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Top Ten Dirty Lawyer Sayings

The top ten things that sound dirty in law (but aren't!)

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:

1. Think you can get me off?








THE NEWS

Ass thrown in jail: "An Egyptian donkey has been jailed for stealing corn on the cob from a field belonging to an agricultural research institute in the Nile Delta, local media reported today. The ass and its owner were apprehended at a police checkpoint that had been set up after the institute's director complained that someone was stealing his crops, the state-owned Al-Ahram daily said. The unnamed ungulate was found in possession of the institute's corn and a local judge sentenced him to 24 hours in prison. The man who had his ass thrown in jail got off with a fine of 50 Egyptian pounds ($11).




Brainiac at work: ""Stupid" is how police described the person behind the wheel of the car in this picture, snapped in Taylors Lakes by a Leader reader. They say the long plank of wood protruding from the front passenger-seat window could have seriously injured or even killed a pedestrian. Brimbank motorist Pam Gow sent the photo taken on her son's mobile phone to the Leader. "My son was in the passenger seat and took the photo because we couldn't believe our eyes," she said. "It was so dangerous. After it happened we just drove off with our mouths open." Ms Gow feared a cyclist or motorcyclist might run into the wood. The Leader passed the photo to police."




British cat lovers: "To some he was Dave, to others Atkinson or Fonzworthy III, but most just called him Ginger. Cat lovers in Bath have set up a shrine to a ginger tom that turned up on their doorsteps 14 years ago and never left. The stray was adopted by the occupants of at least half a dozen homes. Adoptive owners in the wealthy suburb of Bear Flats would also chip in to help to pay the veterinary surgery bills when he became ill. And with news of his death this month, people left tributes and even photographs at the spot where he would bask in the sun. Tony Brown, who befriended the cat, said: "I knew him as Atkinson. He touched many people, he used to sprawl on the pavement and wait for people to stroke him." One poem at the roadside reads: "No more dearest Ginger will you sprawl in the sun/ Upon pavement - or road - till the long days are done / Our acquaintance was brief, and your life span too small/ but we shall not forget you, loved and missed by all."


Turks too horny: "A small hotel on the Mediterranean coast of Turkey has sacked its male employees for having affairs with foreign female guests. Pelin Yucel, the manager of the Image Hotel in Marmaris - a port city on the southwest coast of the country that relies heavily on tourism for most of its income - said that her 27-room establishment now employed only female staff. Most of the guests were British and Russian tourists, she said. "We had been facing the same problem every year, but after the last incident we decided to run the hotel by only female staff. The last straw was when I saw our bartender, who was a very decent man, walk out of the bathroom with a British tourist," Ms Yucel was quoted in the local media as saying. An estimated 20 million tourists visited Turkey last year, many of them drawn by its sandy beaches and turquoise waters - but some by other attractions"




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:08 PM