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Sunday, November 16, 2008
 


Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.






THE NEWS

Winning sportsmen to be given pot-plants instead of flowers?: "To the victor, the laurels. Or rather, at the London 2012 Olympic Games, a pot plant. In an attempt to be environmentally competitive, organisers of the London Olympics are planning to scrap the exotic bouquets usually presented to winners and replace them with "greener" greenery. They have ruled out flying fancy blooms from abroad because of the hefty carbon footprint that would create. Instead they plan to give athletes home-grown plants, including the sort that champions might want to pop in a little bed of peat in a window box when they get back home - if their countries' import rules permit. Tessa Jowell, the minister for the Olympics, has confirmed in parliament that "locally sourced plants" will replace cut flowers as gifts to medal winners, competitors and other visiting dignitaries in 2012."


Aggressive musicians: "Three people were injured, one seriously, in ugly scenes at a British music awards ceremony in London. The brawl occurred at the sixth annual Urban Music Awards at the O2 entertainment complex in south-east London on Saturday night. "We were called at 2211 GMT [9.11am AEDT] on the 15th to a disturbance at the O2 Arena site," a spokesman for London's Metropolitan Police said. "We found three men suffering injuries. Two are not serious injuries, the other one is. They appeared to be stab or slash victims. There has been one arrest." Leona Lewis, Dizzee Rascal, Duffy and Estelle were among the performers nominated for awards. Soul singer Mica Paris was to be presented with a lifetime achievement award. Andre Nevling, 24, said a woman at the same table as himself was "covered" in blood. "Obviously the guy who got stabbed must have run straight past her and she's pretty shaken up," he said. Another witness, who wished to remain anonymous, said: "I didn't see what happened but there were champagne bottles flying and I hid under the table." ["Rappers" at work, no doubt]


Girl hits bikini rock bottom: "A woman who reported a burglary had to apologise when her daughter admitted making the mess - broken ornaments and furniture upended - trying to find a bikini. Ananova reports that the woman rang police thinking her house in Rheydt, near Moenchengladbach, Germany, had been ransacked by thieves. Sylvia Riegler, 16, turned up as police were trying to work out how burglars had entered the locked flat and told her mum she had not had time to clear up. A police spokesman said: "It looked like a classic break-in when we arrived, ornaments had been broken, draws emptied and furniture upended. It was chaos, but there was no sign of forced entry." The embarrassed teenager said: "My mum is always going on at me about the mess I make and I admit that I am a bit untidy. But I really didn't think I had caused so much mess."


British police chief tough on British drivers but lenient with foreign truck drivers: "Controversial police chief Richard Brunstrom has suggested that his officers are not enforcing traffic laws on one of Britain's busiest roads . . . because pulling over foreign truck drivers might harm the economy. The North Wales Chief Constable, once nicknamed the Mad Mullah of the Traffic Taliban for his firm support of speed cameras and persecution of motorists who fail to observe the letter of the law, appears to have admitted turning a blind eye to some offences committed by truckers on the A55 to Holyhead. Addressing a cross-party committee of the Welsh Assembly, he said: `If we start enforcing the law rigorously on the A55, we run a risk of severe economic damage to the port of Holyhead because the traffic will transfer to Liverpool if there was a lighter touch there.'




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.



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Thoughts both serious and not

For some serious thoughts about our strange systems of justice, see HERE



HOME

EXTRAS

Mirror site here