger from fiance Michael Bolton, Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan says she's found her own domestic bliss. The 45-year-old actress was flashing her assets during recent filming for a new advertising campaign for local lingerie label, Hestia. During an exclusive behind-the-scenes interview for Confidential TV, Sheridan said the couple plan an Aussie holiday ahead of their wedding - expected to be this time next year. "We both want to go over to Australia, no work, just for fun and enjoy you crazy Aussies and your fabulous restaurants,'' Sheridan said."


Striking workers complain about lack of sex: "South African workers striking over pay and benefits have a new complaint - they no longer have the energy for sex. Monroe Mkalipi, a regional chairman of the powerful COSATU federations of trade unions, complained that work conditions are so tough workers can't perform in the bedroom. "The harshness that we have in all our workplaces is so severe to such a point that when you get home at night it becomes a problem expanding our families," he said, quoted by the SAPA news agency. Public sector workers are in negotiations to increase pay for the first time since 2004"


Thief nabbed after returning for missing finger: "A GERMAN thief has been nabbed after he tore off his finger during a bungled break-in then went back to retrieve it. After setting off the alarm at Berlin's Technical Museum late yesterday, the 35-year-old man escaped from two security guards, clambered up a three-metre fence but got snagged by a ring on the middle finger of his right hand. The man managed to free himself - but only after tearing off the finger. The security guards arrested him when he went back to recover the severed digit and ask for medical aid. "His comment afterwards was: 'Breaking and entering doesn't pay,'" said a spokeswoman for Berlin police. Doctors were unable to reattach the man's finger."


Late-night lunacy illuminated: "You might have always suspected it, but now it's been found to be true: a full moon brings out the worst in us. A study by a British police force found cases of anti-social behaviour rose noticeably on the brightest nights. "There is definitely a trend," Inspector Andy Parr of the Sussex police said. "With each full moon the number of disturbances recorded increased significantly." Insp Parr, who led the study, said its findings were too striking to dismiss as coincidence. He compared the number of violent crimes recorded in the region last year with the date of each full moon and discovered a distinct correlation. "It may be dismissed as an old wives' tale but there's plenty of other research to suggest that the moon has an impact on human behavioural patterns," he said.... A study published by German scientists in 2000 claimed the full moon also sparked a rise in binge drinking. They checked the police arrest reports and blood-alcohol tests of 16,495 offenders. Most of those with an excess of 2ml of alcohol per 100ml of blood - drunk, under German law - had been caught during the five-day full moon cycle. Another study, published in 1998, discovered an increase in violent incidents among the 1200 inmates at Britain's Armley Jail in Leeds during the days on either side of a full moon."



Today's article on "Wicked Dox" is one of the posts from the old "Tongue Tied" blog that is now offline. It concerns the incorrectness of the term "refugee"...


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:55 PM

 


Homeless Person

As I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for an important meeting, my eye fell upon one of those poor unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Wearing ....what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling a long ago Sunday School admonition to "care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked," I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a hidden beauty. A small voice inside my head called to me...

... "Reach out, reach OUT!"





So I did!




...I expect to get out of the hospital in about 3 more months. It would sure be nice to get a visitor... or maybe even just a card... sometime before then.








THE NEWS



British subway trains to be cooled by iceblocks!: "Hot, stuffy Tube trains will carry blocks of ice to cool down overheated commuters, under plans unveiled yesterday. Engineers from London Underground are attempting to design the world's first train carriages that will have ice units to ensure a supply of cold air when underground. The "phase change" cooling system is one of several technologies that Tube managers hope will bring an end to hot journeys on the Underground network by 2012. Adequate heat control has been a longstanding problem, and many passengers regard travelling on the Tube during the summer as an ordeal. A build-up of heat in the carriages, tunnels and stations is caused by the energy consumed by the trains and the warming effect of millions of passengers passing through the network each day. [None of that new-fangled airconditioning for British trains!]


Surprise! Wrinkle treatment didn't work: "Hundreds of women are seeking compensation after buying a cure for wrinkles that they say has had no effect at all. The nonsurgical "facelift" by Isalogen cost as much as 4,500 pounds and was introduced in Britain four years ago. Trading standards authorities are investigating complaints. Some women want to bring a class action against the company. Others are attempting to sue the clinics. Many of the women were treated at clinics in the Harley Street area in London. Westminster council said: "We have received complaints from a variety of customers. We are advising them of their rights." Julia Dallaston-Morris, 43, a marketing executive from South London, is attempting to retrieve her o2,500 payment for treatment that she claims had no effect. She said: "It was traumatic enough having 30 or 40 injections each time and then depressing to find out that I had spent all that money on something that didn't work"


Man sues drink-maker over permanent erection: "A New York man has sued the makers of a health drink, saying it has given him a permanent erection for the last two years. Christopher Woods said he drank the vitamin-enriched Boost Plus, made by the Swiss-based Novartis pharmaceutical company, on June 5, 2004. He woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment of the condition, called severe priapism, court papers say. Mr Woods, 29, had a penile implant to move blood from one area to another, acccording to the Associated Press. The lawsuit filed yesterday said Mr Woods later had problems that required him to have blood vessels in his penis closed off, a procedure that lessens the likelihood of an erection. Novartis's Boost Plus website described the drink as "a great-tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume", in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."


Logo promo causes fits: "A video clip promoting the 2012 London Olympic Games logo was removed from the organisers' website overnight after reports it had triggered epileptic fits. The video clip showed a diver plunging into a pool as part of a campaign to promote the jagged Olympic logo, a graffiti-like blow-up of the number 2012 in a range of colours including hot pink and electric blue. A London 2012 spokeswoman said the concerns surrounded a four-second piece of animation shown at the logo's launch yesterday and recorded by broadcasters. "This concerns a short piece of animation which we used as part of the logo launch event and not the actual logo," she said. The clip's removal follows comments by Professor Graham Harding, an expert in clinical neurophysiology who developed a test used to measure photo-sensitivity levels in animated TV material. "The logo should not be shown on TV at all at the moment," Prof Harding told the BBC. "It fails Harding FPA machine test which is the machine the television industry uses to test images." Charity Epilepsy Action said there had been reports that people had had seizures while watching the animated footage."


Today's article on "Wicked Dox" is one of the posts from the old "Tongue Tied" blog that is now offline. It concerns a black lady with a large sense of her own importance.


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:29 PM

 


Wise girl?

It was a slow afternoon at the pharmacy when Anthony, the pharmacist, saw a young, buxom blonde walk into the drugstore.

The beautiful blonde sashayed up to the counter and asked Anthony, "Do you sell extra large condoms?"

The pharmacist replied, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

The blonde responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"






THE NEWS



The latest from batty Britain: "Firefighters in Greater Manchester are facing disciplinary action over claims they slept on a station floor instead of their new reclining chairs. Three men, based in Bury, are being investigated for "involvement in the use of unauthorised rest facilities". It is claimed they broke regulations by using sleeping bags on the floor rather than the 400 pound (sterling) chairs. The chairs were installed as part of modernisation programme to replace all beds in the region's 41 fire stations. The Fire Brigades Union (FBU) said the men were all asleep as a team of inspectors from the fire service carried out a spot check early one morning. "We have now christened them the furniture police," said Manchester regional secretary Kevin Brown. Mr Brown said the service launched an investigation into the incident and the men were due to appear before a level three disciplinary hearing on 14 June. "A level three hearing leaves open the possibility for dismissal - this is how ludicrous this is," said Mr Brown. "Obviously what we are looking for is for common sense to prevail. "These people work a 15-hour night shift and they are entitled to take rest periods." The service bought more than 300 of the chairs last year after chiefs decided to remove beds from dormitories across the region. But firefighters were not allowed to sit or lie on the devices before reading a four-page health and safety manual.


Musician canned for focus on wrong organ: "A Catholic priest has removed his church's organist and choir director from her duties saying her sale of sex toys was not 'consistent with Church teachings.' Linette Servais, 50, played the organ and sung with the choir for 35 years. Much of her work as choir director and organist was done without pay. When her parish priest asked to meet with her, she thought it was to say thank you. Instead, she was told to quit her sales job with company known as Pure Romance or she would lose her position in the church."


Walnuts 'a natural Viagra': "Malaysian researchers claim they have created a nutty alternative to Viagra based on walnuts in a pill more healthy than its pharmaceutical counterpart. Kim Kah Hwi, who headed the team of researchers from the University of Malaya, said he was inspired to look into walnuts after reading about their use in history, the Star newspaper reported. "I read articles about the Romans and French having eaten walnuts for this purpose. I thought if it had been documented that long ago, then there surely has to be something there," he told the newspaper."




Pathetic logo for British Olympic games: "When Sebastian Coe unveiled the logo for the 2012 Olympics in London yesterday he described it as an invitation for people everywhere to participate. Rarely, even in his glittering athletics career, can Lord Coe's ambitions have been realised so spectacularly. Within moments the first howls of dissent had registered in cyberspace. By lunchtime a petition had been posted calling on the Games' organising committee "to scrap and change the ridiculous logo unveiled for the London 2012 Olympics" and by 7pm it had more than 8,000 signatures. On the BBC website thousands mocked the design, comparing it to a disfigured swastika and a window that had had a football kicked through it. Others poured scorn on the 400,000 pounds paid to a brand consultancy to produce it. Instead of whetting the world's appetite for "Everyone's Games" as hoped, the Olympic organisers found themselves fighting a furious rearguard action in defence of their expensively acquired new brand identity." [There is a naughty interpretation of the logo here and some protests here]




Royal harpist: "There is a new young blonde on the royal circuit - but she's not a girlfriend of Wills or Harry. In fact, Claire Jones is making sweet music for their father, after she was appointed official harpist to the Prince of Wales. Prince Charles chose the young virtuoso having heard her play just once before. The 22-year-old serenaded Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall when they visited Cardigan Castle last year. Claire, who is only the third person to hold the title in 140 years, will be paid 3,000 pounds a year to perform at royal engagements around the country. Her first booking is at a black tie dinner at Cardiff Castle tomorrow night. The musician, who lives in the village of Crymych, Pembrokeshire, said: 'I am very proud to be able to promote the harp as an important part of our culture and heritage in Wales. I want to continue the work of the previous harpists in celebrating the instrument at official royal functions.'"



Today's article on "Wicked Dox" is by a Leftist writer who argues, correctly, that even Ronald Reagan did not succeed in cutting back the overall size of government in the USA. At best Reagan halted its growth for a while. That Congress controls spending and that Reagan was dealing with a Democrat-dominated Congress, however, our Leftist conveniently ignores. The big-spending record of subsequent GOP-dominated Congresses, however, does give weight to the argument that expanded Congressional spending is unstoppable.



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:32 PM

 


More gems from schoolkid essays

1. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

2. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

3. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

4. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

5. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

6. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

7. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

8. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

9. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

10. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

11. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

12. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

13. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

14. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.






THE NEWS



Giant squid plague in California: "The inky and unpredictable Humboldt Squid is back in big numbers in the coastal waters of Orange County. The sizable cephalopods, which can weigh 30 pounds or more, appear and disappear off the coast with no predictable pattern. They last showed up in significant numbers 2 1/2 years ago, when they swarmed up and down the California coast by the thousands, with hundreds washing up on beaches. Many sport fishermen love struggling against the squirting, squirming beasts. "It's out of control. They're squirting ink and water when they're brought aboard, and they're flashing their colors," said Chris Fowler, who works with Tapp. Tapp said the fish are a handful when hooked, but it's not hard finding bait to make them bite. "They'll eat about anything - other squid, sardines, even sculpin," he said. "Open up one of these squid, and you'll find lots of fish eyes. It's weird."





A cricket gang in Los Angeles: "They don't like cricket. Oh no. They love it. But these willow-wielders don't hail from the Caribbean, the subcontinent or the old country. In the words of another retro musical act, they're straight outta Compton, the gang capital of Los Angeles and birthplace of gangsta rap - and a place where young men are more accustomed to dodging bullets than bouncers. The Compton Cricket Club was established in 1995 by the homelessness activist Ted Hayes to get young men off the streets. "The aim of playing cricket is to teach people how to respect themselves and respect authority so they stop killing each other," he said. "People thought we'd be fly-by-night but no, no ... We caught the boys from Compton at that stage in early adolescence where they shift from tagging into [full-scale gang activity]." Today, most of the original Homies and the POPz, as they call themselves, have families and jobs. They have toured Britain three times in 12 years, inspired a 40-minute opera and sold the film rights for their story to Disney."




Sexy salami: "Spicy sausages and smelly cheese hold the secrets to good sex, not oysters or champagne, an Italian poll has revealed. A quarter of Italian women said salami was their favourite aphrodisiac, while 21 per cent chose cheese. Other culinary delights that fan Italian libidos include risotto alla Milanese and plates of steamed vegetables, which both attracted 12 per cent of the vote. Oysters, which are traditionally considered to be aphrodisiacs, but are relatively rare in Italy, did not feature at all in the survey. Alessandro Di Gregorio, the director of the Artes Centre for Assisted Procreation, said: "The benefits of the Mediterranean diet on libido are clear." He linked the consumption of nduja, a fiercely hot salami from Calabria, with an increase in blood flow. "Chilli helps release a peptide in the gut which is like natural Viagra," he said."




Scuba diving at the Eiffel Tower? "Visitors to the Eiffel Tower usually go for the spectacular views of the French capital, but this month they will be able to cool off by scuba diving in the pool at the foot of the landmark. Although the 16 by 16 metre pool, which opened on Friday, is just 1.5m deep, organiser Jean-Bernard Bros said it was a good way to promote diving to city-dwellers. "Most people in France live in cities, so we have to bring diving to them," said Mr Bros, a diving enthusiast city official who is also president of the company that runs the Eiffel Tower. "We must make diving accessible to everyone." Wetsuits, flippers, masks, air tanks and an instructor are all provided for a 10-minute plunge in the pool." [Diving in 4 1/2 ft deep water??]


Today's article on "Wicked Dox" reports how America is hated in SOUTH Korea -- the part that America saved from the deadly Communist tyranny of North Korea. No good deed ever goes unpunished.



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 1:57 PM

 


The dear departed







THE NEWS

Sleeping causes weird sex: "A wide range of sleep disorders carry some risk of inappropriate sexual behaviours during sleep, or even waking hours, according to a new report. Abnormal sexual activities during sleep - known as "sexsomnia" or "sleepsex" - include anything from moaning to masturbating to making sexual advances toward a bed partner, all while in a state somewhere between deep sleep and wakefulness. Sexsomnia is officially recognised as a subtype of parasomnia, a group of disorders that includes sleepwalking, sleep talking and night terrors, among others. But abnormal sexual behaviours can affect people with a wide range of sleep-related disorders, according to the new report, published in the journal Sleep. Inappropriate sexual behaviours have been described in people with sleep disorders as diverse as parasomnias, severe insomnia and restless legs syndrome"


Tough cat: "OLLIE the cat has used all nine lives in an ordeal that has astounded experts. The siamese was accidentally locked in a truck for 52 days, surviving on dried noodles and water leaking into the vehicle. Owners Jenny and Andrew Harston, of Chelsea, had almost given up hope of seeing the purebred alive when he was found in a neighbour's truck. They wandered the streets searching for the two-year-old pet and passed its "prison" many times. "We could see the truck from the street and Ollie must have heard us calling his name," Mr Harston said. "The neighbours had seen our missing cat notice and had checked their shed and cars, but didn't check the truck, because it was rarely used. "Ollie lasted 52 nights and 53 days in that truck and it was only when the neighbour opened it up and saw something move inside that they realised he was there." Ollie had halved his body weight to 1.2kg and looked like a skeleton when he emerged. "It's a miracle. He ate two-minute noodles, although we're not sure how many packets were there, and he got a little water dripping through the truck roof," Mr Harston said."


Penis size matters: "It has long been said that women value personality in a man over penis size - and research published today suggests this is true. But blokes can still go nuts over the issue of quantity versus quality, it seems. While men agonise over the length and girth of their member, women are more interested in a man's looks and outlook on life, it found. A review of existing studies concluded that worries over penis size do not go away even for men of average length. Dr Kevan Wylie, from the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield, England, found that men often have a better body image and increased sexual confidence if they have a large penis. He and Ian Eardley, from St James's Hospital in Leeds, studied more than 50 lots of international research into penile size and "small penis syndrome" carried out since 1942. They brought together the results of 12 studies that measured the penises of 11,531 men, and noted the average erect penis ranged from 14 to 16cms (5.5 to 6.2in) in length and 12 to 13cm (4.7 to 5.1in) in girth".


Mrs Robinson revisited: "It was something straight out of a Desperate Housewives script - 11 middle-aged women in search of an eager "toy boy" to call their own. The young men came courtesy of speed dating service Fast Impressions at the launch of its Toy Boy Night in Sydney last week. Its rules were simple: the women had to be between 35 and 47, the men 23 to 35. In its promotional material for the speed dating night at the Aurora Lounge in Sydney's CBD, organisers tempted single men and women with lines including "Prefer to get them young and train them?" and "Boys, do you prefer the allure of experienced older women? Perhaps harbouring a Mrs Robinson fantasy?" Fast Impressions general manager Anna Saunders said pairing older women and younger men was losing its social stigma. "We got the idea for a toy boy night from a few of our online members, who expressed an interest," Ms Saunders said. "Once we organised it and put it up, the women's spots filled up in just a couple of days." By 7.30pm the Aurora Lounge was filled with the excited chatter of the 22 participants. The well-dressed younger men wasted no time getting to know their elegant and professional older dates. After each participant was given a score card, the speed dating started. Seven minutes between each couple, fuelled by unlimited champagne and canapes"



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 11:28 AM

 


Getting down to basics

During WWII, an American Army Captain stationed in England met and fell in love with a British Lieutenant in the WRENS. After a whirlwind courtship, they became engaged and his fianc, wanted him to spend the weekend at her parents' home in the country so they could meet him.

When they arrived at a huge estate, a Rolls Royce was parked in front of a circular driveway with a staff of a dozen maids, butlers, gardeners, etc., standing at attention awaiting their arrival. It was obvious to the Yank that his fianc, was no ordinary Brit, but of the nobility. Her parents were absolutely taken by her choice of a husband and a delightful weekend was enjoyed by all.

When the Yank returned to his headquarters outside London, he went to the British liaison officer's office, explained what had happened, and asked what the proper protocol would be for him at the wedding.

"At the wedding, pretty much the same as your American weddings, I would say, but a bit more elaborate. The big difference would be after the wedding. You will both have connecting rooms in the Claridge. You will both go to your separate rooms, where you will bathe, apply cologne, put on your pajamas and robe, and go to the door connecting your two rooms. You will rap on the door. She will answer, 'yes,' and you will say, 'I offer you my honor.' She will respond, 'I honor your offer.' That is your permission to enter her room. After that, it's honor and offer all night."







THE NEWS

Lucy was actually painted in a sky with diamonds: "It was 40 years ago that Sgt Pepper taught the band to play and, although she did not perform on the album, a London housewife has confirmed that she was the inspiration for one of its most famous songs. Myth and rumour have surrounded the real-life inspiration for Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, John Lennon's swirling ode to psychedelia. Beatles biographers and accounts by the band members confirm that Lucy O'Donnell is the only possible source for the song. Lucy, now a 43-year-old housewife, was a classmate of John's son, Julian, at Heath House nursery school in Weybridge, southern England. Her moment of fame came in 1967, when Julian came home from school with a drawing of a girl surrounded by stars. John asked him what it was. "It's Lucy, in the sky with diamonds," Julian said. Mrs Vodden, as she is now known, said: "I remember Julian and I both doing pictures on a double-sided easel, throwing paint at each other, much to the horror of the classroom attendant." In a BBC interview overnight, she said: "Julian had painted a picture, and on that particular day his father turned up with the chauffeur to pick him up from school. "I can imagine him painting a figure and saying, 'That's my friend Lucy at school', and his father consequently asking, 'What's that in the sky?'."




Hard sell for Viagra oyster farmer: "They have long been regarded as an aphrodisiac, but a NSW oyster farmer has gone to bizarre lengths to ensure his shellfish provide stimulation for seafood lovers. George May has laced his oysters with Viagra in a bid to lure overseas customers. Mr May, who is marketing Viagra Oysters, says this not only lifts the aphrodisiac qualities of the shellfish but there is a potential Asian market of up to $300 million. The unusual additive has the farmer in hot water with the drug company making Viagra and with NSW food authorities. Food Safety NSW says Mr May's conduct is illegal and breaches the NSW shellfish program under the Food Act. Pfizer, maker of the world's first oral treatment for erection problems, threatened legal action as the name Viagra Oysters is a trademark violation. Mr May, who patented the process, says he will go on harvesting the oysters and transferring them to tanks where he crushes Viagra because there is an overseas market. "We realise we will not be able to sell them in Australia but we haven't been told we can't harvest them here despite a number of conversations with the Food Authority," he said. "Other countries have different regulations so we will be selling overseas."


Man critical after spitting competition: "A 43-YEAR-OLD German man has been taken to hospital in critical condition after falling off a second storey balcony during a spitting contest with his 12-year-old son, police say. A spokesman for the police in the eastern town of Cottbus today said the man in Forst had apparently lost his balance after thrusting too far forward in his attempt to out-spit his son. He tumbled over the ledge and landed on a balcony of the ground floor apartment, police said. He was taken to hospital in a rescue helicopter."




Bikini saleswoman displays her wares: "She's a member of Australia's exclusive Billionaires' First Wives Club, but don't expect to see Jodhi Meares moping about the place as her famous former hubby ties the knot in the Cote d'Azur in a few weeks. With no time for boyfriends and not content with the frenetic lead-up to next week's finale of her hit show Australia's Next Top Model, Meares has spent the past week in the Big Apple lugging bikinis all over Manhattan drumming up business for her Tigerlily range. On Thursday she met executives from Saks on Fifth Avenue, taking a bevy of curvy beauties with her to showcase her designs, which Saks plans to stock in six stores. She was also having talks with the Victoria's Secret chain of lingerie boutiques. The New York move marks her first big expansion (well, beyond New Zealand and Asia) since launching Tigerlily in 2000. One of her early Australian Fashion Week shows featured a $5 million diamond studded bikini"




Today's article on "Wicked Dox" is a quiz about civil rights in America. It deals with very basic facts of recent history but few younger Americans today would pass it.



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:13 PM

 


Picking your nose with a difference







Mathematics wisdom

The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. -- Aristotle

How happy the lot of the mathematician. He is judged solely by his peers, and the standard is so high that no colleague or rival can ever win a reputation he does not deserve. -- Auden, W. H.

Perhaps the greatest paradox of all is that there are paradoxes in mathematics. -- Kasner, E., and Newman, J.

A topologist is one who doesn't know the difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup. -- Kelley, John

Where there is matter, there is geometry. -- Kepler, Johannes

(From Shiller Math)





THE NEWS

Some Indians WANT to be "untouchables": "For thousands of years India's ethnic Gujjars have been looked down on by much of society, as they were traditionally pastoralists who raised sheep, goats and water buffalo. Now, as India approaches the 60th anniversary of its independence, the Gujjars have had enough, and are demanding that their social status be changed. But in an unusual example of how caste works in modern India, they want to be downgraded to the lowest level so that they can benefit from an affirmative action scheme. Tens of thousands of Gujjars have blocked roads and railway lines in the northwestern state of Rajasthan since Tuesday, accusing the local government of reneging on a promise to lower their status. At least 15 people, including two police officers, have been killed in rioting when the Gujjars repeatedly set alight police property and attacked government offices. The Indian Army has even been called in to quell the violence"


Security guard shoots man for singing out of tune: "A man has been shot dead by a security guard for singing out of tune in a Philippine karaoke bar. Romy Baligula, 29, was halfway through his song on Tuesday night in a bar in San Mateo town, east of Manila, when 43-year-old security guard Robilito Ortega yelled that he was out of tune. When Mr Baligula ignored his comments and continued singing, Ortega pulled out his revolver and shot him in the chest. Senior Superintendent Felipe Rojas said Mr Baligula died instantly. The security guard was detained by an off-duty policeman shortly after the shooting. Deaths and violence are not uncommon in Philippine karaoke bars. The popular Frank Sinatra song My Way has been taken off many karaoke bars in Manila after it was found to be the cause of fights and even deaths when patrons sang out of tune".




An American aristocrat? "A childless aristocrat searching for an heir to take over his 7.5 million pound mansion believes an American rock star is the answer to his prayers. Sir Benjamin Slade has spent the past 18 months scouring the world for a relation prepared to take on Maunsel House, his 13th-century stately home in Somerset, which he says he can no longer afford. His search was even made into a television programme, I'm Really a Royal, but now it may be over. Isaac Slade, lead singer with The Fray, contacted Sir Benjamin last year expressing an interest in his family roots. He found out that he is one of the aristocrat's closest living relatives, and yesterday he was touring the mansion that may become his home. Sir Benjamin said: "If Isaac moves in he and his band can have huge concerts in the grounds. It would be fantastic and pay all the rotten bills." Slade, 24, is related to Sir Benjamin through the Worcester branch of the family, which started the Slade Art School before moving to America. He declared the house to be "absolutely out of this world". The singer and his wife, Anna, 23, and the band's guitarist, David Welsh, and his wife, Janell, are staying in the Grade II-listed house for two days as guests of Sir Benjamin."


Chinese officials reined in: "New regulations that specifically ban gambling, girls and gifts have been imposed on Chinese officials abroad by one provincial government, because previous rules were widely ignored. The announcement, by the prosperous southeastern Zhejiang province, will dismay those officials who view a trip overseas as a reward for good behaviour at home and a chance to misbehave beyond the watchful eye of Communist Party discipline enforcers. It had been forced to issue the new rules, it said, because of the number of officials travelling abroad who violate standing regulations banning bad behaviour. The notice stipulates that officials will not be allowed to extend their stay overseas, to change their itinerary for any reason or to take part in any activity or conference not related to the purpose of their trip. More specifically, they are banned from taking part in any form of gambling - whether using their own funds or public money. Nor are they allowed to use any pretext to accept an invitation to enter a place of gambling. Gambling is something of an obsession among Chinese"



Today's article on "Wicked Dox" recalls how many Christian church leaders opposed the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:15 PM