WICKED THOUGHTS

Thoughts both serious and not

For some serious thoughts about our strange systems of justice, see HERE



HOME

EXTRAS

PICTURE GALLERY

Mirror site here



This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
 


Mini Meanie

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition.

"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win."

"Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily.

When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"

"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he put his Roman collar back on.





As one thief to another...

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."

The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!"

The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"




THE NEWS

Jail dog named 'Allah' spells curtains for UK prison officer: "Naming his sniffer dog "Allah" has resulted in in prison officer Chris Langridge, 28, being shifted out of Britain's top Belmarsh high-security jail. Though Langridge insisted that his labrador was called Ali, and not Allah, a Muslim inmate filed an official complaint against the the dog handler, and he was promptly shifted. One Belmarsh officer said: "This is political correctness gone mad." elmarsh houses some of Britain's most notorious extremist Muslims, including hook-handed Abu Hamza. It also has the highest proportion of Muslim prisoners of any jail in Britain. "Muslims don't like dogs and it would have been an insult to their religion if the dog had been called Allah, which is sacred to them. It is disgraceful the way the management kow-towed to them despite Chris's denial," The Sun quoted a source, as saying. Langridge and his dog are now working at the Swaleside jail on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent."




It pays to look under your bed: "A 2,500-year-old gold cup that has spent the past 60 years in a box under its owner's bed is expected to fetch up to 100,000 pounds after being rediscovered during a house move. The cup was given to John Webber by his grandfather, a rag-and-bone man, who acquired it in the 1930s. Because his grandfather, William Sparks, dealt in brass and copper scrap, Mr Webber assumed that it was made from those metals until he had the unusual piece valued this year. The cup, which is 5.5in (14 cm) high, is embossed with two female faces, each wearing a crown formed from snakes. It baffled experts from the British Museum until metallurgical tests identified its likely origins as the Middle East or North Africa between three and four centuries before Christ."




Chubby cheeks are beautiful?: "Chubby cheeks are the secret to a youthful appearance and attracting the opposite sex, according to new research. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons claims that fatty deposits underneath the face help to keep people looking young and beautiful. Scientists hope that the findings, which explain why sudden weight loss can make people look older, will help them develop techniques to halt the signs of aging. One suggestion is that fatty deposits are injected beneath the skin to plump up cheeks. "From the irresistible urge to pinch the cheeks of infants to our admiration of Hollywood stars like Audrey Hepburn and Angelina Jolie, we've known for a long time that cheeks are vital to what we consider beautiful," said Joel Pessa, a surgeon and co-author of the study in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, the official medical journal of the society."




Dangerous hats in Britain: "It is a rite of passage for all university graduates but now a university has warned students not to throw their mortarboards in the air in case they injure themselves. Anglia Ruskin University told those about to graduate after three years of study they should refrain from the post-finals tradition of flinging hats into the air because it can damage the hats and "cause injury". Anglia Ruskin, based in the ancient university town of Cambridge, requests that those preparing for graduation "do not throw the hat up into the air," in a statement on its website. "This not only causes damage to the hats but it can also cause injury if the corner of the hat hits the graduand or others who may be nearby," it adds. The university defended the move and said it was not banning hat-throwing. In a statement it said: "We have advised students to be careful since a student had to be hospitalised after he was struck on the head by a hat several years ago." The student received stitches but there are no other similar injuries have been recorded."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.



|

Thoughts both serious and not

For some serious thoughts about our strange systems of justice, see HERE



HOME

EXTRAS

Mirror site here