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Rabbi In A Confessional box

I think this is the best Jewish joke I have heard for a while

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.

In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest: "What did you do?" Man: "I committed adultery." Priest:"How many times?" Man: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Rabbi: "How many times?" Woman: "Once." Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."






THE NEWS



Strange Saxon treasure: "A rare Saxon relic found by a metal detector enthusiast, who at first thought it was a milk bottle top, is expected to fetch between$20,000 and $30,000 at auction next month. The 9th-century gold pointer, known as the Yorkshire Aestel, was found by Tim Pearson, an amateur treasure hunter, at Aughton, South Yorkshire, in 2005. The hollow cast pointer would have been used by monks as an aid to reading manuscripts. According to the auctioneers Bonhams, King Alfred (871-99) commissioned several aestels and sent them to all the bishops of his kingdom to accompany a copy of a translation of Pope Gregory I's Regula Pastoralis."




The footballer and the model: "South Sydney star Craig Wing has just learned his first lesson in politics - judging bikini contests during an election weekend doesn't earn you any votes. Especially with your girlfriend. The NRL pin-up turned aspiring pollie was left red-faced yesterday after suggestive photographs of him posing with Gold Coast glamour girl Gemma Farrell at a Surfers Paradise nightclub surfaced. While the saucy shots momentarily threw into question Wing's long-term relationship with Zoe Foster, his party prince behaviour also evoked the ire of Randwick locals, who asked why he was absent from the polling booths. Last month, Wing revealed he had joined a ticket to run alongside No More Parking Meters president Charles Matthews in the Randwick Council elections. "I was on holidays with a couple of my mates and I was asked to judge the contest, so I did what any guy would pay to do," Wing told Confidential yesterday." [Do you blame the guy?]


Dog calls 911: ""Man's best friend" doesn't go far enough for Buddy - a German shepherd who remembered his training and saved his owner's life by calling 911 when the man had a seizure. And it's not the first time Buddy has been there for owner Joe Stalnaker, a police officer said Sunday. On a recording of the 911 call Wednesday, Buddy is heard whimpering and barking after the dispatcher answers and repeatedly asks if the caller needs help. "Hello, this is 911. Hello ... Can you hear me? Is there somebody there you can give the phone to," says the dispatcher, Chris Scott. Police were sent to Stalnaker's home, and after about three minutes Buddy is heard barking loudly when the officers arrived. Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said Stalnaker spent two days in a hospital and recovered from the seizure. "It's pretty incredible," Clark said. "Even the veteran dispatchers - they haven't heard of anything like this." Clark said police are dispatched whenever 911 is called, but that Stalnaker's address was flagged in Scottsdale's system with a notification that a trained assistance dog could call 911 when the owner was incapacitated".


Woman finds python in Dutch hotel toilet: "A GUEST at a Dutch hotel found a live, 2.5 metre python in the toilet, alerting authorities who arrested four people for illegally trading in rare animals, it was reported today. In yesterday's incident the snake is believed to have slithered up the drain from a room below, where authorities discovered about 30 exotic animals, ANP reported, quoting the police. The animals included snakes, geckos, frogs, salamanders and a baby crocodile. Most were in boxes and bags, but two geckos were walking around freely in the room where police arrested three men and a women, all from Rome.



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:08 PM